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#679662 - 11/17/10 03:18 AM Growing up with divorced parents
Tribal Offline

recently joined

Registered: 11/17/10
Posts: 2
Hello,

I maybe in the wrong place for this or maybe I am in the right place...

anyway, I am now 25 and My parents split up when I was about 10 years old.

Feeling abandoned by my parents has led me to have relationships which don't seem healthy.

I have emotional damage from this and I am trying to find a solution or way of coping with it.

I have been in relationships where I fear commitment, half in half out, want her when i don't have her, don't want her when I do have her.

this is some nasty stuff. anyone have any guidance on where to go to deal with this stuff?

Thanks


Edited by Tribal (11/17/10 04:16 AM)

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#679663 - 11/17/10 04:26 AM Re: Growing up with divorced parents [Re: Tribal]
BeckaLeigh Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 6879
Loc: Texas
Have you tried therapy? Maybe a therapist could help you work thru these issues.
_________________________
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

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#679664 - 11/17/10 06:05 AM Re: Growing up with divorced parents [Re: BeckaLeigh]
Tribal Offline

recently joined

Registered: 11/17/10
Posts: 2
I will look into it, thanks.

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#679665 - 11/17/10 11:21 PM Re: Growing up with divorced parents [Re: Tribal]
BeckaLeigh Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/08/05
Posts: 6879
Loc: Texas
I truly hope it helps.
_________________________
I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

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#679666 - 11/19/10 05:36 PM Re: Growing up with divorced parents [Re: Tribal]
yregna Offline
veteran

Registered: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
Let hope you at least know NOT TO EVER GET MARRIED. You can be as committed as you want, but don't sign that legal contract which removes ALL your rights and gives HER all rights to your money and children.
_________________________
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..." "Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"

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#679667 - 11/20/10 04:29 PM Re: Growing up with divorced parents [Re: yregna]
MidGround4 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 11/09/10
Posts: 24
Loc: Houston, Texas
I think everyone has some issues similar to this. I don't think it's because you're the child of divorce. I was not, and I remember when I thought I didn't want someone when I didn't have them but didn't want them when I had them. Just means they aren't the right person. I agree, though, without all others that therapy (with a good therapist) is always good and a liberating experience.

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#679668 - 01/01/11 01:05 AM Re: Growing up with divorced parents [Re: MidGround4]
sfriedman Offline

recently joined

Registered: 12/26/10
Posts: 13
To Whom It May Concern:
My name is Samantha Friedman, an alumna of the University of California at Berkeley and Fordham University, and I am currently a doctoral clinical psychology student at Saybrook University (San Francisco). I am seeking adults between the ages of 20 and 35 who have experienced parental divorce in either childhood or adulthood to assist me in the completion of a study that examines the effects of parental divorce on marital attitudes and intimacy.

If you agree to participate in this study, please click on this link ([censored]://[censored].surveymonkey.com/s/TK8Q7GT) and complete the survey on SurveyMonkey.com. The online survey I am conducting is very easy to complete. The whole process is designed to take less than 10 minutes to complete. Participation in this study is completely voluntary and anonymous. You are free to not answer any question, to stop participating at any time for any reason, and to not have your information be part of the data set. All forms will be kept confidential; that is, no one will have knowledge of which questionnaire belongs to you.

The aim of my study is to learn about the psychological impact of parental divorce, particularly how the age at which parental divorce occurs influences attitudes towards marriage and intimacy. It is of particular importance to examine the effects of parental divorce on marital attitudes and levels of intimacy because they are indicators of relationship stability. The ultimate goal of this study is to acquire data that can be used to assist adult children of divorce in understanding the impact of mid- to late-life parental divorce and develop strategies that encourage healthy, lasting marriages.

Please contact me if you would like a summary of my findings when the project is finished. If you have any questions, please contact me at [email protected]

Thank you in advance for your time and assistance. I really appreciate your help and I am sincerely grateful.

Best wishes,

Samantha Friedman

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#679669 - 01/25/11 12:42 AM Re: Growing up with divorced parents [Re: sfriedman]
yregna Offline
veteran

Registered: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
Samantha,
Your project is about like a Muslim Male living in a muslim country that has a totalitarian muslim dominated government trying to do a study about how bad things are for women in his country.

You can't understand, because just like that muslim male, the law is totally on your side. Give it up...

Or as a female, move to Saudi Arabia, become a citizen, live there married to a saudi man for 10 years, then come back here and tell us all how wonderful Saudi women have it..get it ?
_________________________
"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..." "Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"

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#679670 - 07/04/11 07:09 AM Re: Growing up with divorced parents [Re: Tribal]
charlieangel523 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 07/04/11
Posts: 1
Loc: Aberdeen, Scotland
[quote]Hello,

I maybe in the wrong place for this or maybe I am in the right place...

anyway, I am now 25 and My parents split up when I was about 10 years old.

Feeling abandoned by my parents has led me to have relationships which don't seem healthy.

I have emotional damage from this and I am trying to find a solution or way of coping with it.

I have been in relationships where I fear commitment, half in half out, want her when i don't have her, don't want her when I do have her.

this is some nasty stuff. anyone have any guidance on where to go to deal with this stuff?

Thanks [/quote]

Have you tried seeking professional help from counsellors? I am sure they are able to help you.

Regards.
_________________________
Charlie Angel

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#679671 - 06/07/15 06:40 AM Re: Growing up with divorced parents [Re: Tribal]
kay257 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 06/07/15
Posts: 2
Hi- Your post is very old so I don't know if you still participate- but I have a question for you for my own benefit... As I contemplate divorce, but really don't want it. Do you have any siblings? I have one two-year old and I would like to have another child, even if we end up splitting someday, because I would like my child to have someone to go through life with (mostly the tough stuff) and not feel all alone. Just wondering your take on that. Some people want to wait to divorce 'til their children are "grown" at 18- which is still so young. Would that have done you any better? And I'm sorry you have felt the affects of your parents divorce for so long. That's a parent's worst fear. I hope you have found some help that is useful for your. <3

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