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#229204 - 05/14/07 10:38 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: Gecko]
PhoenixRising Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
Gecko,

I said she was perfectly capable of judging whether her son could handle THAT responsibility...IE: walking to MacDonald's.

I also pointed out that her ex might have a valid concern. IMO, she MIGHT be treading the line of a safety issue, given my experience w/ CPS..

I don't know where this is taking place. Here in downstate NY, 10yr olds don't go places by themselves. No children do.

Parental concern should be expressed strongly when it comes to endangerment issues. I pointed out I would express EXTREME parental concern about any child riding a dirt bike without a helmet.
_________________________
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato

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#229205 - 05/14/07 10:44 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's hou [Re: BeckaLeigh]
yregna Offline
veteran

Registered: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
I feel sorry for my kids too, kinda like the way I feel sorry for Iraqi civilians injured when we kill terrorists. It is just too bad for them...
_________________________
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..." "Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"

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#229206 - 05/14/07 11:26 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
Relayer Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
[quote]OK, Son is 10 &amp; just finishing up 4th grade. Dad is CP -- we live 5 blocks away from each other in the same subdivision.

From Ex I've gotten "I don't want Son to ride the bus to your house from the school. I want him to come here JUST LIKE HE'S ALWAYS DONE &amp; SM can watch him &amp; you can continue to pick him up from my house." Well, son IS riding the bus over Dad's objections.

NOW I find out that they questioned Son on whether I 'ever' let him go to McDonald's by himself. McDonald's is at the front of our subdivision 2.5 blocks away. No streets to cross either way. Yes, I let son go there on 4 occassions -- 2 with other boys &amp; 2 by himself. He takes his cell phone &amp; is to call me when he gets there &amp; when he leaves. It takes 3 MINUTES to ride back. I know -- we've times it.

I would just like to tell Ex- 'what happens at Mom's house STAYS at Mom's house'.... I am so sick of him trying to run MY time when I have Son I could SCREAM! Did I call Ex- up when I found out Son (at 8!) got a BB Gun for Xmas &amp; voice my opinions of guns in general &amp; how I wanted Ex- to get rid of it right away?!! No of course not, because he would have told me 'go to H**l." When Ex- got Son a dirt bike &amp; lets him ride it on his property WITHOUT A HELMET did I tell him he couldn't allow that? No of course not. But THEY feel like they are FREE AND CLEAR to try to tell me what I should/should NOT be doing with Son. UGH!!! Just venting of course as there's no solution, unless Dad does me a favor &amp; walks off the edge of the earth..... [/quote]

Really, what happens at each others house is both of your business as he is both of yours son. I know it can be hard sometimes, espcially as a NCP. But he has a right to know what is going on and you ceratinly do to.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!

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#229207 - 05/14/07 11:35 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: PhoenixRising]
Relayer Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
[quote]CI only ask because I have been on the receiving end of 22 child abuse charges. It is never fun.

On only one of them, I was found guilty: I made my child run around outside to calm down and he skinned his knee.

[/quote]

I was talking to my 6 year old daughter last night on the phone. She told me she fell on the sidewalk and skinned her knew and it had bled a little.

Should I call CPS and charge the ex with child abuse?

Running, you and I don't agree on much, but that charge against you was total BS. I can't believe it even went as far as it did or than it was even investigated. If CPS investogates every kids who scrapes their knee, they would need to use CSI....Child Scrape Inspectors
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GO CUBBIES!!!!

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#229208 - 05/15/07 12:39 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: PhoenixRising]
c_jane Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 1951
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
[quote] The no helmet while dirt biking is life threatening. How can you let that continue? Putting aside that your child could be severely injured; do you know that in case of injury, you could be held as equally guilty as your ex because you knew and did nothing about it?

If this is ongoing, write your GAL today! [/quote]

I have called the police. I was told since it was on private property nothing could be done. Just like on a farm/ranch you can let your kids drive a pick-up/tractor before they're of legal driving age. I did make the policeman write down my complaint so at least I have a record of it....

I live in a very safe subdivision in a semi-rural area. Ex- moved here first about 3.5 years ago to 'get away from the high crime area he lived in'. He picked this area because it WAS safe. I followed 13 months later &amp; moved here also in the same subdivision.

Kids walk everywhere. My son rides his bike down the street to his friends' houses, &amp; vice versa. People jog, walk their dogs, etc. all the time. I'm not saying crime CAN'T happen here, just that it's as safe as MOST subdivisions. Oh, it's also patrolled several times daily by an off-duty cop, paid for by the subdivision dues.

And son is not riding to McDonald's after dark! And NO, I'm not encouraging him to break his DAD'S rules--when at my house, he follows MY rules. What his DAD does at his house is up to him!

The GAL is the one that suggested that after son turned 10, 'she' would be OK with son riding the bus home to my house on the days I have him. Son 'loves' riding the bus.... gives him a sense of responsibility &amp; he DOESN'T have to spend the time with SM!
_________________________
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.

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#229209 - 05/15/07 01:57 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
jil_stevens Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 08/01/06
Posts: 3893
So, are you talking about a motorized dirt bike without a helmet??? If so, I would talk with your son about the possible dangers...and get him a helmet.

Our youngest two ride dirt bikes, and they LOVE the helmets. Half the time we have to make them take them off because they put the helmet on before the rest of the gear. They are just like motorcycle helmets and the kids are thrilled, and mine are 10 and 11...yours might feel the same way.

Just a couple of weeks ago, SS10 steered into some soft sand and, at that age, of course they try to turn out and brake, all of which is wrong. So the bike went down and he went up, over the handle bars, flying through the air and landed straight on his head. He was uninjured...but only because of the helmet. I would talk with your son...given the way our two love their helmets, he might really enjoy wearing one as well, esp. if he gets to pick one out.

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#229210 - 05/15/07 02:22 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
PhoenixRising Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
The POLICE can't do anything about it. But the court can, the GAL can, CPS can...

That is like saying "Well, I took my son's broken arm to the neurologist and he couldn't do anything about it. So, I guess it is okay, with me"

Give me a break. This is your son's brains we are talking about...

If it was me, I would not send my child back to his father. Let him file for contempt and let him explain to the judge his poor parenting choices... I am fine w/being slapped on the wrist and being told I am overprotective..

It seems that you two are more into fighting with each other and no one is interested in the child...
_________________________
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato

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#229211 - 05/15/07 02:49 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: PhoenixRising]
c_jane Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 1951
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
Really?? How can we be fighting if we hardly ever talk to each other? When son's at my house, Dad calls, asks to talk to son, I put son on. I do NOT talk to Dad. It's counterproductive. The same thing happens when son is at Dad's house. I do NOT call to talk to Dad. I either send him a letter, return receipt requested, OR call my lawyer to call HIS lawyer. If I want to know what's going on with son's schooling &amp; son can't fill me in, I email the teacher. The less I have to do with Ex- &amp; SM the better off we all are. Then it DOESN'T put SON in the middle of 2 people that he loves, only ONE of which is using son to get back at the other person. After all, I am the NCP -- what MORE can Ex- do to me?!

[quote]It seems that you two are more into fighting with each other and no one is interested in the child... [/quote]
_________________________
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.

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#229212 - 05/15/07 03:19 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
PhoenixRising Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
I see.. So fighting through lawyers doesn't count as fighting?

You are both determined to "steal" time away from the other one. You are both planning new court dates...

Yeah! That qualifies you as "fighting"..

It just seems from your posts that your agendas are more important than your child; seeing as all you have are excuses as to why you haven't done more if your child is really being endangered while at your ex'z house...
_________________________
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato

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#229213 - 05/15/07 04:50 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: PhoenixRising]
googledad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/31/05
Posts: 10213
I'm sure everyone would be just as supportive if the NCP was male .
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.

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