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#228039 - 05/10/07 02:24 PM Taking own food to NCP's house
rockinrobin Offline
newbie

Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 31
Hi everyone. The last 2 weekends my ex has called and left messages on my voicemail saying "If you want (son) to eat anything this weekend you need to bring it because I don't have anything here." So I provided him with meals for the weekend, but it bothers me because he got a huge tattoo the week before. I also have to bring his clothes, but that's not a big deal. How should I handle this? Thanks.

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#228040 - 05/10/07 03:56 PM Re: Taking own food to NCP's house [Re: rockinrobin]
cincsu Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 4687
Loc: residence in AZ, case in CA
that is ridiculous. i wouldn't provide food, and if he keeps it up i'd motion to stop your child from going there. save the messages he wrote. if it is his time with the child he should at the minimum be expected to provide food. clothes i can understand, but food...give me a freaking break.

if the CP knows the NCP is taking the child on vacation and wants to send along some spending money with the child that is a nice thing to do, but it shouldn't even be requested.
_________________________
wife of 1, mother of 2, stepmother of .3475902453

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#228041 - 05/10/07 03:57 PM Re: Taking own food to NCP's house [Re: rockinrobin]
agui667 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/23/06
Posts: 4497
Brings back memories...I remember last summer when my ex was out of work and the kids wanted to go to his house during the day so they could swim in the pool. My ex would charge me $30 a day and I had to bring breakfast and lunch for them..What a complete JOKE!

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#228042 - 05/10/07 04:13 PM Re: Taking own food to NCP's house [Re: agui667]
rockinrobin Offline
newbie

Registered: 02/09/06
Posts: 31
Thank you both for your replies. I've got the messages saved just in case, and there are several other things documented.

agui, charging you $30 for your kids to swim in their DAD'S pool?! That makes me kind of nauseous.

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#228043 - 05/10/07 04:18 PM Re: Taking own food to NCP's house [Re: rockinrobin]
agui667 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/23/06
Posts: 4497
He said that was what I would be saving if they didn't go to daycare..I guess that he thought he was running his own summer camp! lol lol

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#228044 - 05/10/07 04:56 PM Re: Taking own food to NCP's house [Re: agui667]
themema Offline
recently joined

Registered: 05/09/07
Posts: 5
You just have to wonder sometimes what parents are thinking. There are those that think that NCP should pay for childcare/food etc when not exercising visitation though, so I guess this would be the flip side of the same coin.

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#228045 - 05/10/07 05:52 PM Re: Taking own food to NCP's house [Re: themema]
MominNY Offline
member

Registered: 02/20/07
Posts: 131
Loc: New York
Both those situations are ridiculous! I thought having to supply diapers and sippy cups was bad...sheesh! It gets even better whent the NCP refers to spending time with their children as "babysitting"...

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#228046 - 05/10/07 06:21 PM Re: Taking own food to NCP's house [Re: MominNY]
aaz Offline
recently joined

Registered: 03/25/07
Posts: 18
Loc: Georgia
I'm the CP and sometimes have to request that my stbx send our son's clothes back home with him. I understand that clothes get dirty, need to be changed, need to be washed, etc. and don't always come back right away. That's not a problem at all... as long as within a few days or weeks, my stbx will return the clothes. I do the same for him. Not long ago, I needed something specific that I had recently bought for our son. He'd only worn it once before wearing it to his dad's. I called stbx and asked if I could get it. He told me that Wal-Mart sold pants for $3.50. Some of our son's stuff should freely go back and forth between both homes. They're for him, not us adults. But there should be mutual respect. Don't assume I'm going to stock his clothes closet in both homes.

BTW, I'm new and wondering if there's a list of acronyms/abreviations somewhere. I'm just not "getting" some of them.

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#228047 - 05/10/07 06:30 PM Re: Taking own food to NCP's house [Re: rockinrobin]
KrazyKat Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/05/07
Posts: 1714
Loc: Somewhere in the Middle
I would reply to him with...

"If you can't feed your child then maybe you should go home to momma and daddy for help"

You should not be sending the major food source with your child on his visits. You don't send it to the neighbor's house when he/she is spending the night do you? It's the other parents responsibility to feed the child while in their care.

We don't expect BM to send the food for SS to our house and we would never ask her to either. That's rediculous.
_________________________
If you have a problem, build a bridge and get over it!

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#228048 - 05/10/07 06:45 PM Re: Taking own food to NCP's house [Re: rockinrobin]
Debi Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 7157
One summer when the kids were staying with my x everyday I sent a couple bags of groceries of things the kids liked to help out. We had 50/50 placement and it was saving me a bundle in childcare. Then the kids told me their SM gave the food away to one of her friends (this was before we got along). I remember posting about this and getting blasted because I was controlling what they fed the kids. Anyway I quit doing it because it's not like I wa made of money, just trying to be helpful and I figured if the kids weren't going to get the food then I wasn't sending it.

What your x is asking for is ridiculous. Hell, my x hasn't seen the kids or paid CS (other than 32.00 a month) in a year. I've never asked him and his wife for food even though we could probably use it sometimes. Especially since I'm out of a job right now.
_________________________
When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.

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