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#229184 - 05/14/07 04:10 PM What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!!
c_jane Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 1951
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
OK, Son is 10 & just finishing up 4th grade. Dad is CP -- we live 5 blocks away from each other in the same subdivision.

From Ex I've gotten "I don't want Son to ride the bus to your house from the school. I want him to come here JUST LIKE HE'S ALWAYS DONE & SM can watch him & you can continue to pick him up from my house." Well, son IS riding the bus over Dad's objections.

NOW I find out that they questioned Son on whether I 'ever' let him go to McDonald's by himself. McDonald's is at the front of our subdivision 2.5 blocks away. No streets to cross either way. Yes, I let son go there on 4 occassions -- 2 with other boys & 2 by himself. He takes his cell phone & is to call me when he gets there & when he leaves. It takes 3 MINUTES to ride back. I know -- we've times it.

I would just like to tell Ex- 'what happens at Mom's house STAYS at Mom's house'.... I am so sick of him trying to run MY time when I have Son I could SCREAM! Did I call Ex- up when I found out Son (at 8!) got a BB Gun for Xmas & voice my opinions of guns in general & how I wanted Ex- to get rid of it right away?!! No of course not, because he would have told me 'go to H**l." When Ex- got Son a dirt bike & lets him ride it on his property WITHOUT A HELMET did I tell him he couldn't allow that? No of course not. But THEY feel like they are FREE AND CLEAR to try to tell me what I should/should NOT be doing with Son. UGH!!! Just venting of course as there's no solution, unless Dad does me a favor & walks off the edge of the earth.....
_________________________
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.

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#229185 - 05/14/07 04:35 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
yregna Offline
veteran

Registered: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
I believe the key point here is " Dad is CP "...

Just like me, if Dad is the Custodial Parent ( Almost unheard of...) you have nothing to say about what he does when he is with his Dad. Dad on the other hand has plenty to say about what the son does in your care, so mind your Ps and Qs or Son will "decide" not to visit YOU any more...

Son is learning a valuable lesson about divorce and what tyrants women can be...Doubt he will ever allow a women to bleed him out of money.

Please post more, I love the rare story where the women is getting the shaft custody wise...So rare...

The happiest day of my life so far was when my son told his mom last hear at this time that he hated her and never wanted to see her again. ON MOTHER'S DAY !!

Classic, absolute classic....Wish I had it on tape.
_________________________
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..." "Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"

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#229186 - 05/14/07 04:50 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: yregna]
BeckaLeigh Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 6879
Loc: Texas
Pitiful, pitiful. this isnt about CP and NCP and CS, it is about them trying to run HER time, while she doesnt tell him how to run HIS time. And, no, dad DOESNT have any say on what she allows son to do regardless unless it is dangerous, you ignoramus. And vice versa. How did you ever find a woman ignorant enough to marry you?
Wait, it reminds me of that joke. Man: Why did God make you so beautiful yet so stupid? Woman: He made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me, he made me stupid so I would be attracted to you.
_________________________
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

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#229187 - 05/14/07 05:45 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's hou [Re: yregna]
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
omg..I just have to say this...even though it's juvenile: YOU'RE AN IDIOT!

No..even if dad is the CP, he has NO RIGHT to know what goes on in mom's house...and NO right to stick his nose into her families business (unless there is abuse of course). Same goes if the mom is CP.

I really feel sorry for your kids.

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#229188 - 05/14/07 06:07 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's hou [Re: M5M5]
BeckaLeigh Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 6879
Loc: Texas
I feel sorry for his kids too. I cant believe some of the things he says. They are just outlandish.
_________________________
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

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#229189 - 05/14/07 06:16 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's hou [Re: BeckaLeigh]
MominNY Offline
member

Registered: 02/20/07
Posts: 131
Loc: New York
yregna - last 'hear' at this time?? Kind of goes along with your user name, trying to spell angry backwards. You failed at that one to. Stop bothering people.

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#229190 - 05/14/07 06:19 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: yregna]
c_jane Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 1951
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
Well, YREGNA -- you would LOVE my story. How Dad took son away from me at 9 months old. How he has NEVER cared for son himself but had either his older daughters or his live-in GF care for him. How he has told me to my FACE that son was better off in daycare than with me. And on & on......

But wait! Guess what?! Son is SEEING FOR HIMSELF what a Jacka** dad is. Son asks ME to go to mediation again so HE can get more time with me. Son is looking forward to the day he turns 12 & the judge will listen to him & let him come live with me. And no, I've never been proven unfit/abusive/a druggie -- heck, I don't even have an outstanding traffic ticket!! AND I work in education so have had the standard 'background' check.

I'm truly sorry for your pain -- obviously you have suffered just as I have in reverse. And yes, I think all MEN are scum of the earth......
_________________________
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.

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#229191 - 05/14/07 06:23 PM LOL mominny (eom) [Re: MominNY]
BeckaLeigh Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 6879
Loc: Texas
.
_________________________
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

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#229192 - 05/14/07 06:39 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
Runswithscissors Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 05/30/04
Posts: 13394
C_Jane- this poster did not post to you personally.... At this time, I would strongly suggest putting the following on ignore.

Yrgena (or whatever their name is).
Hatesfeminatzi
HatesGecko
HatesGr8dad
HatesCaroline
HatesMaury.

There is an individual who is back on this site that has been banned for years. Infact, his name is so bad, when you say it's... it's "censored" and so is his website.

When you get crazy responses like Yrgena you know they are not here to help you. They are here to try to destroy the board as that's been their mission for 10+ years.

Go ahead, use the ignore button and don't think another minute about them. It's not worth getting your blood boiled up...

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#229193 - 05/14/07 06:43 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
Runswithscissors Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 05/30/04
Posts: 13394
C_jane,

Do not let his emails bother you. It's a game and he's gonna win if you let it. I too am a NCP.

When you get the emails/letters- you simply ignore them. UNLESS you are endangering the child, I wouldn't worry about it.... I always have had the mentality- You're the custodial parent.. WHAT more can you do to me? You will always have visitation.. he can't take that away (unless, again... of child endangerment).

My ex wouldn't "allow" me to cut our daughter's hair... I couldn't get her ears pierced.. finally two years ago (she is 11) I said.. what can HE possibly do to me?? NOTHING... so.. I had her ears pierced and I reg. take her and get her hair cut..... Now... he doesn't say anything.... he realizes he was being coy.......

Just continue to be mom, what happens at your house is YOUR business!

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#229194 - 05/14/07 06:57 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: Runswithscissors]
c_jane Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 1951
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
Yeah, and dear ol' dad doesn't realize that WHEN we go back to mediation, the court will NOT take time AWAY from me -- and they just MIGHT give me MORE time, since that's what son wishes. I'm willing to take that gamble...

And meantime, DAD is having to borrow from his retirement fund ever time I drag his sorry a** back to court. I have money saved up -- court's not costing me anything basically. So we'll go back to mediation every year son wants to until he's 12......

And to every one else that warned me against the 'other poster' ...... thanks. I wasn't upset; I thought it was kinda funny. He hates women just as much as I hate MEN!!


[quote]C_jane, UNLESS you are endangering the child, I wouldn't worry about it.... I always have had the mentality- You're the custodial parent.. WHAT more can you do to me? You will always have visitation.. he can't take that away (unless, again... of child endangerment).

Just continue to be mom, what happens at your house is YOUR business! [/quote]
_________________________
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.

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#229195 - 05/14/07 07:05 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
Runswithscissors Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 05/30/04
Posts: 13394
C_jane.

I don't know your situation... so how about refreshing me. The only concern I see is that maybe your way of doing it is not healthy either. Is the father endangering the son? If not, why not ask for 50%? I realize that you are somewhat bitter of the ex having custody and I try to realize that not everyone has the situation I have... however.. I have this situation because I kept my child OUT of the courts. I have trouble with any person using a child as a pawn.... especially in custody battles. Sometimes a parent may have to sit back and allow their child to have the best, normal life they can have...... does it mean I love my daughter less? HELL NO.... I did what I did because I love her and didn't want her life to be all bitter......

Give me more details about your situation....

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#229196 - 05/14/07 07:07 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: Runswithscissors]
Runswithscissors Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 05/30/04
Posts: 13394
Okay.. I just went back and read.. you are not asking for MORE time than dad.. you are asking for equal time......

With that said.... maintain your cool..... try to keep your son out of it as much as possible..... and let us know how it goes!

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#229197 - 05/14/07 07:20 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: Runswithscissors]
c_jane Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 1951
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
Son WANTS to spend every other week with each of us. I would be more than happy to do that. HOWEVER.... last time son wanted to just spend TUESDAY night with me (as well as the ordered Thursday night) Dad told him 'no'. Son asked but 'why Dad? why can't I spend another weeknight at Mom's? I want to."

Dad's reply? "Well son I'm just acting in your best interest. I just want what's best for you."

Son: "So how is staying at Mom's not best for me?"

Dad had no answer to that. Son said he just sighed & walked out of the room. And what's he gonna tell son? "Because I'm an a** and I hate your Mom's guts & the only way I can get back at her is through you so that's why I have to tell you 'no' to seeing your mom"?? We know that's never gonna happen. so instead he's gonna make me drag his arse back to mediation so son & I can get more time together.

And the only way son is going to get what HE wants is if he comes to live with me because I'm NOT playing games, even tho I hate his dad's guts too.....



[quote]Okay.. I just went back and read.. you are not asking for MORE time than dad.. you are asking for equal time......

With that said.... maintain your cool..... try to keep your son out of it as much as possible..... and let us know how it goes! [/quote]
_________________________
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.

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#229198 - 05/14/07 08:37 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
supermansdaisy Offline
addict

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 658
Loc: SC
C Jane,

I am also NCP with dad as CP. I have the boys Mondays, Tuesdays, and EOW. I've been put through the same exact boloney you have (even the 6 year old getting a BB gun!)

My ex even filed for FULL custody in January of 2005. He had gotten remarried and just thought he'd like the kids more, and was tired of dealing with me. Well, after two long years and a guardian ad litem, and many trips to court, he learned that you can't just HAVE the kids because you WANT TO.

Keep your power. Your time is just that: YOUR time. Do what is right by the kids, don't badmouth their dad (wait until they leave, at least), and enjoy the time you have with them.

If you ever need to vent, you can PM me. I am very familiar with the feelings you are experiencing. I still struggle with it myself. For instance, DS10 doesn't have his baseball cap with his uniform (they didn't pack it for him yesterday). He called his SM, who is at home, and asked her to bring it. She just said she'd call his dad and maybe he would bring it by. But you know? I would think SM would drag her a$$ off the couch and bring it over (5 miles) since she forgot to pack it. I told DS10 that I wasn't going to get it and that he needed to remember his own responsibility in this. BUT I am NOT going to drive over there, which is what SM wants. SM is weird...she REFUSES to drive to my house. I do ALL drop-offs/pick-ups. She wishes I were dead.
_________________________
------------------------- A problem shared is a problem halved.

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#229199 - 05/14/07 09:53 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
From Ex I've gotten "I don't want Son to ride the bus to your house from the school. I want him to come here JUST LIKE HE'S ALWAYS DONE & SM can watch him & you can continue to pick him up from my house." Well, son IS riding the bus over Dad's objections.

---> If I'm reading this correctly, then I think that YOU are in the wrong here and should NOT be encouraging the child to disobey Dad.

NOW I find out that they questioned Son on whether I 'ever' let him go to McDonald's by himself. McDonald's is at the front of our subdivision 2.5 blocks away. No streets to cross either way. Yes, I let son go there on 4 occassions -- 2 with other boys & 2 by himself. He takes his cell phone & is to call me when he gets there & when he leaves. It takes 3 MINUTES to ride back. I know -- we've times it.

---> I used to not ask question of the kids if it involved the other parent's house because I didn't want to be accused of interferring or spying or whatever...now I don't give a damn. If I have concerns...because of something I see or hear...you damn straight I'm going to question OUR children!

I would just like to tell Ex- 'what happens at Mom's house STAYS at Mom's house'.... I am so sick of him trying to run MY time when I have Son I could SCREAM!

---> Huh? I don't see in EITHER example that YOU provided ANY indication the your ex is trying to run "your time"?
_________________________
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!

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#229200 - 05/14/07 10:18 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
PhoenixRising Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
C Jane..

I also have a 4th grader and I would never allow him to go anywhere by himself... BUT you know what? My opinion doesn't matter, you are his mother; you know your child. What isn’t right for my child might be perfectly fine for yours.

You are perfectly able to judge whether your son can handle that kind of responsibility. AND you have every right to do so WITHOUT your ex’z interference.

I assume this is an "accepted" "normal" allowed excursion for 10yr olds in your neighborhood because you said two other boys were allowed to accompany your son.

Are there any other children that are allowed to go by themselves, though?

I only ask because I have been on the receiving end of 22 child abuse charges. It is never fun.

On only one of them, I was found guilty: I made my child run around outside to calm down and he skinned his knee.

Being registered child abuser had a catastrophic effect on my goal of becoming a teacher. My Appeal cost thousands of dollars. Here is the decision in part:
http://pic60.picturetrail.com/VOL1780/8916437/16451040/252619812.jpg
http://pic60.picturetrail.com/VOL1780/8916437/16451040/252619868.jpg
http://pic60.picturetrail.com/VOL1780/8916437/16451040/252619853.jpg

If I were you and was planning to go back to court to ask for more time, I would err on the conservative side. No sense in giving him any ammunition.

The no helmet while dirt biking is life threatening. How can you let that continue? Putting aside that your child could be severely injured; do you know that in case of injury, you could be held as equally guilty as your ex because you knew and did nothing about it?

If this is ongoing, write your GAL today!

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#229201 - 05/14/07 10:27 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: PhoenixRising]
HatesFeminazis Offline
newbie

Registered: 05/13/07
Posts: 47
OMG!

My parents must have been the worst ever!

Afterall, I rode my bicycle a good 2 miles to school...in KINDERGARTEN!

Sheesh!

When will over protecting, undermining, not allowing children to be children ever stop?
_________________________
First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win-so read me.

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#229202 - 05/14/07 10:30 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: PhoenixRising]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
You are perfectly able to judge whether your son can handle that kind of responsibility. AND you have every right to do so WITHOUT your ex’z interference.

---> Really? What if the ex thinks it's ok if our teenager son/daughter goes on a co-ed camping trip...with no adults. What if the ex thinks our child can swim well enough to NOT be supervised in the pool? Would my commenting or objecting be "interferring"?

---> In a way...I have to agree with our woman-hating friend above; I have seen many times when it's ok if the Mom makes the decision, but not ok if it's the Dad.

---> I can remember the ex throwing a fit about my teaching our children to shoot (.22 rifle) and I didn't consider his anger to be "interference", but simple parental concern. Once he discovered that the children were carefully supervised, that only one child got to fire at a time and they wore glasses and ear plugs...he was ok with it.
_________________________
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!

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#229203 - 05/14/07 10:31 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: Gecko]
HatesFeminazis Offline
newbie

Registered: 05/13/07
Posts: 47
------------->Yeppers. HateFeminazis haters Gecky babe, too. :)
_________________________
First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win-so read me.

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#229204 - 05/14/07 10:38 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: Gecko]
PhoenixRising Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
Gecko,

I said she was perfectly capable of judging whether her son could handle THAT responsibility...IE: walking to MacDonald's.

I also pointed out that her ex might have a valid concern. IMO, she MIGHT be treading the line of a safety issue, given my experience w/ CPS..

I don't know where this is taking place. Here in downstate NY, 10yr olds don't go places by themselves. No children do.

Parental concern should be expressed strongly when it comes to endangerment issues. I pointed out I would express EXTREME parental concern about any child riding a dirt bike without a helmet.
_________________________
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato

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#229205 - 05/14/07 10:44 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's hou [Re: BeckaLeigh]
yregna Offline
veteran

Registered: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
I feel sorry for my kids too, kinda like the way I feel sorry for Iraqi civilians injured when we kill terrorists. It is just too bad for them...
_________________________
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..." "Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"

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#229206 - 05/14/07 11:26 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
Relayer Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
[quote]OK, Son is 10 & just finishing up 4th grade. Dad is CP -- we live 5 blocks away from each other in the same subdivision.

From Ex I've gotten "I don't want Son to ride the bus to your house from the school. I want him to come here JUST LIKE HE'S ALWAYS DONE & SM can watch him & you can continue to pick him up from my house." Well, son IS riding the bus over Dad's objections.

NOW I find out that they questioned Son on whether I 'ever' let him go to McDonald's by himself. McDonald's is at the front of our subdivision 2.5 blocks away. No streets to cross either way. Yes, I let son go there on 4 occassions -- 2 with other boys & 2 by himself. He takes his cell phone & is to call me when he gets there & when he leaves. It takes 3 MINUTES to ride back. I know -- we've times it.

I would just like to tell Ex- 'what happens at Mom's house STAYS at Mom's house'.... I am so sick of him trying to run MY time when I have Son I could SCREAM! Did I call Ex- up when I found out Son (at 8!) got a BB Gun for Xmas & voice my opinions of guns in general & how I wanted Ex- to get rid of it right away?!! No of course not, because he would have told me 'go to H**l." When Ex- got Son a dirt bike & lets him ride it on his property WITHOUT A HELMET did I tell him he couldn't allow that? No of course not. But THEY feel like they are FREE AND CLEAR to try to tell me what I should/should NOT be doing with Son. UGH!!! Just venting of course as there's no solution, unless Dad does me a favor & walks off the edge of the earth..... [/quote]

Really, what happens at each others house is both of your business as he is both of yours son. I know it can be hard sometimes, espcially as a NCP. But he has a right to know what is going on and you ceratinly do to.
_________________________
GO CUBBIES!!!!

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#229207 - 05/14/07 11:35 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: PhoenixRising]
Relayer Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
[quote]CI only ask because I have been on the receiving end of 22 child abuse charges. It is never fun.

On only one of them, I was found guilty: I made my child run around outside to calm down and he skinned his knee.

[/quote]

I was talking to my 6 year old daughter last night on the phone. She told me she fell on the sidewalk and skinned her knew and it had bled a little.

Should I call CPS and charge the ex with child abuse?

Running, you and I don't agree on much, but that charge against you was total BS. I can't believe it even went as far as it did or than it was even investigated. If CPS investogates every kids who scrapes their knee, they would need to use CSI....Child Scrape Inspectors
_________________________
GO CUBBIES!!!!

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#229208 - 05/15/07 12:39 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: PhoenixRising]
c_jane Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 1951
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
[quote] The no helmet while dirt biking is life threatening. How can you let that continue? Putting aside that your child could be severely injured; do you know that in case of injury, you could be held as equally guilty as your ex because you knew and did nothing about it?

If this is ongoing, write your GAL today! [/quote]

I have called the police. I was told since it was on private property nothing could be done. Just like on a farm/ranch you can let your kids drive a pick-up/tractor before they're of legal driving age. I did make the policeman write down my complaint so at least I have a record of it....

I live in a very safe subdivision in a semi-rural area. Ex- moved here first about 3.5 years ago to 'get away from the high crime area he lived in'. He picked this area because it WAS safe. I followed 13 months later & moved here also in the same subdivision.

Kids walk everywhere. My son rides his bike down the street to his friends' houses, & vice versa. People jog, walk their dogs, etc. all the time. I'm not saying crime CAN'T happen here, just that it's as safe as MOST subdivisions. Oh, it's also patrolled several times daily by an off-duty cop, paid for by the subdivision dues.

And son is not riding to McDonald's after dark! And NO, I'm not encouraging him to break his DAD'S rules--when at my house, he follows MY rules. What his DAD does at his house is up to him!

The GAL is the one that suggested that after son turned 10, 'she' would be OK with son riding the bus home to my house on the days I have him. Son 'loves' riding the bus.... gives him a sense of responsibility & he DOESN'T have to spend the time with SM!
_________________________
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.

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#229209 - 05/15/07 01:57 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
jil_stevens Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 08/01/06
Posts: 3893
So, are you talking about a motorized dirt bike without a helmet??? If so, I would talk with your son about the possible dangers...and get him a helmet.

Our youngest two ride dirt bikes, and they LOVE the helmets. Half the time we have to make them take them off because they put the helmet on before the rest of the gear. They are just like motorcycle helmets and the kids are thrilled, and mine are 10 and 11...yours might feel the same way.

Just a couple of weeks ago, SS10 steered into some soft sand and, at that age, of course they try to turn out and brake, all of which is wrong. So the bike went down and he went up, over the handle bars, flying through the air and landed straight on his head. He was uninjured...but only because of the helmet. I would talk with your son...given the way our two love their helmets, he might really enjoy wearing one as well, esp. if he gets to pick one out.

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#229210 - 05/15/07 02:22 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
PhoenixRising Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
The POLICE can't do anything about it. But the court can, the GAL can, CPS can...

That is like saying "Well, I took my son's broken arm to the neurologist and he couldn't do anything about it. So, I guess it is okay, with me"

Give me a break. This is your son's brains we are talking about...

If it was me, I would not send my child back to his father. Let him file for contempt and let him explain to the judge his poor parenting choices... I am fine w/being slapped on the wrist and being told I am overprotective..

It seems that you two are more into fighting with each other and no one is interested in the child...
_________________________
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato

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#229211 - 05/15/07 02:49 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: PhoenixRising]
c_jane Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 1951
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
Really?? How can we be fighting if we hardly ever talk to each other? When son's at my house, Dad calls, asks to talk to son, I put son on. I do NOT talk to Dad. It's counterproductive. The same thing happens when son is at Dad's house. I do NOT call to talk to Dad. I either send him a letter, return receipt requested, OR call my lawyer to call HIS lawyer. If I want to know what's going on with son's schooling & son can't fill me in, I email the teacher. The less I have to do with Ex- & SM the better off we all are. Then it DOESN'T put SON in the middle of 2 people that he loves, only ONE of which is using son to get back at the other person. After all, I am the NCP -- what MORE can Ex- do to me?!

[quote]It seems that you two are more into fighting with each other and no one is interested in the child... [/quote]
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#229212 - 05/15/07 03:19 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
PhoenixRising Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
I see.. So fighting through lawyers doesn't count as fighting?

You are both determined to "steal" time away from the other one. You are both planning new court dates...

Yeah! That qualifies you as "fighting"..

It just seems from your posts that your agendas are more important than your child; seeing as all you have are excuses as to why you haven't done more if your child is really being endangered while at your ex'z house...
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#229213 - 05/15/07 04:50 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: PhoenixRising]
googledad Offline
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Registered: 12/31/05
Posts: 10213
I'm sure everyone would be just as supportive if the NCP was male .
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#229214 - 05/15/07 05:09 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: googledad]
Runswithscissors Offline
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Registered: 05/30/04
Posts: 13394
Yes... .and there are MANY posts to support that statement.

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#229215 - 05/15/07 05:11 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
Runswithscissors Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 05/30/04
Posts: 13394
WHO the hell allows their child to ride a dirt bike without a helmet? I am SURE there are no large rocks, trees... or anything remotley dangerous around there.. right?

Gawd........

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#229216 - 05/15/07 05:15 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: Runswithscissors]
googledad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/31/05
Posts: 10213
Name one . Better yet , you know I love to research , bet I can't find any .
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#229217 - 05/15/07 05:19 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: Runswithscissors]
googledad Offline
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Registered: 12/31/05
Posts: 10213
BTW , I'm still waiting for any of the ladies here to complain that OP said " all men are scum of the Earth " .
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#229218 - 05/15/07 05:25 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: googledad]
googledad Offline
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Registered: 12/31/05
Posts: 10213
The great majority of male NCPs are told their petty concerns ( like OP's ) are not considered " a significant change in circumstances " and to deal with it . Anyone care to tell me in what state the wishes of a 12 year old are enough to overturn an existing custodial arrangement ?
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#229219 - 05/15/07 10:03 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: googledad]
Relayer Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
[quote]I'm sure everyone would be just as supportive if the NCP was male . [/quote]

Agree
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#229220 - 05/15/07 10:58 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
Tweeby Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/05/04
Posts: 7100
c_jane, are you not doing the same thing that you claim your ex is doing? How else would you know that son received a BB gun for Christmas, that he is riding a dirt bike without a helmet, that his older sister or SM is always watching him?

How would YOU know about a conversation that son had with Dad about spending an extra day with you? If you keep taking Dad to mediation, I would totally understand how Dad may have been told to follow the CO to the letter. That would mean if the CO says that you are to pick up/drop off than they will not drive. No extra time because if he does than it *may* be seen that he doesn't want the child as much as you do.

As for the baseball cap, I'm not sure but 10 yo who are in the 4th grade should have some responsibility. Why is it SM fault for not packing the cap?

Many of the things that you mention is a difference in parenting style. What I do NOT agree with is that you keep running to court or medication whenever it sounds like your son gets upset with his Dad or SM. Why would you encourage your son to disobey Dad by riding the bus to your home? If son is riding the bus and YOU say nothing about it eventhough you KNOW that son is not suppose to than YOU are encouraging it.

Remember there ARE two sides to every story. Have you ever thought that your son is "playing" both sides? He may be telling you what you want to hear, that is NOT uncommon especially since you and your ex do not talk.

BTW, for your own information, if you keep running to court with petty issues the court maynot believe anything you have to say. From my understanding, mediation is used to get the parties to agree to something after a motion has been filed with the court. Mediation is not court binding until a Judge signs off on it. So if you keep going to mediation but haven't been in front of a Judge, it seems that your filings may not have merit.

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#229221 - 05/15/07 11:29 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's hou [Re: yregna]
Redlegg Offline
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Registered: 10/06/06
Posts: 27903
Thats part of your anger problem, misdirection. Why are you not upset about the 3500 Americans that have died protecting you and your right to be stupid.

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#229222 - 05/15/07 11:29 AM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: googledad]
Runswithscissors Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 05/30/04
Posts: 13394
THERE are way many posts on this board where the FATHER is trying to gain custody of a child and WOMEN/MOTHERs help him. PERIOD.

Furthermore- I don't see "support". Look at PR's post, my post and Tweeby's post that have told the MOTHER she is doing exactly what the DAD is doing.

Get over yourself.

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#229223 - 05/15/07 01:32 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: googledad]
BeckaLeigh Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 6879
Loc: Texas
I'm not worried about a statement like that. My Dh is a very good man and everyone's opinins are based on their own situations. Now, X, on the other hand, is scum of the Earth. No, not really. He has his moments as we all do. But, women who have gone through certain situations and have SONS need to think before they say something like that.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

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#229224 - 05/15/07 01:36 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: BeckaLeigh]
Tweeby Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/05/04
Posts: 7100
I read the statement the same way, she wasn't generalizing but stating HER opinion.

I also agree that Moms with sons need to have a good attitude about men in general. The little boy is going to grow into a man one day.

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#229225 - 05/15/07 01:39 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's hou [Re: Redlegg]
BeckaLeigh Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 6879
Loc: Texas
I was wondering the same thing. i dont know yregna's story but he sounds like a very hateful person most of the time. And loves to have the kids hating mom. Sad. I hate my X at times, but would never encourage them to disrespect him.
_________________________
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

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#229226 - 05/15/07 02:38 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: Tweeby]
c_jane Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 1951
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
Ummmm, let me see if I can clear some misconceptions up. I have SEEN the BB gun when I went to pick up son after Xmas that one year & they were firing it in the backyard. SON asked me to come see it. I have SEEN the dirt bike in their garage when I picked son up & SON has told me he 'fell off the bike in the ditch & bumped his head because he did not have a helmet on." He DOES have a helmet because his dad's other son takes our son to the dirt bike track also to ride & they HAVE to wear a helmet there.

We went to mediation (the FIRST time since we divorced in '98) in April 2006. (So no, I haven't drug him back to mediation 'constantly'). Son had a GAL. I wanted more time; Dad was/is adamantly against it. Probably because his LAWYER has told him if he 'loses' any more time it could mean a reduction in CS, and Dad has TOLD family members (that I still talk to) that 'he doesn't know how they could pay their bills if they lost any of the CS I send them'.

In the mod. papers IT IS WRITTEN that son's wishes should be considered. It is written that he is to spend his school holidays with ME, not SM, because he was spending MOST of his time with SM, not either of his parents since Dad works 50 weeks/year & 60+hours each week, incl. Saturdays. The GAL did NOT think it was in son's best interest to spend his vacations/holidays/summer with SM and I agree. Esp. since I live 2 minutes away in the same SUBDIVISION (yes I moved to follow Ex- so I have been planning this for a while). AND I work for a school district so I only work 195 days/year & have off the same holidays/vacations.

It is also ORDERED in the mod. order that we go to mediation FIRST if we are in disagreement about something. I have no problem with that. I have been told by the mediator, the GAL, AND my lawyer that they ALL know Ex's lawyer and he DOES NOT mediate. His stock answer to everything is 'we'll see you in court'. He and Ex- belong together. They are both Jerks.

When son was a toddler I BEGGED Ex- to let me keep son during the summers/vacations when I was off (this was before SM quit her job) & I would do ALL the driving to get son & bring him back to Dad's during Dad's time. He refused. Telling me to my face that 'son was better off in daycare than with me and if he'd had his way I would NEVER even SEE son again.' This is a man looking out for his child's best interest?? He has even tried to get son to call SM 'mommy D' because he tells son "she's been more than a SM to you & I just don't like the name 'stepmom'." I have NEVER told son what he could/could not call SM -- he refused on his own. Son has & will continue to have a strong relationship with me.

The baseball cap thing was another poster.

Most recently son has been asking to spend MORE time with me. He already spends one night a week (per last year's mod order) & I put him on the bus for school the next morning. He REALLY wants to split week on/week off with each of us. Which would be fine with me, but of course not with Dad. So I talked to Dad about it & then he told son no, son could spend the AFTERNOON with me but not another night. SOn told me he asked Dad "But why? I want to spend another night with Mom. Why can't I?" and Dad said "Well, because I'm just considering your best interests. I'm just thinking of what's best for you." So son then asked "So how is spending the night at Mom's not what's best for me?" and he said Dad just sighed & walked out of the room. Because Ex- DOESN'T have an answer, except he wants to CONTROL me & he sees that control slowly slipping away as son gets more & more vocal. Son has asked ME to let him go back & talk to the GAL about what SON wants. I just have the money to do so.

And Dad can NOT tell son he is NOT to ride the bus to MY house, for MY court-ordered possession time, since my time is stated to start 'when school is dismissed, etc.' So I am NOT encouraging son to disobey Dad -- I would never do that. The GAL and my lawyer BOTH told me this in mediation. The GAL further stated that when my son was 10 'she would be OK' with him riding the bus to my house. So this has already been covered in detail. Dad just can't accept it. He's not 'in control' of the situation & that irks him.

And I'm sorry but I do NOT think son wanting to spend MORE time with me is a 'petty issue'. The original post was about DAD trying to tell ME what I SHOULD BE doing/not doing with Son on MY time. Which there is no solution to really. And the post I made about 'all men are scum' was directed at YERGNA as a DIG to what he said about MY POST. Really it was tongue-in-cheek so don't get your boxers/panties in a knot about that.

Finally, I live in Texas. In absence of abuse, criminal behavior, child molestation, etc. at TWELVE a child can sign an affidavit stating which parent s/he wishes to live with. The judge will confer with him/her, but unless it can be PROVEN not to be 'in the child's best interests' the judge will sign off on it. Or at least in the court we're in, which is what my lawyer and the GAL AND mediator told me.



[quote]c_jane, are you not doing the same thing that you claim your ex is doing? How else would you know that son received a BB gun for Christmas, that he is riding a dirt bike without a helmet, that his older sister or SM is always watching him?

How would YOU know about a conversation that son had with Dad about spending an extra day with you? If you keep taking Dad to mediation, I would totally understand how Dad may have been told to follow the CO to the letter. That would mean if the CO says that you are to pick up/drop off than they will not drive. No extra time because if he does than it *may* be seen that he doesn't want the child as much as you do.

As for the baseball cap, I'm not sure but 10 yo who are in the 4th grade should have some responsibility. Why is it SM fault for not packing the cap?

Many of the things that you mention is a difference in parenting style. What I do NOT agree with is that you keep running to court or medication whenever it sounds like your son gets upset with his Dad or SM. Why would you encourage your son to disobey Dad by riding the bus to your home? If son is riding the bus and YOU say nothing about it eventhough you KNOW that son is not suppose to than YOU are encouraging it.

Remember there ARE two sides to every story. Have you ever thought that your son is "playing" both sides? He may be telling you what you want to hear, that is NOT uncommon especially since you and your ex do not talk.

BTW, for your own information, if you keep running to court with petty issues the court maynot believe anything you have to say. From my understanding, mediation is used to get the parties to agree to something after a motion has been filed with the court. Mediation is not court binding until a Judge signs off on it. So if you keep going to mediation but haven't been in front of a Judge, it seems that your filings may not have merit. [/quote]
_________________________
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.

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#229227 - 05/15/07 03:29 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
Tweeby Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/05/04
Posts: 7100
Well lets see what you HAVE and have NOT said. Your 1st post:
[quote] From Ex I've gotten "I don't want Son to ride the bus to your house from the school. I want him to come here JUST LIKE HE'S ALWAYS DONE & SM can watch him & you can continue to pick him up from my house." Well, son IS riding the bus over Dad's objections. [/quote]

But now you say: [quote] And Dad can NOT tell son he is NOT to ride the bus to MY house, for MY court-ordered possession time, since my time is stated to start 'when school is dismissed, etc.' So I am NOT encouraging son to disobey Dad -- I would never do that. [/quote]

You 1st post SEEMS like you were having the child disobey Dad.

Next one about the BB gun and dirt bike. Your 1st post:
[quote]Did I call Ex- up when I found out Son (at 8!) got a BB Gun for Xmas & voice my opinions of guns in general & how I wanted Ex- to get rid of it right away?!! No of course not, because he would have told me 'go to H**l." When Ex- got Son a dirt bike & lets him ride it on his property WITHOUT A HELMET did I tell him he couldn't allow that? [/quote]

Your most recent post:
[quote] I have SEEN the BB gun when I went to pick up son after Xmas that one year & they were firing it in the backyard. SON asked me to come see it. I have SEEN the dirt bike in their garage when I picked son up & SON has told me he 'fell off the bike in the ditch & bumped his head because he did not have a helmet on." He DOES have a helmet because his dad's other son takes our son to the dirt bike track also to ride & they HAVE to wear a helmet there.
[/quote]

So you DO see and talk to your son about what happens at dad's house. Just as your ex MAY have seen or heard that you son was walking to McDonald's. So far you have NOT stated that your ex said ANYTHING to you about the child going to McDonalds alone, just that you son told you that he and his Dad TALKED about it.

In one of your posts you write:
[quote]And meantime, DAD is having to borrow from his retirement fund ever time I drag his sorry a** back to court. I have money saved up -- court's not costing me anything basically. So we'll go back to mediation every year son wants to until he's 12...... [/quote]

But NOW you state:
[quote]We went to mediation (the FIRST time since we divorced in '98) in April 2006. (So no, I haven't drug him back to mediation 'constantly') [/quote]

So which is it? have you been to court a few times or that you PLANNING on taking him back to court over and over until you get what you want?

IF you READ my post, I said:
[quote] [u]From my understanding[/u] , mediation is used to get the parties to agree to something after a motion has been filed with the court. Mediation is not court binding until a Judge signs off on it. So if you keep going to mediation but haven't been in front of a Judge, it seems that your filings may not have merit. [/quote]

I Stated "From my understanding" meaning that is HOW I understod it. It could be different and all you had to do was explain how it is with your CO. I have been on her for a while and personally, I have not heard where mediation was ordered before there was even a court filing. I could be wrong since I do not know about ALL places.

I would of had NO problem and most likely would totally agree with you on getting more time like 50/50 placement. But once you start to madmouth and say everything that your ex is doing wrong and how you KNOW your son will be with you at age 12, is when I started to pull apart everything YOU said.

Kids DO need both parents. Your posts, IMO, come across as someone who is VERY angry and will do anything to get custody of your child.

Edited to add:
You said, [quote]And the post I made about 'all men are scum' was directed at YERGNA as a DIG to what he said about MY POST. Really it was tongue-in-cheek so don't get your boxers/panties in a knot about that. [/quote]

I DID post about that:
[quote] read the statement the same way, she wasn't generalizing but stating HER opinion.

I also agree that Moms with sons need to have a good attitude about men in general. The little boy is going to grow into a man one day. [/quote]


Edited by Tweeby (05/15/07 03:31 PM)

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#229228 - 05/15/07 05:26 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's hou [Re: c_jane]
lifegoeson Offline
addict

Registered: 12/28/06
Posts: 415
Tell your son to wear his helmet, it should be a habit not to start the bike until the helmet is on. Same as a seatbelt in a car.
Do you want more time with son, so you can reduce CS?
As for the father stating he doesn't think it is in the best interest of the child to spend more time with you, well I'm sure he has his reasons, and maybe those reasons, (like maybe mom is off her rocker, bad mouths SM, or has different values than Dad) are reasons he doesn't think son needs to hear. Parents don't HAVE to give a child a reason for any of their decisions.
As for the bus issue, most schools do not allow kids to get off the bus here one day and there the next. Sounds to me like you don't like SM too much.
Judges will CONSIDER the child's wishes, doesn't mean it will happen.


Edited by lifegoeson (05/15/07 05:28 PM)
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#229229 - 05/15/07 05:47 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: Tweeby]
Runswithscissors Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 05/30/04
Posts: 13394
Tweeby.. gotta love ya..... but ya can't fix stupid! : )
I give you credit for trying though!!

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#229230 - 05/15/07 06:30 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's hou [Re: lifegoeson]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
Do you want more time with son, so you can reduce CS?

---> Why the f*ck does everyone ASSUME that JUST because a NCP wants more time with their child(ren), it can ONLY be to reduce child support?!?
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#229231 - 05/15/07 06:44 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's hou [Re: Gecko]
lifegoeson Offline
addict

Registered: 12/28/06
Posts: 415
Just a question, not an assumption.
My suggestion to Op is to encourage a better relationship between yourself and your ex. Since you are only a few blocks away from each other, I don't see why son couldn't go to mom's house to play or eat or just be with mom. It is only a bike ride away. Just seems to me there is SOMETHING that DAD doesn't trust about mom.
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#229232 - 05/15/07 06:46 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's hou [Re: Gecko]
lifegoeson Offline
addict

Registered: 12/28/06
Posts: 415
Just so you know, I am NCP, mom, and spend as much time with my child as she and I want. That is where getting along with the ex comes in. No change is support either.
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#229233 - 05/15/07 07:14 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's hou [Re: Gecko]
c_jane Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 1951
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
NO. I could AFFORD to still pay DAD the $700 +/month and HAVE son fulltime. But now why would THAT be fair?? The money is NOT the issue for me -- WHAT SON WANTS is. And yes, I will spend EVERY DIME I have left hauling Dad back to court to get what son wants. Which is more time with me. Son WANTS to spend 50/50 time with us. I want him to spend 50/50 time with us. DAD is the ONLY one having issues with it. WHY??!! Because he told me from the beginning ('97) that HE would NEVER pay CS -- and HE CAN'T AFFORD IT!!! He is also controlling, vindictive -- and KNOWS the only way he can 'get back at me' is through son. And son is gradually learning this too. And I do NOT have to say a THING -- I let Dad's actions speak for themselves.

And no, I don't particularly care for SM. She is bipolar (told me so herself) and frequently cusses son out and makes him cry. She also flies off the handle in other ways. He doesn't care for her much either. She also left Dad/son back last fall for 2 weeks because she was 'tired of dealing with son'. I had to convince son it wasn't 'his' fault because both she and DAD told him he was partly to blame. Because he wouldn't clean up his friggin' room when she told him to!!! Give me a break! So instead of telling him to get in there and clean it out, she packs her bags, has a screaming match with Dad, and leaves. This is all per Dad who actually TALKED to me, since he was in a bind & needed help gettting son to/from school because SM wasn't there. I was GLAD to step in. He didn't have a BIT of problem calling me when he had to take care of son by himself. So I can't be too bad, right?! I kept son several nights & got him to school when Dad couldn't because he leaves for work at 6AM and is gone 12 hours/day. I even offered to keep son on SAturdays so he could work Saturdays like he's REQUIRED to by his job. So don't say I don't try to work things out.

I make more than he does working less days. I have a Master's Degree. I am not married and own 1.5 houses (one shared with my Mom). I take time off from my job to go to son's field days, eat lunch with him once/month, and attend with him his fieldtrip. DAD has NEVER taken off ONE HOUR to go to a school function that I'm aware of. I am concerned with son's education. Son was recommended for the GT program & DAD refused to sign him in!! Said he didn't 'need' it. That he would be 'just fine' going to trade school like Dad did.

And I have sent letters to Dad requesting 50/50 time with son. And son has repeatedly asked Dad for more time with me. And Dad refuses. So yes, since it's in the mod. order that son's wishes will be 'considered' and I don't think they are, we WILL go back to mediation. That's what it's for. And they WON'T take time away from me that I already have, unless they could prove abuse or that I'm doing something detrimental to son. And I'm NOT!! I just want Dad to leave MY time with son ALONE...

But once again, I realize there IS no solution to changing Dad -- he will never be anything but what he is now.



[quote]Do you want more time with son, so you can reduce CS?

---> Why the f*ck does everyone ASSUME that JUST because a NCP wants more time with their child(ren), it can ONLY be to reduce child support?!? [/quote]
_________________________
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.

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#229234 - 05/15/07 07:27 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's hou [Re: c_jane]
lifegoeson Offline
addict

Registered: 12/28/06
Posts: 415
How did Dad get custody?
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#229235 - 05/15/07 07:39 PM Re: What happens at Mom's house Stays at Mom's house!! [Re: c_jane]
PhoenixRising Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
“Finally, I live in Texas. In absence of abuse, criminal behavior, child molestation, etc. at TWELVE a child can sign an affidavit stating which parent s/he wishes to live with. The judge will confer with him/her, but unless it can be PROVEN not to be 'in the child's best interests' the judge will sign off on it. Or at least in the court we're in, which is what my lawyer and the GAL AND mediator told me.”

This is only partially true.. Either someone is jerking your chain OR you are hearing only what you want to hear.

I AM not from Texas SO I have no idea. I googled the Texas Family Code and the appellate case law. Below is the TEXAS FAMILY CODE; you are referring to.

Here is my take; perhaps someone from TX could chime in and add their 2cents…

The first bar that must be met is the “significant change of circumstances”. From my perusal of appeal cases; the state does not “usually” take your move into the neighborhood as a “significant change”.

From what I have read so far there must be a “significant change” before the affidavit is considered. In addition, the change must have taken place since the last court appearance.

I am not saying that all your circumstances together are not enough to force a modification.

It seems historically the courts are more likely to increase your visitation (if there is any basis) rather than overturn custody.

Just saying that it isn’t the slam-dunk that you are assuming. Given the grilling and acrimony that your son is exposed to; it might not be seen as in his best interests.

Are there any changes that occurred that would give the court reason to re-consider you for primary custody?


TEXAS FAMILY CODE


CHAPTER 156. MODIFICATION


SUBCHAPTER A. GENERAL PROVISIONS

§ 156.101. GROUNDS FOR MODIFICATION OF ORDER ESTABLISHING
CONSERVATORSHIP OR POSSESSION AND ACCESS. The court may modify an
order that provides for the appointment of a conservator of a child,
that provides the terms and conditions of conservatorship, or that
provides for the possession of or access to a child if modification
would be in the best interest of the child and:
(1) the circumstances of the child, a conservator, or
other party affected by the order have materially and substantially
changed since the earlier of:
(A) the date of the rendition of the order; or
(B) the date of the signing of a mediated or
collaborative law settlement agreement on which the order is based;
(2) the child is at least 12 years of age and has filed
with the court, in writing, the name of the person who is the
child's preference to have the exclusive right to designate the
primary residence of the child; or
(3) the conservator who has the exclusive right to
designate the primary residence of the child has voluntarily
relinquished the primary care and possession of the child to
another person for at least six months.

Added by Acts 1995, 74th Leg., ch. 20, § 1, eff. April 20, 1995.
Amended by Acts 1995, 74th Leg., ch. 751, § 47, eff. Sept. 1,
1995; Acts 1999, 76th Leg., ch. 1390, § 16, eff. Sept. 1, 1999;
Acts 2001, 77th Leg., ch. 1289, § 5, eff. Sept. 1, 2001; Acts
2003, 78th Leg., ch. 1036, § 19, eff. Sept. 1, 2003.

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