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#648299 - 07/04/10 04:32 AM Seasonal Wanderlust
FooledAgain Offline

recently joined

Registered: 07/04/10
Posts: 1
Loc: Louisiana
I'm currently starting down the barrel of a divorce: In-House separation, She's seeing other people, has spent the night with other men behind my back (before she ever mentioned the separation) including my best friend. (2 girls aged 2 and 4). I wanted to try to work it out but she insists on divorce and won't go to counseling unless its court ordered. She had physically cheated on me before we were married but she insists she hasn't actually had intercourse with anyone since we were married. It seems every year at this time she has a huge blow-up. I just don't know what to do, I love my wife, we've been married for five years and we dated for 6 years before that(off and on, with the cheating and all). I'm sure that if I wait she'll come back, I just don't know if I should be running away when she does. Does this seem like a situation that can be salvaged? I hesitate to mention, but she is an alcoholic I think (her mother is for certain). I mentioned it to her, and she responded that she had been binging but she was going to control it on her own.. Is this a lost cause, or is there hope that I can save my wife if not my marriage. Honestly, I'd sacrifice being married to her if I had to, in order to help her be a better mom to my girls.

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#648300 - 07/06/10 02:06 PM Re: Seasonal Wanderlust [Re: FooledAgain]
BeachBabeRN Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/17/06
Posts: 3236
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
Do you not deserve someone that treats you better? WHY would you EVER take her back again?

She has spent the night with other men but hasn't had intercourse -- is her name Bill Clinton? You don't honestly BELIEVE that do you?

If this was my situation, I wouldn't WANT it to be salvaged -- sometimes you simply have to cut bait and move on.

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#648301 - 07/25/10 01:36 AM Re: Seasonal Wanderlust [Re: BeachBabeRN]
kathy002 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 07/25/10
Posts: 6
If someone told you the story you just posted, what would you advise them to do? Follow your own advice!
In the meantime, get her some help. Insist that she join AA. Get her into counseling. Get yourself together so you can be there for your daughters when she walks away due to her immaturity. I would never allow my children to be around someone that selfish, immature and unstable. But that's just me.

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#648302 - 08/03/10 06:07 PM Re: Seasonal Wanderlust [Re: kathy002]
yregna Offline
veteran

Registered: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
Dude,
You sound like a person who wants to be treated badly and that is the only way you can be happy.

If that is what you want, stay with her, and keep posting, you've found the magic nirvana everyone else is seeking !
_________________________
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..." "Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"

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#648303 - 04/20/14 10:48 AM Re: Seasonal Wanderlust [Re: yregna]
JoeSr Offline

recently joined

Registered: 04/20/14
Posts: 6
Fooled: With 20/20 hindsight after my recent months of trying to hold the marriage together, bending my personal boundaries to the breaking point, and believing unbelievable excuses, if I had it to do over I would get out of the relationship and start rebuilding my life ASAP. When your partner's indifference and bad behavior removes the comfort and security from your marriage, it's just not worth staying any more, no matter how hard you wish it were different or how long you're willing to wait for her to change.

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