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#229871 - 05/15/07 09:12 PM Can the Cp lose custody if.....
theneeddd Offline
journeyman

Registered: 05/05/07
Posts: 86
Loc: MONTGOMERY ,ALABAMA
Three weeks ago my Ex took me back to court by claiming that I often call upon my thirteen year old son to babysit my two toddlers which are 2 & 3.This was a false allegation by her to try and stop paying child support.When her lawyer tried to submit this false information the judge denied it along with a lot of other documents that she and her lawyer didn't bring forth at the deposition.After the hearing was over her lawyer attempted to get the judge to appoint an guardian at-litem.The judge said"I don't see a need for a guardian at-litem ,you had ample time to present your case consel".The hearing was set for one hour 30 min for her and 30 min for me,her and her lawyer took up 45 minutes and only left me 15.I am a member of the PTA and am definitely about my business with the two boys we had together they have lived with me for all their lives except one year(the year we separated)she sees the children every other weekend and six months in the summer.The guidance counsler from the school was present and when my lawyer tried to call her to testify the judge said "that lady doesn't have to testify were done here".My Ex lost the children because of the violence from an abusive relationship with a 22 year old gang banger,sometimes shots were fired at the house where my kids lived,my ex's 3 year old daughter(which was concieved during our marriage by another guy) was molested I had to do something....I didn't want them exposed to this behavior.There was just so much going on.they were being evicted at least three times a yearfor DV CHARGES.What I don't understand is why the judge wouldn't let the school official testify......and what are the chances of me keeping custody?They also found out she has been withholding $400 extra dollars a month in income.

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#229872 - 05/15/07 09:29 PM Re: Can the Cp lose custody if.....please help [Re: theneeddd]
theneeddd Offline
journeyman

Registered: 05/05/07
Posts: 86
Loc: MONTGOMERY ,ALABAMA
please

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#229873 - 05/15/07 10:12 PM Re: Can the Cp lose custody if..... [Re: theneeddd]
googledad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 12/31/05
Posts: 10213
It doesn't sound like you have anything to worry about , seems the ex couldn't prove her case and the judge decided he/she had heard enough .
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#229874 - 05/15/07 10:14 PM Re: Can the Cp lose custody if.....please help [Re: theneeddd]
lifegoeson Offline
addict

Registered: 12/28/06
Posts: 415
The Judge didn't NEED the school counselor to testify, had apparently heard enough to make a decision. No need to waste more of the courts time. You got custody, so SLIM chance you would LOOSE custody, at least no time soon, and not with-out a HUGE change of circumstance. So just breath.

As for your older child watching the younger ones, I wouldn't sweat that. First, the child is 13, plenty old enough, and legal age (at least in my state) to babysit his younger SIBLINGS. If he is responsible and kind to his younger siblings, why shouldn't he? You are all a family and need each other. You are showing your son responsibility as well as the importance of family. You have a long road ahead of you, I wish you and yours the best.
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Stand up for what you believe in, even if you are standing alone.

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#229875 - 05/15/07 10:59 PM Re: Can the Cp lose custody if..... [Re: theneeddd]
supermansdaisy Offline
addict

Registered: 04/25/07
Posts: 658
Loc: SC
Like the other posters have said, I don't think you will lose custody. The judge doesn't have time for nonsense allegations, and it looks like he just didn't need to hear anymore. I he didn't see the need to appoint a GAL, then you are fine.

I know you will still worry, and that's natural. I don't see, however, how she has a chance at all.

Also, there is nothing wrong with a 13 year old babysitting. Nothing at all.
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#229876 - 05/15/07 11:40 PM Re: Can the Cp lose custody if..... [Re: supermansdaisy]
Relayer Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
[quote]Also, there is nothing wrong with a 13 year old babysitting. Nothing at all. [/quote]

Not true. It depends on the state. In Illinois, it's 14. If under 14, the parent is liable to be charged with neglect. I know it might sound silly, but its true. I know some states imply that it depends on the child..maturity..from what I have read, only Ilinois and Maryland have specific ages, but who knows. I DO know Illinois is 14 though. That is the age a child can be left alone without parental supervision, which translates across to baby sitting.

I know a lot of 16 year olds I dont trust alone and a lot of 12 year olds that I do trust.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!

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#229877 - 05/15/07 11:46 PM Re: Can the Cp lose custody if..... [Re: Relayer]
Dee78 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/05
Posts: 11820
Loc: TN
In TN the law isn't clear. It just depends on the maturity of the child. My coworkers 12 year old son watches her 8 and 4 year old sons.

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#229878 - 05/16/07 12:33 AM Re: Can the Cp lose custody if..... [Re: Dee78]
Relayer Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
[quote]In TN the law isn't clear. It just depends on the maturity of the child. My coworkers 12 year old son watches her 8 and 4 year old sons. [/quote]

Then you also have the fact that a 12 year old watching a 4 year..personally, I think thats too young..ONLY because of the 4 year old..I would be ok with a 12 year old watch a 7-8-9-10 year old..4 just seems too young for a 12 year old to handle.

I do know some states have laws regarding the length of time too..such as evening versus overnight..no way a 12 year old overnight..I might even have a problem at 16..depends on the kid. I DO think if the babysitter was 10 though, it would be a problem in any state. The laws all tie to the age the state determines the "babysitter" has cognative ability to understand a crimminal act (or something like that) and most states, thats like 12.

Right now, I know for a fact my little ones (4 and 6) are being left alone overnight with a 13 year old and I bring it up in my custody/visitation petition I just filed. Not in a vindictive way really. I just want the ex to drop the kids off with me (we live 2 miles from each other) rather than her leaving them with her boyfirends daughter all night (which she does).

Another problem though is by the time someone is the age where most people they are totally responsible (like 16+), those kids have jobs at the Mall or where ever.

Personally, 12 would be fine (unless the kid is a knucklehead)and the kids being watched are 7 and above for regular 2-3 hours while Mom and Dad go out to dinner or something. Overnight, it would have to be 16. Same with younger than 6.

It's just common sense.
_________________________
GO CUBBIES!!!!

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#229879 - 05/16/07 12:37 AM Re: Can the Cp lose custody if..... [Re: Relayer]
4yroldmom Offline
newbie

Registered: 10/09/05
Posts: 40
I was 10 the first time I babysat and I got paid by a bank to do it while the mother worked there. I don't think there will be a problem. Like they have said in other posts. The judge heard enough and you are good.

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#229880 - 05/16/07 01:28 AM Re: Can the Cp lose custody if..... [Re: theneeddd]
PhoenixRising Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
Oh, I SO know the feeling and I comiserate !!!

I appealed a child abuse charge.. At the hearing, the CPS official testified forever. I got to speak for a few minutes and the judge cut me off and said "we are done here"...

WTH! I didn't breath for the 6wks it took them to mail the decision...

It was just as the other posters said. CPS had no case. There was no need for me to testify or to hear my witnesses.

It would have been nice if the judge had come out and said it. But I guess things aren't done that way...

Just breathe. Unfortunately, your ex sounds like a real winner; this is probably not the last time she will drag you into court...

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