[quote]Your question is how to get over this feeling of betrayal. Unfortunately, only time will heal, AND a LOT of work on your part, i.e., a willingness to work on your self, taking a deep and serious look at your own part in your marriage, and acknowledging the good and the bad of it all, etc., working through all the different emotions that inevitably will come up...[/quote]VERY well put!
I am the victim of an emotional "online" affair. My wife decided to carry on with a close friend of the family on FB Messenger that lives 100 miles away. My heart sank when I found a very long & LOVING back & forth exchange between the two. Since the bust this late summer, we have separated and are now working out the details for a divorce. This after 18 years of marriage and me not suspecting a THING!
An Affair is an affair, and when the spouse invests emotionally in someone other then YOU, it hurts the same as if he/she was physically cheating. But as Vanaja said, its the BETRAYAL that I'm having the hardest time getting over vs the divorce itself. How can I ever trust ANYONE ever again?? I've been seeing a counselor as well as a Divorce Support Group that is Christian based on its helped A LOT! But like the OP, I am still very much DEVASTATED that my 18 year marriage ends on such a sad & hurtful note.