Wow where do I begin? Husband/father now wants to be father & husband after 16 years. Just said he now bonded with his 10 year old daughter. Work all the time. His choice. Was a burden to watch his own children, to do anything for me as his wife, or anything together as a family! I Filed in April still living together in same house with him. Have had 3 court dates now & four see 3 more before anything is solved. Asking to relocate to NY with my family if not granted that for Temp possation of the house, van & sole psychical custody of children. Asking for him to pay child support, mortgage, & my attorney fees. I have been a stay at home mom & wife for 16 years. No education, no family here. Have tried to go to school to better myself he has not supported that. Tried to get a part time job he didn’t support that. I have medical issues that perform me from doing certain job duties need some kind of schooling. I can’t get Social security because I have not worked enough in my life even though the doctor says/ wants me too. He hated that I volunteered for my 10 year old school. Can’t get SSI or temp assistance because he still lives here. He took over 6000 out of our savings & he no longer has his paycheck direct deposits in our joint acct. puts in small amounts into that. He did all that before I filed. I had to give him control of the bills had no money to pay the bills.
He says NO to relocation & wants full custody of the kids, house, car & me to pay child support. Was okay with me going to live with his parents with the children in another state before I filed but says No way to my family! Threaten to quit his job when shown child support work sheet & go live with his mother in another state. He Has applied for other jobs in other states!
He says I do not have first right to refusal to my kids after the divorce. He says his lawyer has not heard of such a thing. I have 2 friends that went through a divorce that know about this & so does my lawyer. Have anyone of you heard about this?
Why I still live with him? He won’t let me leave with the kids, he will not leave, no family here, my lawyer says he has rights to kids too, could press charges against me if I do, lawyer trying to get me the house if not granted relocation… It is a bad environment for the children with all the stress & tension in the home. The mental abuse is terrible. If I leave the house & kids he will win custody. These kids have only known me to do everything for them until 6 months ago. He now rushes to do it all. This man never cooked a dinner in 16 years. Now cooks, cleans, baths kids…
I have had 2 school teachers testify for me stating Im the one that was volunteering eating lunch & etc at school. Even though he could have came in on one of his week days off.
I had 3 family members come in to testify they will be there to support me & the children any way they can. My mother will watch the children for free while I go back to school & testify that they had to come take care of me after a major surgery I had. Also because he said New york & my family was forgien to them. My family visits here & we at least go to NY once a year.
I had 2 friends testify I did everything with the kids & always had kids with me. Etc. 1 friend testified that he told her he just bonded with his 10 year old & another testify that his children are not running his life!
I am testifying now & more than likely have my doctor testify next. 5 other neighbors said they would testify if I needed them too that he was hardly seen outside with his children playing etc.
His lawyer says he has 3 people to testify for him.
Last hearing when we were trying to come up with a new date judge asked how much longer this was going to take. Then both lawyers said what they had left to do. Judge said well u guys figure out a date got up & left the room… Not sure now if judge is pissed.
He has stuff in journal not true that I can prove otherwise.
Questions: what do u think chances are for relocation for me? Have you heard of first right to refusal? How do you think the judge might decided on this one? I am thinking about not signing any divorce papers until he agrees on the New York move.