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#577600 - 11/15/09 01:09 AM New to this site and newly separated
eeyrich Offline

recently joined

Registered: 11/15/09
Posts: 1
My husband of 11 years and I informally separated in July. He packed his bag, sat the kids down and told them he was leaving and going back to Arizona (where we moved here from). I told him that he could leave me, but he could not just abandon his kids, that isn't right. I made it clear that if he left, he was no longer welcome back (this is not the first time he has done this, but this time he actually told the kids he was leaving). He left. For the first time in 13 years, I stood my ground and when he returned a few hours later, I refused to allow him back in. Within 2 days, he removed his name from our apartment lease as requested by me. Now he is living in his car, working sporadically, and not participating in the lives of the kids. I am in turn, feeling very guilty for what he is going through, the kids are going without and I am having to carry on my mind. On one hand, I feel like I should offer him a place to sleep and a roof over his head, on the other hand, I feel like he got what he asked for, he wanted to leave...what should I do? Stand my ground and make him be a man and take care of himself or give into the part of me that still feels obligated to "take care" of him? We have not talked at all about being separated or the inevitable divorce in the future. Any suggestions?

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#577601 - 10/30/12 09:58 PM Re: New to this site and newly separated [Re: eeyrich]
offspring28 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 10/30/12
Posts: 1
I would not feel responsible or guilty. He can make his own decisions and he did by leaving. I recently went through a devorce and am trying to figure things out. I feel like the person that left is on a lower moral ground than the person that stays. But it also depends on the situation. Just my .02.

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