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#490071 - 04/15/09 02:53 AM Re: Don't know what to do [Re: tj7run]
cinnest Offline
recently joined

Registered: 02/22/09
Posts: 3
Thanks for all the info. I really appreciate the info and I'm doing exactly what you all suggested and making a plan...but it isn't soon enough. Since this is California, we may have different laws. Some of my contacts think he may have to give me maintenance since he wanted me to stop working. So, I don't know..I'm so tired of this..It has been 3 days again with him not speaking to me. I'm thinking I should rent a place "before" i tell him so that I'll be able to go right away. Thank you again

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#490072 - 04/15/09 02:55 AM Re: Don't know what to do [Re: shortmarriage]
cinnest Offline
recently joined

Registered: 02/22/09
Posts: 3
I came into the marriage with my own condo. We are renting it out now and that covers the mortgage. I also had no bills, a new car paid for, a small pension and full medical and dental insurance...he was a lucky guy huh to get me!

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#490073 - 04/15/09 03:38 AM Re: Don't know what to do [Re: cinnest]
shortmarriage Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 12/08/08
Posts: 1773
Be glad that you still have your condo! I wish I had rented my house out. I sold it, went into the marriage with a large amount of cash (savings &amp; equity from my home) and now it's gone. I also had no debt and a car that is paid for. Now I rent an apartment that costs more than my mortgage payment was.

I know all about the silent treatment. That's something that my STBX did too. But, it went on for months at a time. The last time it started was on July 4th and I moved out on October 1st. I couldn't live like that anymore.

Do you have money put aside that you can rent something? Is it possible for you to move back into your condo?

Hang in there!

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#490074 - 04/15/09 04:28 AM Re: Don't know what to do [Re: cinnest]
javajunkiee Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/08
Posts: 3200
Loc: SC
CA laws are not that different when it comes to alimony. Yes, its a community property state, but you've not been out of work but 7 mos at the most, and you're able to work. The court will see that you've not truly lost anything financially except 7 mos worth of salary. You still have your condo, retirement, car, etc. Plus, whether he wanted you to or not, it *was* ultimately your choice to quit. No judge will compensate you for quitting your job after 7mos. Your contacts are pipe dreaming.

Get a couple of free consults with lawyers in your area if that will make you feel more comfortable, but I'll bet you that the $$ it will cost you to fight for alimony after a 7 mos marriage, will be MORE than any award you could get, and tie you to him longer than you want.

P.S. If pigs fly and the judge orders alimony? What makes you think he will actually PAY it? The courts can't make deadbeat parents pay child support, and alimony is a lower priority.

I'm sorry, but you have an incredibly weak case. Ask for your old job back and cut your losses.
_________________________
Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.

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#490075 - 06/04/09 08:10 PM Re: Don't know what to do [Re: cinnest]
ajs06 Offline

journeyman

Registered: 06/03/09
Posts: 54
I would most definitely get a job if I were you. If he questions or says anything I would say: I would like to contribute to the house and don't like feeling like a burdon. I would get the job whatever it may be, stash some money away but contribute to the household so he doesn't question where the money is going. You have to be good at keeping a lid on your mouth, do not let on or even put a thought into his head that you have money so you are no longer a prisoner in his house.
It is a control issue and you are not alone.

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#490076 - 10/26/10 09:52 PM Re: Don't know what to do [Re: tj7run]
crossurbridge Offline

journeyman

Registered: 10/26/10
Posts: 58
Loc: Monument, CO
Excellent book which will help you answer ALL of your questions...10 Keys: A Woman's Guide For Navigating a Successful Financial Divorce available on Amazon... and I would also be happy to talk to you. Visit CrossingYourBridge.com for my info :)
_________________________
Meredith Bromfield

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#490077 - 12/31/10 08:37 PM Re: Don't know what to do [Re: crossurbridge]
Maury Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 8182
Loc: This Asylum --->
Why not add advice on this forum rather than pimping a book you wrote and a website to sell life coaching in order to make money. Quite an opportunist.

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