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#375595 - 04/09/08 02:41 AM Re: Help [Re: Annie7676]
blueiris385 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 04/07/08
Posts: 5
I'm 25. She's 23. Weve known each other on and off since we were about seventeen. We were friends, and became best friends before we started dating. We are still best friends ( except for the ripping my heart out part). Also She was my first girlfriend, first kiss, and I lost my virginity to her. The same goes for her. I'm assuming thats the problem, and why she want's to see what else is out there.

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#375596 - 04/17/08 05:56 AM Re: Help [Re: blueiris385]
Renee Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 4022
Loc: The Palmetto State
If she wanted to see what else was out there, she should've thought about that before the wedding.

I'm sorry, but I'm going to be blunt.

You are NOT her best friend anymore. If you were she would not hurt you the way she is.

She does not want to be your wife anymore. She wants the benefits, the security, of sticking with someone she knows while she gets to go play the field. You have become her fallback guy. HUSBANDS are not supposed to be the fallback guy.

She has given you a wake up call. She has told you point blank she wants to screw around. Yes - SCREW AROUND. "See other people" and "See whats out there" means the same thing in Chick-speak as it does in Guy-speak. She's not going to go out looking for someone else just to be friends, she's out there looking to see if she can do better than you.

Now is the time to take stock of what YOU want. You say you want her, but do you want her when she treats you like this? I would hope you would want a woman who treats you like a wife should treat a husband - with respect for him as a person and with the loyalty those vows described. I would hope you realize that you are WORTHY of having a wife who doesn't feel like she's missed out on life, but who feels that you make her life complete.

You deserve so much better than how she is treating you. My instinct would be to say cut her loose and let her find out how the Real World is, but I understand that you don't want to let go. I can empathize with that, so the only viable option is to try counseling. You and her, or just you alone.

I can tell you from personal experience that what feels like the end of the world is really not. As much as I loved my Husband, I couldn't accept how he treated me. If we could've worked it out I would've been happy, but even though we didn't, I don't regret my divorce.

The more time you spend trying to save your marriage single-handedly, the less time you will have to find happiness and a stable marriage to a woman who deserves you.

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#375597 - 11/11/11 07:22 AM Re: Help [Re: Annie7676]
blueiris385 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 04/07/08
Posts: 5
Haven't been on here in a while. Thanks to everyone for their help, I was in a bad place back then and really needed it. I'm doing great now. Looking back it was hard but it was also for the best. I have a new best friend now, who is also previously married. I love her with all my heart and we've decided to take things slow as to avoid the mistakes we both made in the past. Again, thanks.

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