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#615436 - 03/08/10 03:12 AM online affair
lisajo Offline

recently joined

Registered: 03/08/10
Posts: 1
My husband of ten years joined a political forum. I found out a few weeks ago that he is having an online affair with one of the moderators on the forum. We are now separated. I am totally devastated. I have never been so hurt in my life. He has lied to me over and over. Any advice on how to get through this? We are definetly going to divorce over this. She lives 600 miles away.....I don't understand this!

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#615437 - 03/08/10 02:43 PM Re: online affair [Re: lisajo]
ConfusedDadNH Offline

newbie

Registered: 10/28/09
Posts: 37
Loc: NH
Hi Lisajo

Have you been in therapy together yet? Often times online affairs (on any affair) are a manifestation of other issues he may be having in his life that may or may not have anything to do with you. I know the devestation your feel first hand, and do not know any other details of your marraige, but all I can say is that don't rush anything. Try and see through the haze of anger and hurt and get a professional third party opinion. Best ot luck to you.

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#615438 - 03/15/10 06:02 PM Re: online affair [Re: ConfusedDadNH]
yregna Offline
veteran

Registered: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
I see you waited your requisite 10 years. How much money are you wanting to get from this guy for the rest of your stinkin' life ?
_________________________
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..." "Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"

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#615439 - 03/15/10 09:36 PM Re: online affair [Re: yregna]
Maury Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 8182
Loc: This Asylum --->
How do you have an online affair exactly if the parties live 600 miles apart? My guess is that it depends on how you choose to define an affair.

Ignore Yregna. He has bulletin board Tourettes and often blurts out things that make no sense.

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#615440 - 03/26/10 03:31 AM Re: online affair [Re: lisajo]
VanajaGhose Offline

newbie

Registered: 11/14/09
Posts: 40
Loc: Ontario, Canada
"An affair says more about a marriage than the affair itself." This was the wisest statement I heard many years ago from someone.

Your question is how to get over this feeling of betrayal. Unfortunately, only time will heal, AND a LOT of work on your part, i.e., a willingness to work on your self, taking a deep and serious look at your own part in your marriage, and acknowledging the good and the bad of it all, etc., working through all the different emotions that inevitably will come up...

Warm regards,
_________________________
Vanaja Ghose Professional Life Coach DivorcedToDazzling.com

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#615441 - 07/26/10 11:13 PM Re: online affair [Re: VanajaGhose]
Fredrick Offline

recently joined

Registered: 07/26/10
Posts: 4
LISAJO
Look kindly be patient and never trust that relation okay.?I am telling you that it is only armed robbers that can take what a man or woman has worked for in 10 years within a single hours.Believe and I will encourage you to stay and watch him.Try and ask him this question"please what one thing do you see in me that would make you leave me for another woman"Try and tell me what happens.

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#615442 - 12/09/15 04:49 PM Re: online affair [Re: Fredrick]
jorgito2001 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 12/07/15
Posts: 7
Loc: FL
[quote]Your question is how to get over this feeling of betrayal. Unfortunately, only time will heal, AND a LOT of work on your part, i.e., a willingness to work on your self, taking a deep and serious look at your own part in your marriage, and acknowledging the good and the bad of it all, etc., working through all the different emotions that inevitably will come up...[/quote]VERY well put!

I am the victim of an emotional "online" affair. My wife decided to carry on with a close friend of the family on FB Messenger that lives 100 miles away. My heart sank when I found a very long & LOVING back & forth exchange between the two. Since the bust this late summer, we have separated and are now working out the details for a divorce. This after 18 years of marriage and me not suspecting a THING!

An Affair is an affair, and when the spouse invests emotionally in someone other then YOU, it hurts the same as if he/she was physically cheating. But as Vanaja said, its the BETRAYAL that I'm having the hardest time getting over vs the divorce itself. How can I ever trust ANYONE ever again?? I've been seeing a counselor as well as a Divorce Support Group that is Christian based on its helped A LOT! But like the OP, I am still very much DEVASTATED that my 18 year marriage ends on such a sad & hurtful note.

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