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#228304 - 05/11/07 12:28 AM No visitation since 1/1 and now saying he wants
4yroldmom Offline
newbie

Registered: 10/09/05
Posts: 40
What do I do now? My almost 6 year old hasn't seen or spoken to his father since january first by his father's choice. "He was working at the beach" He called once in February to see him and didn't show up when I went to meet him. When I called him on it his "wife" called back and said he was still working at the beach and didn't know how he was supposed to see him. The next time my son was supposed to see him I asked him if he was going to show up at our meeting place and he hung up. He called back again a month later asking to talk to my son. My son called him back and he hung up on my son. He called back and said they were "disconnected". My son called him back again and he didn't answer. Now, he hasn't spoken or seen him in months so of course when I took him back for child support arrears that were supposed to be paid by December 15th and are now going back before the commissioner in June since he refused to pay he wants to see him. Last weekend I told him no, my weekend and already had plans and he hasn't seen him since January. He called back this week and said that he understood it's mother's day and if I had plans he would see him next week. When I called him back about only taking him for a few hours Saturday night after he got off work because he hasn't seen him since January he said no - taking my son to see Grandmother and would keep him until noon. I explained it was mother's day. He said he would be taking me and my husband to court already had the petition filled out. He said he would bring the cops to my house this weekend. I told him to go ahead i would not allow my son to go with him until the court made a decision then. Am I wrong? This has been happening over and over again since my son was a baby. I have sole custody and he is supposed to have visitation every other weekend 9am sat to 9am sun (which we agreed to when son was 6 months old).

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#228305 - 05/11/07 12:59 AM Re: No visitation since 1/1 and now saying he wants [Re: 4yroldmom]
4yroldmom Offline
newbie

Registered: 10/09/05
Posts: 40
Also, forgot to mention father does not have a license to drive. Suspended due to child support arrears according the Child Support Enforcement while we were at mediation for arrears. DCSE representative told him more than likely he was notified and he did not read the letter. He got defensive and said she didn't know that and that the court had not been sending things to the right address he moved out of state and didn't notify anyone except me of new address.

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#228306 - 05/11/07 01:56 AM Re: No visitation since 1/1 and now saying he wants [Re: 4yroldmom]
mommy2boys Offline
addict

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 497
Loc: Louisiana
Tell him he can pick up son at 9am Sat, but he is to be returned by 9a on Sun just as the CO says. When he shows up well after 9a Sat, you don't have to let him take your son, especially if he is driving. IF he shows up by himself and threatens to call the police let him go ahead and do it, then mention to the police that the reason you won't allow him to take child is because the CO says 9am on Sat, and from what you understand his licenses is suspended and he isn't to be driving therefore you do not think it is appropriate for son to ride in the vehicle with him.

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#228307 - 05/11/07 02:08 AM Re: No visitation since 1/1 and now saying he wants [Re: mommy2boys]
4yroldmom Offline
newbie

Registered: 10/09/05
Posts: 40
What if the police come with him and his wife and she is driving - do I have a right to say I think it is unsafe for him to take him because he has no license and there is no guarantee that he will not be driving even if he does have her there and because he hasn't seen son in over 5 months by his choice?

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#228308 - 05/11/07 02:18 AM Re: No visitation since 1/1 and now saying he wants [Re: 4yroldmom]
4yroldmom Offline
newbie

Registered: 10/09/05
Posts: 40
Also, I have seen some posts about certified letters - I'm thinking about sending this one "Mr >>>>>, Our current court order states that you are to see our son every other weekend sat 9 am to sun 9 am with alternating holidays and any changes to that schedule are to be discussed 48 hours in advance. As of this date you have missed x visitations without notice. As of 4/30 you were notified that your license has been suspended. Based on your voicemail on x/x because it was mother's day you agreed to change your weekend. I called with an alternative because you were working and to assist in helping you to get to know your son again. You have refused that alternative. I am respectfully requesting that you consider our son in this matter. You have not seen him in over 5 months - spending more than 24 hours with him all of a sudden could be stressful for him. I would like to have our order modified to supervised visitation and a state drop off/pick up location determined. Until we can come to a new agreement I am requesting that you follow the following schedule:

5/11 3:30 (when you are off of work) until 8 pm
5/26 2:30 until 8 pm
6/6 1:30 until 8 pm
x/x 12:30 until 8 pm
x/x 11:30 until 8 pm
x/x 10:30 until 8 pm
x/x 9:30 until 8 pm

This will assist in allowing our son to get you know you again before he spends a full weekend.

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#228309 - 05/11/07 02:32 AM Re: No visitation since 1/1 and now saying he wants [Re: 4yroldmom]
mommy2boys Offline
addict

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 497
Loc: Louisiana
Legally you still have to let him go. But say he shows up at noon, your CO clearly states 9am, then no you don't have to let him go because X wasn't there at the specified time.

IF the wife is there and she is driving, the police will assume that she will be the one driving, since X doesn't have a licenses.

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#228310 - 05/11/07 02:32 AM Re: No visitation since 1/1 and now saying he wants [Re: 4yroldmom]
BeckaLeigh Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 6879
Loc: Texas
I hate to say it and alot of people may disagree with me but I think you are mking a mountain out of a molehill. My kids havent seen grandparents or dad since Nov and they are going with them for part of the summer. IS there a particular reason why you dont want him to have him for the reg time?
_________________________
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

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#228311 - 05/11/07 02:34 AM Re: No visitation since 1/1 and now saying he wants [Re: 4yroldmom]
BeckaLeigh Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 6879
Loc: Texas
NOPE!!!
_________________________
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

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#228312 - 05/11/07 02:36 AM Re: No visitation since 1/1 and now saying he wants [Re: mommy2boys]
BeckaLeigh Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 6879
Loc: Texas
Honestly, is there any other reason you dont want your son going with his dad? Do you have to stick to the CO to the letter because of prior incidents? Just wondering, dont want to say something without more background and be all wrong once again.
_________________________
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

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#228313 - 05/11/07 02:36 AM Re: No visitation since 1/1 and now saying he wants [Re: 4yroldmom]
nrvouswrk Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/13/06
Posts: 2362
If he hasn't seen the kid for months, then why does he automatically get to start his EOW this weekend? Have you guys really been keeping tract of who has when since the divorce? If not, then this can be your weekend, and the next one his. Especially since this one is Mother's Day weekend.

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