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#740143 - 01/09/12 05:53 PM Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X.
haventstartedyet Offline

member

Registered: 10/02/10
Posts: 133
I don't know how to shorten this, but I'll try. I agreed to meet X at a 1/2 way point so he could take the children back to his home. This is a 10 hour drive total for me and the same for the X. I have to rent a car when I do this because my 18 yr. old car is unreliable & can't be taken on long trips for fear of breaking down. I am a full-time student & I don't currently work.

Before the visit, I had spoken to X in length about his new living situation. He is no longer in base housing and lives in a house about 20 minutes from the base. In speaking with him, he completely lied to me so that I wouldn't give him any issues with visiting with the children. When I asked him who lived in the house with him, he told me a guy friend lived there. When I pressed him further, I found out he has a gf and her son living there as well. The son is 16 yrs. old. Per our divorce decree, it is clearly stated that we are not to have any adult of the opposite sex(gf or bf)unrelated staying overnight in the home while the children are there. He assured me that the gf and her son were not going to be staying overnight when the children were there. Fast forward...I pick up the children at the 1/2way point and come to find out, the gf and son did spend every single night there....and the gf stayed in the same room with X every night. Obviously X blatantly lied and went against the divorce decree.

Here are my 2 issues: First, I want to know what I can do since obviously X is lieing and went against the divorce decree. Secondly, since I am not working and I can not afford to rent a car every time the children will visit with X...do i have a leg to stand on to get this part of the divorce decree changed? I would like for him to have to pick up the girls and bring them back. I will gladly go to court to do what I need to do.

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#740144 - 01/09/12 10:08 PM Re: Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X. [Re: haventstartedyet]
Renny Offline

addict

Registered: 09/24/11
Posts: 479
Briefly, imo, even if you can prove the gf is spending the night (your son could testify), the judge will probably just warn your ex to abide by the CO. Your son is old enough to have input in any modification of custody decisions and he might actually prefer living with your ex. In sum, given the age of your son and the expense and difficulty of proving the overnights and the likely result, I would let it go.

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#740145 - 01/09/12 10:48 PM Re: Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X. [Re: Renny]
elliesmom Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 11/07/05
Posts: 8852
A judge very well could just remove the requirement about overnights. You won't get much traction with this unless this woman is dangerous. Generally judges don't like to police morality.

If memory serves you moved back home? You should be grateful you only have to make half the trip. Usually the person who moves must do all the travel.
_________________________
Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.

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#740146 - 01/10/12 05:18 AM Re: Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X. [Re: elliesmom]
annieo Offline

veteran

Registered: 07/07/10
Posts: 1499
you could drive one way and the ex the other you take them all the way and he then he returns them all the way - it is highly unlikely you would be successful in having him do all the transport given you moved and in most cases the ONE who MOVES provides ALL transport.

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#740147 - 01/10/12 10:07 PM Re: Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X. [Re: haventstartedyet]
Miranda Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
Not wokring with children is really not an option for you. How are you living? You will be expected to contribture towards your children's expenses.

You will have a hard time enforcing the morality portion of your decree. How often are your kids even going there?
_________________________
13.1...because I am only half crazy!

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#740148 - 01/26/12 07:41 PM Re: Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X. [Re: Miranda]
haventstartedyet Offline

member

Registered: 10/02/10
Posts: 133
Thx for the comments.

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#740149 - 10/22/16 12:53 AM Re: Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X. [Re: haventstartedyet]
haventstartedyet Offline

member

Registered: 10/02/10
Posts: 133
I wanted to explain our current situation. Both the X & I both have moved out of GA now. I still live in Maryland & he is living in TN, where he intends to stay. With this being the case, wouldn't this most definitely give me a leg to stand on in asking for the X to have to either pick up the children & return them....or have him pay for a plane trip to & from?

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#740150 - 10/24/16 01:08 AM Re: Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X. [Re: haventstartedyet]
haventstartedyet Offline

member

Registered: 10/02/10
Posts: 133
To answer how often they visit? Once or twice a year. Also, he makes double & a 1/2 what I make in a year and he pays so little child support & that happened because he wouldn't sign the divorce papers until I agreed to the ridiculous low amount he wanted to pay. I work full-time and have for over 2 years. We've been divorced almost 3 1/2 years. I went to college before that & received my Associates degree for the field I currently work in. I suppose the point I'm making is that he is more than financially capable of paying for seeing his children. And actually now, our 16 year old has had a falling out with him & did not go to visit over this past summer. We ended up splitting the cost of a plane ticket for our youngest daughter. I'm just agrivated over the whole thing because I have the children most of the time while he pays this measly amount of child support & only sees them once or twice a year...this year he only saw one child. Honestly, I'm ready to head back to court over these issues.

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#740151 - 10/24/16 11:27 PM Re: Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X. [Re: haventstartedyet]
MinnesotaMom Offline

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 792
Your focus seems nearly 100% focused on money rather than the children. And, since you did not enforce your son going this last summer, you are in contempt of court.

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#740152 - 10/25/16 12:18 AM Re: Divorced...update....children Xmas visit w/ X. [Re: MinnesotaMom]
haventstartedyet Offline

member

Registered: 10/02/10
Posts: 133
It is my daughter..I don't have any sons. You don't know the situation where my X told my 15 yr old daughter she was b--ch & many other explitives over something so ridiculous. He made her cry & she wanted to kill herself. This is why she didn't go. Was I supposed to get the police involved & force her on the plane? You have to be kidding me. It doesn't seem like you actually read my post. I said he rarely sees them & pays barely any child support...this is why I said he should pay to see his children. We have now both moved out of the state the divorce was filed in, so there is no reason why I should be solely responsible for their transportation(that in itself is ridiculous). If he makes 2 1/2 times more than me & hardly ever sees them..what is wrong with any of what I said? I am trying to get my children taken care of. If that requires money from a father that rarely sees their children..I don't see the issue & have no idea where you're getting the idea I'm all about money. I work full-time & have my own place with my children. I am doing my best & I need more help from him. Where am I at fault here?

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