I am going thru this EXACT same thing with my son (also 10) & his Dad who is the CP. On the days I have son (I live in the same neighborhood & he rides the SAME bus home to both houses) he comes to my house by himself. The difference is that SM is usually at his dad's house when he rides the bus there.
My son LOVES the responsibility of riding the bus home by himself on the days I have him. He is alone about 35 minutes before I get home. His dad is FURIOUS that I would even consider letting DS do this 'when SM is there at Dad's house & son would be perfectly all right with her'. Dad has even threatened to call the police on me, when there is NO state law saying son cannot stay by himself.
Dad, along with the control thing, just does NOT understand how responsible it makes son feel. In Son's words "I love it Mom. I don't WANT to stay with SM. I WANT to come here & wait for you."
Let your son continue to do what makes YOU comfortable. Your Ex needs to realize there are different parenting styles & he can't control how you 'parent'. In my case, my Ex- bought my son both a BB gun & a dirt bike -- neither of which I agree with. AND he rides the dirt bike in Dad's one-acre yard w/out a helmet even!! But G_d forbid I even TRY to tell Dad I don't agree w/something HE'S done, as he thinks he is Dad-of-the-Year all the time.....
[quote]Thanks. DS is very proud of the fact that I trust him enough to do that. He is really bothered by the fact that his father is trying to take that responsibility away from him. It's sad really. [/quote]
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.