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#241022 - 06/07/07 06:28 PM New here ..with serious issues
HeatherNicolems Offline
recently joined

Registered: 06/07/07
Posts: 17
I have been with my Husband for 12 years ,he has recently gotten better ,but after years of abuse and violence ,and drinking ,I just dont love him anymore.I had my friend who is a lawyer write something for me to take to court ...I want to file for divorce ,also I want to move away from here,so he cant find me ,I am attaching the document that tells my story ,please whoever has time to read it ,let me know what you think and if I could take the kids to another state to start over .Thanks

Here is the document :I have known Drew for most of my life .We went to church together as kids and grew up in the same community .We started dating when I was 15 . The day after our first date ,he came to my house to bring me flowers .I was not home ,I had gone with friends on a ski trip that I had been planning for weeks .He called me crying ,because I had gone somewhere without him .After that ,he started staying at my house almost all day ,and into the night .He was completley somthering me .I told him that I needed a break ,he cried .It made me feel so guilty ,so I just let it go at that .I did not want to hurt his feelings .

soon there after ,I lost most of my friends because he did not want me to go anywhere with them ,and alot of my friends were male ,which he did not like at all .He was very mean to them and would make them leave when they came over .All the while ,telling me how much he loved me (he started telling me that after only 3 days of knowing me ) I told him he did not know me ,and he couldnt possibly love me .I thought it was crazy ,but for some reason ( I guess the guilt ) I felt trapped .

I was in high school ,I believe it was 11th grade ,when one of my ex boyfriends transferred to my school .Drew left me at school that day (he was my only ride home ) He told me that I needed to change schools if my ex was going to be at school with me .a few days after that ,he told me that he had sat across the road from my ex's house with a gun pointed at him when he was sitting outside .I thought he was kidding .

Not long after that we got engaged .I ended up pregnant at 17 .after the baby was born we moved into a house together .I was not sure at this point that I wanted to marry him ,but things went ok for awhile ,and I felt it was the right thing to do because we had a child together .about a week after we were married ,he was "playing " and punched me so hard in the leg that I could hardly walk for days .He would throw things and break things ,I remamber being on my hands and knees picking up broken glass .

When Jakab was 8 months old ,we got into a bad argument and he was becoming violent ,so I tried to leave .He hid my keys from me .when I found them ( in the freezer ) I made my way out to my car (holding my son ) Drew ran out and punched the windshield and broke it so I couldnt see to drive .I started to walk away and he grabbed me and left a large bruise on my arm .

About a year went by ,and things were ok .Then He started drinking alot ,and he would rage and punch and kick holes in the walls .I couldnt work because he said "you might meet someone " .He always told me that he would kill himself if I ever left him .When we would argue ,he would always threaten violence towards himself .He would come into the room where I was holding a loaded gun and saying "How would you like to see my brains splattered on the wall ? " I could not leave the house without being interrogated "who looked at you ,Talked to you ""did anyone flirt with you "
When I was about 6 months pregnant with our second child ,he was unemployed (as usual ) and he wanted me to call the mortgage company to tell them I would be late on the payment .I was sitting on the couch reading ,and I told him he made the mess and he could call and explain it to them .He grabbed me by the leg and pulled me off the couch then picked me up and threw me on the floor .

The drinking continued ,and became worse over time .Soon he was drinking everyday ,when he was working ,he would go to work drunk at times .we moved to Magnolia in 2004.He would get mad and break my computer ,and things that were sentimental to me .Once he actually lifted a large chair over his head and tried to throw it threw the window .
He found out that I was talking to someone that he didnt want me talking to ,started raging ,poured hot coffee in my lap threw me across the room ,when I hit the wall ,he grabbed me again and threw me into the kitchen .He left the room at that point and came back with a loaded .38 special .He was pointing it at me .I dont know what stopped him from pulling the trigger .He left then ,but returned that night ,I had fallen asleep on the floor in front of the TV in the living room .I awoke to see him staning over me ,he picked up his foot and held it over my face saying that he was going to "stomp my head " It was 2 in the morning ,I grabbed my kids and tried to get out of the house ,he climbed on top of my SUV so I count leave ,I ran back in the house ,and locked him out .I knew I still nedded to leave ,so I waited awhile ,then opened to front door to see if he had gone ,he ran theough the door as soon as I opened it ,and held a gun to my head ,as soon as he let me go ,I ran outside ,he grabbed me and slammed my head into the brick wall .My daughter comes outside crying ,saying daddy is mean etc .he shows her the gun ,he says "its not loaded ,I promise ...Look I will show you " He pulled the trigger and the gun went off ,it was indeed loaded .

The next incident that I remember was in October 2004 .we had gone out with friends ,and he had gotten mad at a man for flirting with me .he wanted to leave ,so when I got in the car he was driving very fast ,and recklessly at speeds of about 90-95 MPH .I didnt say much other than "whats wrong ?" he did not respond .He drove to a very remote area ,and turned down a gravel road ,I tried to get out of the car when he slowed down ,but he would grab ny hair and pull me back in .I finally made it out of the car and started running through the woods ,he was right behind me ,and pushed me down on the ground and drug me down the road by my arms .I was lying in the road and he built a fire right next to me ,I was terrified ,I couldnt move .he got into the car and acted like he was going to run over me .Then he came back to me (still lying on the ground ) and pulled me up by my shirt and hit me so hard in the face that I had petichi all the way down to my shoulder,I could not open my mouth for days ,my whole face was black and blue .I had my cell phone in my pocket and I just pushed the redial button when he wasnt looking ,I didnt even care who was on the other end ,I just knew I needed help .It was my friend Dehna ,I started screaming he is going to kill me .She came and found where I was ,and he took off in the car .she took me to his parents house to get my car so I could leave .when we pulled in the drive at his parents he tore in the other end of the driveway .I jusmped out of the car ran inside his parents house and locked myself in the bathroom .He came after me ,throwing me around the bathroom ,his dad tried to stop him and he pulled a knife on him .the police came ,it was one deputy and he told Drew "it is never good to hit a woman ,if you are going to do that then you need to come on the jail with me " Drew replied " I am going to go cut her up into little pieces ,and put her in the bathtub ,then you can come back and arrest me later " they BOTH were laughing about what he had said .But I was standing behind Drew and I saw that he had a large knife in his back pocket .

After that he would get really drunk and mad ,we were in the car and I was driving ,and he didnt want to throw out his beer ,so he got mad and started raging again ,not making much sense and jumped out of my car ( I was driving about 55 MPH ) I can still hear my kids screaming from the backseat .But he went on to do that two other times .Once he actually busted the back of his head from hitting the pavement ,and another time he climbed out the window whiole I was driving and somehow climbed onto the windshield and fell threw ,causing me to wreck .

After we seperated ,he tried to use the kids against me,he would not bring them home on time ,and when I came to pick then up at his house he would not let me get them ,he would start a fight and threaten me by saying that he was going to get custody and that he would put drugs in my house and say that I had hit the kids and that I was crazy.It like he devoted all his time to harassing me ,calling and stalking me ,climbing in the window at night after he had cut the phone line ,hiding under my house ,threatening to set my house on fire ,or my car on fire .And saying that if he ever saw me with another man that he would kill both of us .

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#241023 - 06/07/07 07:28 PM Re: New here ..with serious issues [Re: HeatherNicolems]
Relayer Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
Does the guy your are moving in with know that your husbnad has said he will kill him?
_________________________
GO CUBBIES!!!!

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#241024 - 06/08/07 11:54 AM Re: New here ..with serious issues [Re: Relayer]
HeatherNicolems Offline
recently joined

Registered: 06/07/07
Posts: 17
there is no guy that I am moving in with ...I Just know from experience that I have to go far away ,my H tells me that he will hire a PI to track me down and I am just scared .And I cant afford to but a house right now .and I know there would be no child support at all .I am just worried about my kifds ,I have lived through this insanity and have survived ,I am just scared .I cant staay here ,last time he left ,he cut my phone line ,and climbed in the window ,he didnt know that the womens shelter had given me an emergency cell phone ,and I dialed 911,and he was gone before the cops got here .They told me to go press charges ,but as my husband says "are the cops gonna be your bodyguard when I get out of jail?"

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#241025 - 06/09/07 01:04 AM Re: New here ..with serious issues [Re: HeatherNicolems]
Relayer Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
You said you wanted to mmove in with a guy 1000 miles away
_________________________
GO CUBBIES!!!!

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#241026 - 06/19/07 05:21 AM Re: New here ..with serious issues [Re: HeatherNicolems]
BeckaLeigh Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 6879
Loc: Texas
And who is going to be your children's bodyguards if he kills you? Him? When he has no one else to control, he may well turn to the kids. if you dont want to prosecute him, and you want to live like this, go ahead. But, at least have the sense to take the kids out of the equation as much as possible. In my honest opinion, from reading a few of your posts, I dont think either of you need to be raising kids.
_________________________
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

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#241027 - 08/12/11 08:34 PM Re: New here ..with serious issues [Re: BeckaLeigh]
maimai Offline

recently joined

Registered: 08/12/11
Posts: 10
This is an awful story. Your poor babies are doomed to a life of violence and abuse, both ways. Please get away from that man and call the police everyday that you see him do ANYTHING with the kids nearby. Then take him to court, often. Your babies deserve better, not that clown.

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