I would like to obtain some input from others regarding this issue.
Background: I went overseas (non military) in 2009 to support family with a job. Could not take family. At end of the year contract wife filed for divorce.
2 boys with her, 2 daughters of her own (both of us married once prior)
She withheld communications with my children so I returned home and attempted to reconcile. She did not try to reconcile. She wanted a generic divorce with no parenting plan. I tried to get parenting plan in place with protections for the children.
During this time her oldest daughter went to college, youngest daughter left to go live with dad, far away.
Divorce finalized end of March and entered in court. 9 days later I was told by her that my boys met her boyfriend and did so at a pizza place where they ate and played games.
No prep or communication and I had no knowledge this was coming.
So in summary, the children were in separation anxiety while I was over seas for 11 months, mom filed for divorce, no battle but trying to get parenting plan in place for about 10 months. Children still want mom and dad together.
Divorce final March (late). Boys meet boyfriend right after divorce.
I am looking for an opinion on:
I feel that the bringing a new man into the children's lives right now is too much for them to handle. They are still recovering from the separation, shock of divorce and trying to get used to the current situation. They may perceive this as a threat to someone taking dad's place.
Also the ex has stated she has known about this man for a while (last summer) but got serious in Jan on 2011. Yet she stated also that she has not known him for long. (yes they have had relations prior to the divorce being finalized)
To introduce a man in a short relationship may not be good as if it does not work out then the boys are again thrust into turmoil yet again.