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#33253 - 09/27/05 09:05 PM husband moved out but still comes & goes- legal?
one_angry_chic Offline
recently joined

Registered: 09/27/05
Posts: 2
Loc: Alabama
I am in Alabama. My husband moved out 2 months ago and stated he wanted a divorce. He hasn't filed or made any legal move. He still comes and goes to our home freely and stays there when I'm out of town for work. He has moved all of his clothes and every day things out. We are both still paying the mortgage together. Does he have the right to come in and stay, go through my things, etc. when he's the one that moved out??? I want to change the locks but don't want this to hurt me when we go to court...any ideas?
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Marriage is like a box of chocolates, you NEVER know what your gonna get! Forrest Gump

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#33254 - 09/28/05 04:06 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- legal? [Re: one_angry_chic]
Rebecca5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
He has the right to do whatever he wants until a judge says he can't. I wouldn't get into the lock-changing thing. He has just as much right to change the locks back when you aren't home.

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#33255 - 09/28/05 04:13 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- legal? [Re: one_angry_chic]
allison Offline
newbie

Registered: 09/24/05
Posts: 44
Loc: So Cal
The question is, do you want to stay married to him?

This guy doesnt want a divorce. Let me rephrase that...this guy doesnt want the inconveniences of a divorce.
He seems to want the benefits, tho.

He should not ever be in what is now your home. The day he moved his things out is the date of separation. If you file for divorce first, your declaration of that will likely hold, if not, he can set that date. Are you sure he hasn't filed? Check a local superior court website - probably something like Superior Court of Alabama/(whatever county).al/gov - you can look up all sorts of things, including civil, domestic, criminal and probate cases in your county - takes about 48 hours to post, once a lawsuit is filed. He may already have.

Try to document your financial activities since the day he moved out - everything is retroactive to that date. This guy is calculating, you should be too - but not in his way - in a self-protective way, for you and any kids you may have. DONT tell him your comings and goings - THAT one is on you. Trust your gut - you're asking for help, I think you already have some of your answers, my dear.

Do your best to keep a record, spendings, income, diary of feelings and goings on - the worst that can happen is that things work out and you throw it away. But you will still learn something either way.

I don't know...the day someone tells me he doesn't want to be with me is the day I hope he finds someone that does so I can move on and he will not waste any of my precious life....sadly most (of them )dont know what they want or want the best of both - like your's and wont play it staight and respectful

So decide for yourself if his behavior is acceptable and stop waiting for him to decide for YOU - kapish? Change the frickin locks and call the cops if he tries to break in - It will NEVER hurt you in court if you protect yourself!!!
_________________________
Its always darkest just before it goes pitch black" - www.despair.com

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#33256 - 10/02/05 12:57 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: allison]
Pete Offline
member

Registered: 12/30/04
Posts: 132
Absent of a court order otherwise, he can come and go as he pleases. You can change the locks, but he can legally break into a residence he owns and is still considered to be the marital home.
_________________________
Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking.

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#33257 - 10/19/05 09:10 PM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: Pete]
goldilox Offline
newbie

Registered: 08/03/05
Posts: 28
Loc: MI
Get him to sign the change of address form from the post office and go file for a divorce. Get the ball rolling and don't wait on him. After you have things started, change the locks. Do what you need to to take care of you, he obviously won't.
_________________________
Careful what you wish for, you just might get it!

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#33258 - 11/02/05 06:39 PM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: goldilox]
Shannon36 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 10/31/05
Posts: 21
I am in the same boat as you, my ex moved out over a year ago, he pays the morgage in lew of child support, well this was fine for awhile, but I have to pay ALL other expences like taxes, house ins, everything that is for the house, even the pool, I pay it all. He even let some Ahole put things into my garage for the winter cause he has to be a good friend, yet cant be a good husband or father! I know I should of said no, but that would have started a whole other war that I am not strong enought to fight! But today I called a paralegal to start the ball going, I've had enough, he wants to hurt me, I'm going to stop being a pushover and be the [censored] that he's been calling me! I've asked for help from his mom, who is "religious" and thought I would get the help from her, but NOOOO I got stabbed in the back saying I'm only bringing up the problem that I had with his because I seen a girl in his car, im like its has nothing todo with a girl it has EVERYTHING to do with the fact that my girls were in the car, how pathetic or what. so now I know I'm all alone in this fight and right now I'm going to fight like theres no end, I know I sound bitter, its because I am, 18years of wasted time with someone who now tells me he never loved me, but yet screwed me daily and had two kids with, freaking Ahole! O kIm done with my going on about it, GET A LAWYER and start the ball! DOnt waste another second and this creep who's a USER! YOU deserve better!

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#33259 - 12/04/05 12:56 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: Shannon36]
Pete Offline
member

Registered: 12/30/04
Posts: 132
You cannot change the locks on the property or withhold his entry provided his name is on the deed or title to the residence until a court order says that you have sole occupancy of the home. If you were to change the locks, and a court order did not prohibit his entry, he could effectively break in, or change the locks himself without penalty as he remains an owner of said residence. the fact that he moved out does not change his rights to the property, however, would make it fairly easy to get the sole occupancy order in your favor once you file for divorce.

Again, you cannot simply change the locks because he moved out as that absent a court order does not legally prevent him from entering the home without your permission.
_________________________
Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking.

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#33260 - 12/08/05 12:49 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: Pete]
un42n8 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/07/05
Posts: 8
Throw a TRO on him. Make up any reason, the cops always believe the woman. Poor schmuck. But aren't we all.

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#33261 - 12/08/05 01:25 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: un42n8]
Pete Offline
member

Registered: 12/30/04
Posts: 132
"Throw a TRO on him. Make up any reason, the cops always believe the woman. Poor schmuck. But aren't we all."

This is exactly the kind of moronic thought process that ruins lives for no good reason. I assume you were being sarcastic, since you are correct...

the old naked man dilemma...

If a woman on a sidewalk sees a man naked through his window...who gets arrested

If a man on a sidewalk sees a woman naked through her window...who gets arrested

Yep, the guy...in both cases. The always dubious double standard of our fine legal system.
_________________________
Integrity is doing the right thing when no one is looking.

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#33262 - 12/09/05 06:25 PM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: un42n8]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
This is the kind of crap that makes it hard for people who really NEED a restraining order to get one!
_________________________
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!

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#33263 - 01/03/06 02:00 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: goldilox]
sandytwo Offline
recently joined

Registered: 01/02/06
Posts: 17
Loc: Oklahoma
In and of itself, this is good advice. But don't be caught up in making more work for yourself, as I did. My divorce was final in June, 2004. In October, 2001, my xh moved out of my home and I insisted (as you have suggested) that he submit a change-of-address form at our post office...which he did. Now it is January, 2006, AND HIS MAIL HAS, ONCE AGAIN, BEEN COMING HERE EVER SINCE THE ORIGINAL SIX MONTH TIME PERIOD ELAPSED! The man never notified each individual person or business that his address had changed.

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#33264 - 01/03/06 06:17 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: sandytwo]
thebeargirl Offline
recently joined

Registered: 01/03/06
Posts: 4
Loc: Indiana
At least file for a legal separation until you figure things out, then he can't come and go as he pleases, or go through your things.
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Thank you beary much

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#33265 - 01/03/06 08:50 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: Gecko]
WickedStepMom Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 23
I think you need to file for a divorce ASAP! How dare he think he can come and go as he pleases! If he's taken his s*&t out of the house, there is a good reason why he hasn't moved out completely and I'd guess it's because the 'other woman' hasn't invited him in!
Protect yourself, get a separation order and boot this MoFo outathehouse!!!

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#33266 - 02/15/06 02:16 PM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: WickedStepMom]
needy Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 01/18/06
Posts: 312
divorces can take several years to complete so besides filing right away, call a realtor and get a house appraisal right away, maybe two.
It is important to get this now as this will be the appraisal courts will use to divide the property cost. if you don't get it now and the property goes up between now and the divorce than you will have to give him additional money based on that appraisal. The difference can be consideral. File the divorce and than change the locks once he has been served and yes, it is good to check to see if he has filed. I know it isn't supposed to matter who files but the one filing presents their case first and that could be advantageous. Be fair and honest afetr all, you have to live with yourself. Divorce can be real nasty but doesn't have to be.

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#33267 - 03/09/06 01:32 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: Gecko]
Laura Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 02/22/06
Posts: 300
I was told by state police I moved out so I couldn't go back. he changed locks and I was told if I stepped foot on property i would be arrested we are still married!

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#33268 - 03/15/06 10:48 PM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: Gecko]
Madeline13 Offline
newbie

Registered: 03/15/06
Posts: 33
I can't believe that you can't simply changed the locks since he is the one that moved out, but I guess it makes sense. My suggestion would be file for the divorce, as well as a temporary order declaring this your home and that he cannot come in and intrude on your privacy whenever he visits. If you don't want to go through this, then hire a housesitter, since he visits only when you're gone maybe this will deter him until you decide what to do.

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#33269 - 08/08/06 06:13 PM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: Gecko]
DGH Offline
recently joined

Registered: 07/20/06
Posts: 20
Loc: CT
I agree with the others about getting the ball rolling on your own. If he is out of the house, go ahead and file, but be prepared to pick up the house payments!

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#33270 - 08/11/06 04:17 PM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- lega [Re: one_angry_chic]
Paralegal Offline
recently joined

Registered: 08/11/06
Posts: 3
To "One Angry Chic" from another - My situation is similar to your dilemna except I filed for divorce and he left (without his things)and hasn't come back and refuses to disclose where he is staying. Please see a lawyer. It's called ABANDONMENT, honey. Change your locks. Your husband has abandoned you and the marital homeplace and I seriously doubt any judge in Alabama will fault you for changing them. He has chosen to live a separate life outside of the marital home and away from his wife. 9 times out of 10 he probably has a girlfriend, too. Please don't let him manipulate you. Keep me posted. P-offed in Mobile

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#33271 - 08/11/06 04:22 PM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- [Re: Pete]
Paralegal Offline
recently joined

Registered: 08/11/06
Posts: 3
It's called abandonment.

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#33272 - 08/11/06 04:30 PM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- [Re: Paralegal]
Paralegal Offline
recently joined

Registered: 08/11/06
Posts: 3
Hey Angry - Beat him to the punch on filing. When or if you retain a lawyer, have him immediately file a motion for possession of the homeplace and prohibit your husband from being able to enter without your permission. Alabama also has a Status Quo Order that goes into affect immediately when a divorce complaint is filed. This means that any household expenses, etc. have to continue to be paid just as they were prior filing until a decree is rendered. If he refuses then you can hold him in contempt.

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#33273 - 10/12/09 07:36 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- legal? [Re: allison]
alreadygone25 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 10/12/09
Posts: 2
so if he has the right to do whatever he wants, and doesnt live there..can she go over to hisplace and come and go as she pleases?

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#33274 - 12/31/14 11:32 AM thanks prophet [Re: alreadygone25]
juliet Offline

recently joined

Registered: 12/31/14
Posts: 1
I am here to testify to the good work of the prophet saibaba 6 months ago, my husband left home, he never returned, no phone calls, no letters, no emails, no sign of him anywhere. my daughter got sick so ill, things were so tough for me. I had lost hope, i lost hope completely, my daughter's situation got worse each day.Last month, i saw a posting concerning the good works of the prophet, i gave him a try. and i prayed with him and perform all the spiritual acts. In a matter of days, my husband called me and told me he was sorry and that he wants to come back home and that he would explain everything when he comes back, three days later, i got a new job with a company, right now, my daughter's condition is getting better each day and i trust she would be well in a matter of days.let the almighty one be praise. i will advise you to contact the prophet if you seek permanent solution to your problem you are right one. he will sure help you. you can contact the prophet with his email address which is [email][email protected][censored].com[/email]

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#33275 - 03/07/16 07:56 AM Re: husband moved out but still comes & goes- legal? [Re: Rebecca5]
Cooks Offline

recently joined

Registered: 03/07/16
Posts: 2
(I PROMISED DR KAREEM TO SHARE THIS GREAT TESTIMONY TO EVERYONE THAT COMES MY WAY.) Please bear with me and read on!
I noticed a sudden change when my husband started cheating on me.'For the worse,'he started treating me and our little kids as total strangers'.I knew once that something has gone wrong. I hired a private investigator that cost me a lot to help monitor his moves.
Sadly,i was told he was seeing another woman. It turned out right to be what i was thinking. I couldn't just believe it so i confronted him with the pictures,but he denied it bluntly. he said she was just a lady he had some working project with but foolishly i believed him.But on one faithful day, i caught them red handed and that moment my heart stopped pumping for a while as i bust into tears. I have never seen in his eyes so much hatred before, to the extent that he would l have to cheat on me. I still remember his very words " "KEEP THE HOUSE AND YOUR SICK KIDS! He stopped coming home from that day. I tried all i could to make him come back home but all my efforts proved abortive till i stumbled on an article online about a spell caster: Dr Kareem how he castes love spell to reunite broken relationships.But At first, I told myself it was a scam because i never believed in such but as pressure from my husband's lawyer increased i became desperate and gave it a chance.You never know until you break down the walls and give something a chance.Though i know it sounds too desperate but i love my husband and wanted him back.i contacted the love spell caster Dr Karreem via his website and his phone number.I followed all his instructions and everything happened just as he said. My husband came back to me after 46 hours of preparing the love spell and we have been living for some years now without any problem. People call Doctor Kareem as nice man but i call him a God sent! Here is my phone number +15309038029 text me for any information. Do you need help for these areas:
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[email][email protected][censored].com[/email]

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