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#33253 - 09/27/05 09:05 PM husband moved out but still comes & goes- legal?
one_angry_chic Offline
recently joined

Registered: 09/27/05
Posts: 2
Loc: Alabama
I am in Alabama. My husband moved out 2 months ago and stated he wanted a divorce. He hasn't filed or made any legal move. He still comes and goes to our home freely and stays there when I'm out of town for work. He has moved all of his clothes and every day things out. We are both still paying the mortgage together. Does he have the right to come in and stay, go through my things, etc. when he's the one that moved out??? I want to change the locks but don't want this to hurt me when we go to court...any ideas?
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Marriage is like a box of chocolates, you NEVER know what your gonna get! Forrest Gump

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#33254 - 09/28/05 04:06 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- legal? [Re: one_angry_chic]
Rebecca5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
He has the right to do whatever he wants until a judge says he can't. I wouldn't get into the lock-changing thing. He has just as much right to change the locks back when you aren't home.

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#33255 - 09/28/05 04:13 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- legal? [Re: one_angry_chic]
allison Offline
newbie

Registered: 09/24/05
Posts: 44
Loc: So Cal
The question is, do you want to stay married to him?

This guy doesnt want a divorce. Let me rephrase that...this guy doesnt want the inconveniences of a divorce.
He seems to want the benefits, tho.

He should not ever be in what is now your home. The day he moved his things out is the date of separation. If you file for divorce first, your declaration of that will likely hold, if not, he can set that date. Are you sure he hasn't filed? Check a local superior court website - probably something like Superior Court of Alabama/(whatever county).al/gov - you can look up all sorts of things, including civil, domestic, criminal and probate cases in your county - takes about 48 hours to post, once a lawsuit is filed. He may already have.

Try to document your financial activities since the day he moved out - everything is retroactive to that date. This guy is calculating, you should be too - but not in his way - in a self-protective way, for you and any kids you may have. DONT tell him your comings and goings - THAT one is on you. Trust your gut - you're asking for help, I think you already have some of your answers, my dear.

Do your best to keep a record, spendings, income, diary of feelings and goings on - the worst that can happen is that things work out and you throw it away. But you will still learn something either way.

I don't know...the day someone tells me he doesn't want to be with me is the day I hope he finds someone that does so I can move on and he will not waste any of my precious life....sadly most (of them )dont know what they want or want the best of both - like your's and wont play it staight and respectful

So decide for yourself if his behavior is acceptable and stop waiting for him to decide for YOU - kapish? Change the frickin locks and call the cops if he tries to break in - It will NEVER hurt you in court if you protect yourself!!!
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Its always darkest just before it goes pitch black" - www.despair.com

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#33256 - 10/02/05 12:57 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: allison]
Pete Offline
member

Registered: 12/30/04
Posts: 132
Absent of a court order otherwise, he can come and go as he pleases. You can change the locks, but he can legally break into a residence he owns and is still considered to be the marital home.
_________________________
Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking.

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#33257 - 10/19/05 09:10 PM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: Pete]
goldilox Offline
newbie

Registered: 08/03/05
Posts: 28
Loc: MI
Get him to sign the change of address form from the post office and go file for a divorce. Get the ball rolling and don't wait on him. After you have things started, change the locks. Do what you need to to take care of you, he obviously won't.
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Careful what you wish for, you just might get it!

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#33258 - 11/02/05 06:39 PM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: goldilox]
Shannon36 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 10/31/05
Posts: 21
I am in the same boat as you, my ex moved out over a year ago, he pays the morgage in lew of child support, well this was fine for awhile, but I have to pay ALL other expences like taxes, house ins, everything that is for the house, even the pool, I pay it all. He even let some Ahole put things into my garage for the winter cause he has to be a good friend, yet cant be a good husband or father! I know I should of said no, but that would have started a whole other war that I am not strong enought to fight! But today I called a paralegal to start the ball going, I've had enough, he wants to hurt me, I'm going to stop being a pushover and be the [censored] that he's been calling me! I've asked for help from his mom, who is "religious" and thought I would get the help from her, but NOOOO I got stabbed in the back saying I'm only bringing up the problem that I had with his because I seen a girl in his car, im like its has nothing todo with a girl it has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that my girls were in the car, how pathetic or what. so now I know I'm all alone in this fight and right now I'm going to fight like theres no end, I know I sound bitter, its because I am, 18years of wasted time with someone who now tells me he never loved me, but yet screwed me daily and had two kids with, freaking Ahole! O kIm done with my going on about it, GET A LAWYER and start the ball! DOnt waste another second and this creep who's a USER! YOU deserve better!

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#33259 - 12/04/05 12:56 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: Shannon36]
Pete Offline
member

Registered: 12/30/04
Posts: 132
You cannot change the locks on the property or withhold his entry provided his name is on the deed or title to the residence until a court order says that you have sole occupancy of the home. If you were to change the locks, and a court order did not prohibit his entry, he could effectively break in, or change the locks himself without penalty as he remains an owner of said residence. the fact that he moved out does not change his rights to the property, however, would make it fairly easy to get the sole occupancy order in your favor once you file for divorce.

Again, you cannot simply change the locks because he moved out as that absent a court order does not legally prevent him from entering the home without your permission.
_________________________
Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking.

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#33260 - 12/08/05 12:49 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: Pete]
un42n8 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/07/05
Posts: 8
Throw a TRO on him. Make up any reason, the cops always believe the woman. Poor schmuck. But aren't we all.

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#33261 - 12/08/05 01:25 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: un42n8]
Pete Offline
member

Registered: 12/30/04
Posts: 132
"Throw a TRO on him. Make up any reason, the cops always believe the woman. Poor schmuck. But aren't we all."

This is exactly the kind of moronic thought process that ruins lives for no good reason. I assume you were being sarcastic, since you are correct...

the old naked man dilemma...

If a woman on a sidewalk sees a man naked through his window...who gets arrested

If a man on a sidewalk sees a woman naked through her window...who gets arrested

Yep, the guy...in both cases. The always dubious double standard of our fine legal system.
_________________________
Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking.

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#33262 - 12/09/05 06:25 PM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: un42n8]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
This is the kind of crap that makes it hard for people who really NEED a restraining order to get one!
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!

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