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#228995 - 05/14/07 02:48 AM Frustrated!
MommyAlisha Offline
old hand

Registered: 02/22/07
Posts: 931
Loc: Wesy Virginia
Mother's day started off ok. DH made me breakfast. then we went to church. So far, so good!

We came back home and joined the neighborhood cookout. That was good!

Ten minutes before leaving to get my kids from their dad(2 hour drive), the baby's mom calls. She wants to come see her son. DH says "you know we get J, C, C from their dad's everyother Sunday. You know what time we leave and come back. We will be home around 8:30. You can come then."

She says "no I'm coming now. I will be there in an hour."

Well, we leave to go get the kids. Let me explain, DH goes with me because I have problems driving long distances so he usually drives. I go and chat with my ex and his wife to find out anything they need to tell me.

Anyways, we get back at 8:20. She left a note on our door saying:

I came to see C. You knew I was coming. I can't believe you kept him from me on Mother's Day. You are a terrible dad and will rot in hell.

She called about an hour ago and starting screaming and cussing in the phone. DH said "You had all day and waiting until you knew we had to go. The court order supervised visitation is not Sundays but I was going to allow it. I am sorry you didn't get to see C. I am hanging up now. Call back when you can speak nicely."

She has called back since screaming and cussing and he has hung up the phone. Everything is on tape including what he said.

I had to vent!

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#228996 - 05/14/07 02:54 AM Re: Frustrated! [Re: MommyAlisha]
BeckaLeigh Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 6879
Loc: Texas
Can we say psycho? It sounds like a control issue here.
_________________________
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

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#228997 - 05/14/07 12:57 PM Re: Frustrated! [Re: BeckaLeigh]
MominNY Offline
member

Registered: 02/20/07
Posts: 131
Loc: New York
Well, this should be the norm now! Yikes! I hope your kids don't witness any of this.

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#228998 - 05/14/07 01:15 PM MA [Re: MommyAlisha]
BeckaLeigh Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 6879
Loc: Texas
After the last few weeks, I don think anything can surprise me when it comes to some women/me and their children. They are disposable to them, it seems like. We are planning on moving but I am scared if I do, my neighbor's daughter, which also happens to be my DD10's best friend, will be $crewed. Just expect it. I know it doesnt make it much easier. But, I am getting to the point that nothing surprises me anymore.
_________________________
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

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#228999 - 05/14/07 05:25 PM Re: Frustrated! [Re: MommyAlisha]
Debi Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 7157
The woman is a nutcase and she's not much of a mother and I'm certainly not taking her side but there should have been some time offered to her to see her son on mother's day. Was anything else offered? Like we'll call you when we return so you can come over for a bit?

I think your H should give her set times when she can see him so nothing like this happens in the future. It might mean you guys have to stay home for a 2 hour period of time waiting for her a couple times a week but at least she won't be able to say that you're keeping her from seeing him. KWIM?
_________________________
When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.

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#229000 - 05/14/07 08:00 PM Re: Frustrated! [Re: Debi]
MommyAlisha Offline
old hand

Registered: 02/22/07
Posts: 931
Loc: Wesy Virginia
On the phone DH told her that we will be home at 8:30 and she can come after that. She wanted to come when I got my kids. Meaning I would have to go alone so she could be here with DH alone. She knows I can't drive long periods and DH drives. She also knows DH does not want to be alone with her. It was all a control issue.

My ex and I have had set times through our court ordered for over 4 years stating pickup and drop off times. He gets the kids extra when he gets a chance but other than the everything is done occording to the CO times. She knows this.

She has CO supervised visits. We make sure we are home for them but she has never shown up.

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#229001 - 05/14/07 08:01 PM Re: Frustrated! [Re: MommyAlisha]
HatesFeminazis Offline
newbie

Registered: 05/13/07
Posts: 47
I understand.

I just think it stinks.
_________________________
First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win-so read me.

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#229002 - 05/14/07 08:04 PM Re: Frustrated! [Re: MommyAlisha]
nrvouswrk Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/13/06
Posts: 2362
If she was so interested in seeing her child on MD, why didn't she call the day before to set up a time? She waited until an hour before she planned to see the child to call. I don't see you (MA) or your husband as being at fault here.

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#229003 - 05/14/07 09:39 PM Re: Frustrated! [Re: MominNY]
MommyAlisha Offline
old hand

Registered: 02/22/07
Posts: 931
Loc: Wesy Virginia
The kids saw the note but don't know what it said or who it is from. DH stayed calm on the phone. We have our answering machine set to not play incoming calls when they are coming in. We do not listen to messages when the kids are in hearshot.

Unfortunatly, they saw her go off on DH once a few months ago. She was yelling and cussing at him. Snatched the baby(in the carseat) from him and slammed the carseat down right inside her house. The carseat hit the side of her brick wall and the baby started screaming and crying. My kids started screaming because it is not something they are use to. I told her that if she does this again, I will speak to a lawyer and the magistrate about it and she has not done it since. Thank God!

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#229004 - 05/14/07 10:56 PM Re: Frustrated! [Re: MommyAlisha]
Debi Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 7157
Like I said I wasn't taking her side. You didn't put in your first post that your H told her she could come at 8:30. That gives him the "out" he needs when she complains.

When I mentioned CO'd times I was talking about for your SS not your kids. Don't think I was suggesting that you not pick up your kids for her benefit. As long as there are CO'd times for her to visit and someone is there to receive her then she's SOL and if there was no provision for yesterday then that's her fault and she should have thought of it.
_________________________
When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.

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#229005 - 05/14/07 11:04 PM Re: Frustrated! [Re: Debi]
joym525 Offline
old hand

Registered: 03/13/07
Posts: 756
Her first post does say BM can come at 8:30???

You in now way owe the BM to wait around for when she feels like showing up to visit SD. She can call a week in advance to set up a visiting time.

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#229006 - 05/14/07 11:18 PM Re: Frustrated! [Re: joym525]
HatesMaury Offline
recently joined

Registered: 05/13/07
Posts: 10
Let's think about this for a little bit...okay?

A mother on Mothers Day.

An ex that can "pull the strings."

A new wife/girlfriend that supports and encourages the "pulling of the strings." Plus...one that "can't drive any distance."

This is a recipe for disaster and will frustrate any mother (or father on Fathers Day with the terms reversed).

Let's get something straight between us...

If you were the mother and perhaps, didn't even deserve to be a mother, yet still...wouldn't you (putting yourself into her situation) just "assume" (I hate that word) that on your "special day" and re-inforced with the "make others feel guilt if they don't celebrate "your day" marketing strategists" to make money, think that at least for this one day, that "you could be nice?"

Like I said, I can understand and think it stinks, but for this one day, why can't exceptions be made?

C'mon... Put yourself in her shoes for just one day out of 365 days...

Just a thought...from someone that thinks ex's can be cruel and don't mind hurting their ex's at the expense of the children...

Y'know what I mean?

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#229007 - 05/15/07 02:14 PM Re: Frustrated! [Re: joym525]
Debi Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 7157
That's what I get for skimming a post. I read the we will be home at 8:30 part but missed the "you can come over then part". Sorry.

I do think that in the middle of a custody battle the parties DO owe each other. Actually they owe it to themselves even more. In this case it probably won't make much difference since there are SO many things they have to show BM as unstable, but they still need to show their willingness to co-parent even if she doesn't. I'm not saying that because MA is a SM I'm saying it because it makes sense that whoever wants custody should do every single thing they can to facillitate a relationship between the child and other parent. Does it get old? Hell yes. I am the poster child for "sucking it up", but I do it.
_________________________
When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.

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