Um, I'm having trouble understanding your question as you are writing in net-speak/partial phrases. Try again?
And most states don't care what the grounds are when it comes to Spousal Support or other division of property issues. Obviously it matters for child support as you should be paying for your biological children only (unless there is some other legal issue which forces you to pay for the others).
Try posting in a forum like the Financial Issues or Property forums. These state forums get very little action.
Finally, it may not have been very wise of you to let GF spend overnights. You want to maintain a calm, amicable atmosphere until the divorce is final.