Hello, I am new here so please bare with me. I'd like to explain my situation and get some serious opinions.
I am 29y/o and have been married for 8yrs. I have 6 children. Three of my children are not my husbands. My 2 oldest father is in their life. My middle childs father is NOT involved in her life, she is almost 9y/o and my husband has taken care of her since she was 2 weeks old. Then my husband and I have 3 children together.
In the past 8yrs of marriage, I worked for a total of 4 months, I have been a stay at home mom.
Now while my husband has been a great financial support for us all, that is all that he is. I fell out of love with him awhile ago and its getting worse every day. There has been infidelity on both sides. My husband believes that he works so he should not have to come home and help with the house or the children. He does not allow me any time out as he does not want to watch the kids. I cannot have any male friends or he'd flip a lid. Our money isn't OUR money, its his money is his and my money is mine. I am NOT interested in having sex with him anymore because it lasts all of 5 minutes and he doesn't understand that at the end of the day, I am just exhausted and wore out from household duties and taking care of my 6 children all which are under the age of 12. If I turn down sex for him, he gets upset so I always end up giving in even though I don't want to.
I have been considering divorce for several months now but I am seriously scared to death! He always threatens that if I divorce him, he'll take my babies away (and mind you I'm a damn good mom). And not only that but I've been a stay at home mom for 8yrs. The only income I have is child support for my 3 oldest and that is just enough to cover rent in my house, not a penny leftover. I'm afraid that if I divorce him, I won't be able to support my children.
Please help me with any advice you can! I have no intention on getting marriage counseling, I don't want to work it out with him at all! Thanks!