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#4227 - 11/11/04 03:35 AM Property division
haywire Offline
recently joined

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 4
My husband and I are in Rhode Island and are getting a divorce. We've lived in the home for 29 years. It was my parents' home until my mother passed away in 1993 and left the property to my sister and myself. I later refinanced my parents' mortgage and purchased my sister's interest with a 2nd mortgage to her, and held title in my name only. A few years later I put my husband's name on the deed as tenants by the entirety. I have refinanced several times and have paid most of the expenses (mortgages, taxes, insurance, utilities) myself, with little contribution from my husband.

Is he entitled to an equitable share of the equity? If so, will his share be reduced by his lack of contribution to the mortgage, etc.?

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#4228 - 11/11/04 10:32 AM Re: Property division [Re: haywire]
Onyx Offline
old hand

Registered: 08/03/04
Posts: 816
Loc: Buffalo NY
Personal injury monies, and inheritances are untouchable in most states. My name was on the deed to the house. when we got divorced, because he used his PIM to buy the house, it was awarded to him ENTIRELY. I think you will be safe, but call a lawyer to make sure. Blessings, Onyx
_________________________
"Don't Make Me Get My Flying Monkeys"

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#4229 - 11/11/04 03:45 PM Re: Property division [Re: haywire]
Gryph Offline
member

Registered: 10/12/04
Posts: 118
Loc: Minnesota

Having reviewed Rhode Island's equitable distribution standards I would definitely get an attorney looking at your situation promptly. There are so many variables in that language that in the end I have no idea what they mean.

Is there acrimony, or are you and he splitting up on good terms? I ask only because all of this can be negotiated between the two of you and agreed upon and the courts will accept your agreement. Just talking about it might relieve most of your anxiety. Even if your split is acrimonious, you might find that my approaching your stbx with respect and kindness that he will negotiate with you in good faith.

Peace and Love

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#4230 - 11/11/04 05:48 PM Re: Property division [Re: Onyx]
haywire Offline
recently joined

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 4
Onyx, so sorry about how that worked out for you. But it gives me a little hope.

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#4231 - 11/11/04 05:56 PM Re: Property division [Re: Gryph]
haywire Offline
recently joined

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 4
Gryph, I've been doing some research and it is very confusing. I've got an attorney and he says that having my stbx's name on the deed makes it more difficult but that there's a chance of showing that I was misled.

Unfortunately, it's not a friendly divorce. I recently found out he's been having an affair for years, under my nose, and he refused to end it. I want to keep my family home and can't afford to buy him out. He thinks he's entitled to 40%.
But the property is heavily mortgaged, and if he's entitled to only a share of the equity, as opposed to a share of the entire value, then we might be able to work it out with me giving up my share of other items.

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#4232 - 11/11/04 06:24 PM Re: Property division [Re: haywire]
Gryph Offline
member

Registered: 10/12/04
Posts: 118
Loc: Minnesota
I would seriously think he would only be entitled (which is such a strong word in this case, but the law you know) to a percentage of the current equity. Again, your attorney will be the only one who can guide you with any accuracy, but equity should be exactly that, equity.

You have my deepest sympathy for your situation. Finding your love and devotion have been violated in that way can be devastating. Let me offer this, though.

Your husband committed the affair; it was his act and his choice. It wasn't you. Shed yourself of any cares about him and his chosen past, those things no longer mean anything to you or your future. You can grind your soul to its very quick by seeking evidence, by looking for more details, by demanding actions on his part related to the affair or any of his past activities. But, all you will have after that is a pile of information; no closure, no conclusions, no happiness.

For now, breath in the air of freedom, of your own place in the world and grow comfortable with who you are. Open your heart to the whole world and love, not amorously, but happily and gently. Smile all the time, smile at people and greet them, even total strangers. Smile when you are all by yourself. Leave the pain and unhappiness where they belong, in the past.

Love and Peace

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#4233 - 11/11/04 08:01 PM Re: Property division [Re: Gryph]
haywire Offline
recently joined

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 4
Thanks for your kind words Gryph. They are so true. I went through a period of needing to find proof of the affair, not only for my own sanity but to help my case for keeping my home. I'm finally done with that, and now along with the pain there's a feeling of renewal and freedom.

Although I didn't know about the affair, I lived for years with his constant criticism and lack of affection. Now I know why he treated me like that, and it feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. A friend told me that I've become "younger" and I kind of feel that way. Thank you so much for the encouragement.

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#4234 - 11/11/04 08:58 PM Re: Property division [Re: haywire]
Onyx Offline
old hand

Registered: 08/03/04
Posts: 816
Loc: Buffalo NY
That's okay, at least it is helping someone. I am over it now. I recovered quite nicely from the blow, and have full custody, which is worth more than any material thing. :)
Good luck and keep us posted. Blessings, Onyx


[quote]Onyx, so sorry about how that worked out for you. But it gives me a little hope. [/quote]
_________________________
"Don't Make Me Get My Flying Monkeys"

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