Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online

Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#5162 - 12/02/04 07:24 AM husband made down payment and wants more
icelollie Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 10
My husband and I purchased our home right after getting married but he put down payment from his prior home. I was, however, living with him in the prior home. The title is joint tenancy, but he says if I give him the first 25,000 (which is less than his down payment) he will sign marital settlement agreement. He has always been a very selfish person and has got this money back from me in many ways the six years we have been married, but on the other hand, it seems a wise thing to do at times to avoid the hassle of attorneys and court. Any advice? :confused:

Top
#5163 - 12/02/04 09:50 AM Re: husband made down payment and wants more [Re: icelollie]
Onyx Offline
old hand

Registered: 08/03/04
Posts: 816
Loc: Buffalo NY
How much was his down payment on the house? Were you on the deed for the other house? How did he obtain the other house? If he signs a marital settlement, what is in it for either of you? Do you have kids? Please fill in the blanks. Blessings, Onyx
_________________________
"Don't Make Me Get My Flying Monkeys"

Top
#5164 - 12/02/04 07:16 PM Re: husband made down payment and wants more [Re: icelollie]
Gecko Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 20602
Loc: Third rock from the sun
So how much did you contribute to his prior home?

And as for him "getting his money back from you", I'm sure it was a two-way street in that you also benefited.
_________________________
If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!

Top
#5165 - 12/02/04 09:44 PM Re: husband made down payment and wants more [Re: Onyx]
icelollie Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 10
His down payment, including closing costs was about that amount. I was not on deed to other house but did contribute a lot ofcourse I cant prove ofcourse. We dont have children together. His source of downpayment came from money inherited and money borrowed from brother. We make the same money per hour but he generally works more than I do and makes more per year, however, I also take care of house including generally taking care of most repairs.

Top
#5166 - 12/02/04 09:50 PM Re: husband made down payment and wants more [Re: icelollie]
icelollie Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 10
We benefit from agreement by not having to pay lawyers who will drag out for their benefit. I think he may be hiding something and has fears about being discovered, but it is not worth it for me to go through stress. I actually thinks this is a somewhat fair. I am taking care of paper work and marital settlement agreement--also painting house. It kind of ticks me that I dont get paid for all of this but o well. I think trying to get through this with least cost will benefit both of us in long run. He will get enough money to probably buy condo at least for cash and I will struggle but am doing that here with trying to work full time, take care of kids, house, business while he only pays half of bills. There is no love in this marriage and we have separate rooms and I just want out. His only concern his giving up his dream home.

Top
#5167 - 12/02/04 09:52 PM Re: husband made down payment and wants more [Re: Gecko]
icelollie Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 10
good point gecko---yes, I also benefited. He acts like I am the only one that did though. I will be so glad when this is over and I can begin the process of putting my life back together


Edited by icelollie (12/02/04 10:50 PM)

Top
#5168 - 12/02/04 10:14 PM Re: husband made down payment and wants more [Re: icelollie]
aussie928 Offline
old hand

Registered: 10/29/04
Posts: 969
Loc: Dallas
his is the Q for you luv. You state you contributed but in what way...you said part of it was an inheritance. Why do you feel that you have any rights to this. As to the part he borrowed from his brother...has this been paid back and by whom? If you dont have any children and you both work why is he financially responsible for you now ? Not trying to be rude, but I dont see this as him being selfish.

Top
#5169 - 12/02/04 10:48 PM Re: husband made down payment and wants more [Re: aussie928]
icelollie Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 10
Why do I feel I have rights? Because I do. Dont have rights to down payment of first home. Second home purchased after we were married. Funds were comingled. I do think he has rights to get back original down payment even though I used most of my own inheritance for cruise he wanted, paying off credit cards, etc and have little left. House is joint tenancy and basically if we use lawyers I think he will end up giving me half. I'll come out the same either way. We have always had joint account which I am managed bills and paid everything timely. Last week we changed to separate account and now split bills but ofcourse are not splitting other things--like housework, I am painting 2500 square foot house, etc. The agreement is probably about as fair as it is going to get provided he hasnt pulled a fast one. I am somewhat upset that I married a man that never cared only wanted me to help pay for his dream house. Ofcourse he regrets that he didnt buy before marriage and have me walk with little, but he never came from a place of love or caring so he deserves it. After about three years of marriage I began to get tired of doing all the giving. Everything was always of, for and by him and we live in, as he states it, HIS HOUSE, and we not only, according to him, dont have a family home but are worth nothing. GRRRRR--I have been in therapy for the last three months and realize I need to get out of this--

Top
#5170 - 12/03/04 01:18 AM Re: husband made down payment and wants more [Re: icelollie]
aussie928 Offline
old hand

Registered: 10/29/04
Posts: 969
Loc: Dallas
g'day luv. See this is what happens when only get part of the story up front. If you had an inheritance and this money was spent on both of you and you can show this different story. As to you doing all the housework..clean up after yourself. Let him clean up after himself. The Q you have to ask yourself is what do I get without court action and what do I get with it. I have seen many go to court over 20k and end up spending 30k to get it. Would suggest you talk to an attorney...tell him what proof you have..what proof he has. He/she can then advise you. The one thing you should be grateful for is that you are smart enough to realize you need out now. Many wait for years. Good luck to you luv.

Top
#5171 - 12/03/04 02:44 AM Re: husband made down payment and wants more [Re: aussie928]
icelollie Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 10
I hope we will both be happier as we arent young chickens and I guess I feel like this marriage is degrading--not what I want. I really hope my husband finds happiness in his life. I think once we get divorced I might like him a little--hopefully. Thanks for input. I have appointment Monday to talk with lawyer. He always told me he wanted like the first 85k which is far more than he put down on second house so all of sudden when reality hits he changes his tune. I am not sure I can trust him. It makes me laugh that now that we have separate checking accounts and he has some real worry over bills and expenses that it is stressing him out already. He always only put a set amount in joint account, had plenty of spending money and I had to deal with the stress of extra unbudgeted expenses from month to month and use credit cards at times to pay them. Thank God I had inheritance to pay them off.
Thanks for feedback. Yes, I've seen people spend over 30k on lawyers and come out with nothing. Even if you win, it has to be a lot of money to make it worth your while because of the stress and uncertainty you must contend with while waiting.

Top
#5172 - 12/03/04 10:44 PM Re: husband made down payment and wants more [Re: icelollie]
aussie928 Offline
old hand

Registered: 10/29/04
Posts: 969
Loc: Dallas
Good luck with your attorney on Monday and please keep us posted. He may or may not get the amount that he put up from his inheritance. The attorney can advise you on what is fair...as to wanting an amount above this..no way luv...and what one WANTS in a divorce and is entitled to are often at opposite ends. Be fair..but dont be bullied.

Top
#5173 - 12/04/04 09:48 AM Re: husband made down payment and wants more [Re: aussie928]
Onyx Offline
old hand

Registered: 08/03/04
Posts: 816
Loc: Buffalo NY
I would bet that he will recover his inheritance. My ex was awarded the marital home because he spent his personal injury monies on it. He paid for it in full, while we were married, and had my name put on the deed. This is NYS law, I dont know where the poster is from, but she needs to know, that in most states, PIM, and inheritances can and should be recovered by the person who owned them. Was it fair in my case? Yes. Did I like it? No. I felt that I should have gotten something for supporting him, and the fact that I gave birth to our child. But the something that I felt I deserved was his, and protected by law, as personal injury money/inheritance. They are one in the same in NYS when it comes to this kind of thing. I know that if I had PIM or an inheritance, I wouldnt want ANYONE to be able to touch it... no one but me and my kids. Good Luck. Blessings, Onyx
_________________________
"Don't Make Me Get My Flying Monkeys"

Top
#5174 - 12/08/04 10:00 AM Re: husband made down payment and wants more [Re: Onyx]
icelollie Offline
recently joined

Registered: 12/02/04
Posts: 10
Yes you are right onyx--he would recover his downpayment (inheritance) anyway.

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >

Moderator:  dsAdmin 


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: