Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online

Page 1 of 2 1 2 >
Topic Options
#736831 - 12/02/11 06:37 PM Moving with Primary
Kay312010 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 12/02/11
Posts: 7
State-NC

I would like to move back to my hometown where all of my family is living.

Background- My ex and I are not from the state therefore either of us having family in the state. He is active duty. He deploys and travels frequently. He has missed numerous visitations due to this and he has EOW. He doesn't participation in our child's care or educational or medical.

We both have children from previous marriages. My other child leaves with me full time and his child is living with his grandmother due to the fact that my ex can not take care of the child due to his work schedule. His child lives 10 hours away.

We do not live in the same area. When we separate the ex moved 40 minutes away then deployed 4 months later. I decided to move 1 hour away since I have more friends in my new location to help me with both children. I am in extreme need of support from others because I have multiple disabilities due to being injured while in the military. I am on disability benefits.
The ex will be stationed to another base with 6 months- 2 years since he has been at the current base almost 3 years now.
We have a temp order but I have filed to move away. The trial continues to be delayed due to his numerous deployments. We have had 3 continual of the case. He does not agree to let me leave with our child even though he is hardly around and will leave the state soon.
His attorney has suggested mediation of ED and the custody but he won't agree to anything due to bitterness so I have to spend thousands on attorney.

That being said we was assigned 1 judge in the case but because the court calenders are full and ex's absences, we were assigned a different judge for temp custody. Now we have another new judge who is not familar with the case. I do have an attorney but he doesn't usually practice in the county but he is a excellent lawyer and very aggressive. He won me all I asked in the other issues. But he is not familiar with the judges in the county I live, so he can't tell me what to expect since there is not set standard for move away custody. He thinks I have a excellent case being that ex is always gone, he can't take custody and we don't have family in the state. I did have an attorney within the county but she was very rude and we didn't have a good relationship. She said the judge would let me but now we have a different judge again.

What are my chances?

If the judge doesn't let me move, will I need to stay in the state? I am just concern because I need to eliminate some stress to reduce disability side effects? I have had a few routine emergency surgeries like gallbladder and cyst, nothing major but require the kids to be with someone. Also, I attend the VA on a weekly based for treatment and pay a big daycare bill for my child's care.
What are my chances of a successful case for moving?

Top
#736832 - 12/02/11 09:08 PM Re: Moving with Primary [Re: Kay312010]
DeeCan Offline
veteran

Registered: 04/06/08
Posts: 1266
I think you're chances of a move away are good, but you are likely to be responsible for ALL transportation costs for his parenting time.
_________________________
Don't drink and park, accidents cause people.

Top
#736833 - 12/03/11 02:55 AM Re: Moving with Primary [Re: DeeCan]
Kay312010 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 12/02/11
Posts: 7
I would still pay ALL transportation even though I have very limited disability and he makes 3 times my income? I don't mind paying half but all would cause my budget to be very tight. What about lodging expenses (hotel)?

What is the best visitation plan to present to the judge?

I was thinking every 10 weeks, alternating major holidays and 6 weeks summer.

Can judge make ME stay if they don't feel child should move? Ex can't keep custody due to constant moving.


Edited by Kay312010 (12/03/11 02:56 AM)

Top
#736834 - 12/03/11 05:13 AM Re: Moving with Primary [Re: Kay312010]
DedicatedDad Offline
veteran

Registered: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
You can move to the moon if you want. A judge will never order to you to stay.

Top
#736835 - 12/03/11 07:05 PM Re: Moving with Primary [Re: DedicatedDad]
Kay312010 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 12/02/11
Posts: 7
That's why I thought but one Attoney I get advice from on a forum said the judge can order if it's in the best interest of child. Another told me they never seen it happen before but anything is possible with custody.

Top
#736836 - 12/03/11 07:50 PM Re: Moving with Primary [Re: Kay312010]
DedicatedDad Offline
veteran

Registered: 09/05/04
Posts: 1318
If a judge ordered it, it would never hold up for contempt charges because I doubt it's within the scope of the law. It would be like also writing that if either party is late dropping off the kids, they are subject 50 lashes from the police. You can write that way, a judge can sign off on it...but good luck getting it enforced.

Top
#736837 - 12/06/11 09:06 PM Re: Moving with Primary [Re: DedicatedDad]
Maury Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 8182
Loc: This Asylum --->
As you state, she can move wherever she desires. The child cannot. The Judge can change custody.

Top
#736838 - 12/07/11 03:23 AM Re: Moving with Primary [Re: Maury]
Kay312010 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 12/02/11
Posts: 7
Quote:
As you state, she can move wherever she desires. The child cannot. The Judge can change custody.

Thanks! But what happens if he can't maintain custody? He travels and deploys frequently. He sees the child maybe 5-6 times a year.

Top
#736839 - 12/08/11 10:31 PM Re: Moving with Primary [Re: Kay312010]
Maury Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 8182
Loc: This Asylum --->
Those are arguments made in court related to more permanent changes in custody.

Top
#736840 - 12/09/11 08:06 PM Re: Moving with Primary [Re: Maury]
Kay312010 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 12/02/11
Posts: 7
I already have custody. I am requesting to move through a mod of custody given the fact that he can't/won't take custody due to his instability. Will I have a greater chance of being able to move by family out of state given the fact he is hardly in the state?

Top
#736841 - 12/13/11 04:41 PM Re: Moving with Primary [Re: Kay312010]
Maury Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 8182
Loc: This Asylum --->
It is possible and certainly an argument to be made. A counter argument is that the other parent is serving this country in a temporary fashion and will reestablish in the State when the deployment is over. Allowing a move-away under such circumstances may be argued as a baad precedent in regard to military members. the result may depend on the effectiveness of your presentation as part of a motion.

Top
#736842 - 12/15/11 01:17 AM Re: Moving with Primary [Re: Kay312010]
Runswithscissors Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 05/30/04
Posts: 13394
What are you offering him when he is home?

Top
#736843 - 12/17/11 03:33 AM Re: Moving with Primary [Re: Runswithscissors]
Kay312010 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 12/02/11
Posts: 7
I don't see that argument because he has a child from a previous relationship that lives out of state with his parents that he consents. He will not reestablish in the state because he is due to get a change of duty stations in the next 6 months - 2 years. He is also not from the state so either way he will be long distance parenting. I recently learned that NC is a state in favor of relocation and the non moving parent has the burden to prove the move could harm the child so I am hoping it will go in my favor. I am also hoping that the judge will question HIS motive for denying the move based on the fact that he asked me to wait until he returned from his last deployment of a full year then stated he doesn't know when he will leave or return, he is not active in our child's life and he has another child that is not in his care because he is unable to provide stability or care for them.

When we attend mediation I offered to pay half of transportation fees. The reason is because my income is limited due to disability and he makes a lot of money traveling. Once he leaves NC he will have to pay to see her anyway so I feel he should be responsible for a least half. I also offered 6 weeks summer, alternating holidays and Springbreaks and every 8 weeks. Also Skype every other day at 7pm-8pm.

Top
#736844 - 12/19/11 04:32 PM Re: Moving with Primary [Re: Kay312010]
Maury Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/02/04
Posts: 8182
Loc: This Asylum --->
Generally, the party relocating will have the burden of more than half of the transportation fees if those fees are created due to the relocation. That really is not much of an offer if you are seeking an agreement. There is very little incentive not to roll the dice in court.

Top
#736845 - 12/19/11 06:30 PM Re: Moving with Primary [Re: Kay312010]
Kay312010 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 12/02/11
Posts: 7
In NC, the burden is on the non moving parent as it is not seen as a substanial change in circumstances. But you still need to have approval from other parent or court. I just don't know how heavy the burden has to be. My attorney scheduled a 2 day trial and mediation. That's going to be a lot of money when he knows he can't have primary and it will be more likely that I have a good chance given NC is favorable with relocation unless other parent can prove it's a substanial change which would trigger a change in custody that he can't even take.

Top
Page 1 of 2 1 2 >



Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: