Okay #1 No, if you live in differant states and you file 1st then the other person will have to come to your state for court
#2 If you both live in another state the documents that you sign and have a notary stamp does not have to be the same state, I have sent documents to one client that was on vacation and she had them stamped and sent back to me.
#3 Marital settlement, yes you still have to do this and the reason if during your marriage you did aquire property..... they will want to know if you baught artwork, tv; dvd players, ANYTHING tht was purchased while you where married. That is the property that will be divided or the fair market value of that item.
** At office max or office depot there is this document that you can buy where you guys just fill in the spaces and both sign, you can take that to the court and have it filed there and pay the filing fees to do so.**
GOOD LUCK TO YOU