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#745729 - 03/19/12 08:52 PM Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: LexieBelle]
ssmom79 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/27/07
Posts: 7988
Yea, that's what she said three times already. His house, his rules. Her house, her rules. She (even I) explained that despite her own feelings on cell phones, it's his house his rules and vice versa. So he can't go to her house and say no cell phones any more than she can say they have to use it. Do you not agree with that?

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#745730 - 03/19/12 09:56 PM Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: ssmom79]
Redlegg Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 10/06/06
Posts: 27903
The solution is simple, they come through the door, they hand over the phones. You let Mom know she can call them on the house phone. It has to make sense to no one, it is your house, your kids, and you are responsible for them while they are there. When they leave, hand them their phones. Me personally, I am not sure how them using a cell phone to talk to their mom is going to speed up their growing process, since they apparently use the internet to skype, and who knows, they may even watch cable TV. The key to any of that is supervision.

You only have to let them talk to their mom, there is nothing that says how, heck, have them write letters and mail them for all anyone should care. She wants to threaten legal action, have at it, you are not denying them access. A cell phone is nothing more than a tool, like the internet, like a car, like a stove. With the proper supervision, they are fine, and can make life easier. They can also complicate life if there are no controls. The best part is that they are not a need, they are a nice to have, and they don't have to have them. You follow the order, you do what you think is best, and no one should even care as long as you are within the order.

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#745731 - 03/19/12 10:37 PM Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: LexieBelle]
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
Do you have high blood pressure? The smallest things seem to set you off. Calm down!

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#745732 - 03/19/12 10:42 PM Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: ssmom79]
M5M5 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/29/05
Posts: 11830
I agree. I don't agree with small kids having cell phones either. My son (14) has one, and it's VERY limited. My daughter will probably get one next year when she enters middle school (again, VERY limited). My skids had unlimited everything since they were about 12/13...which I think is totally unsafe (esp. the internet).

ETA: When my skids first came over with the cells their mom gave them, we didn't like it either. We felt like she was trying to interfere with our time...and she did...the kids were all the time checking in with her, even after she put the GPS tracking on their phones. DH put up a fuss at first, but it became a constant fight...he just gave in.


Edited by M5M5 (03/19/12 10:48 PM)

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#745733 - 03/19/12 11:08 PM Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: LexieBelle]
gr8Dad Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/07/04
Posts: 31796
Yep, and she will go to legal aid, where they will assign a new lawyer, who will file just for PRACTICE, then he will have to hire a lawyer to defend the action, and it cost him money and time.

OOOOOORRRRR, he can take up the phones, allow the kids to talk to Mom on them, and avoid the cost, let Mom think she won, and all is good.
_________________________
Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...

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#745734 - 03/19/12 11:16 PM Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: gr8Dad]
farmdwg Offline

recently joined

Registered: 03/19/12
Posts: 4
I'm starting to think that I might allow the kids access to the phone for calls only, not txt messages. My ex uses txt messages as her primary contact method, but I saw what it did to my daughter yesterday. She was sitting by the thing waiting on a dream for a txt message. I cannot have her life be interrupted by her sitting there for a txt message.

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#745735 - 03/20/12 12:11 AM Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: farmdwg]
MrsB Offline

Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/04/10
Posts: 6355
Oh absolutely. That goes for anyone!

It's how the phone is used that makes a difference.

Personally I am not a fan of young kids having cell phones either - but you can also take the situation and turn it in to something positive. Set rules. Teach responsibility. It will only have a negative affect if you allow it to gave a negative affect.

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#745736 - 03/20/12 12:13 AM Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: farmdwg]
NikkiL Offline
addict

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 644
Im sorry I dont see what the big deal is. Its communication with their parent. Unless she is calling all the time, why would you care? I personally loved it when my son got a cell and his dad started calling him on it...it took me out of the mix. He wasnt calling my home phone and I didnt really have to hear his snarly voice on a regular basis. I found it to be quite nice. Had I known how nice it would be, I would have gotten him a cell phone long before I did.
Your kids are not going to spend day and night waiting for a text. The phone is new...its all fun when its new, my guess is at their age, within a few weeks it will be old news and they will lose track of them. I just think you are making a bigger deal out of it than you need to. Let it run its course and dont stand in the way of the kids communicating with the other parent.

My sons dad lived out of state and its hard on kids to be far away from the other parent. Just because you can limit the contact, doesnt mean you should.

I also dont get this big fit people throw about kids having cell phones. My kids have cell phones and I assure you it doesnt stop them from being kids. My daughter is outside digging up worms and riding her bike. We have video games, tvs, phones, computers and she is outside playing. But if she goes to a friends house, I can call her and tell her to come home for dinner...kind of nice really.

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#745737 - 03/20/12 12:23 AM Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: NikkiL]
MrsB Offline

Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 07/04/10
Posts: 6355
Good post Nikki. Nice to hear it from someone in a similar situation :).

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#745738 - 03/20/12 12:31 AM Re: Kids and Cell Phone from Ex [Re: MrsB]
c_jane Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 1951
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
Getting DS a cell phone was one of the best things I EVER did. Dad DID try to limit our contact ("no, don't call your Mom now. We're going to eat dinner/go somewhere/you're going to take a bath/ etc. in a few minutes.")

Now DS doesn't have to let Dad know how much he really talks to me. We text each other right before bed to say goodnight. Often when we're both up late on a weekend night we might play Scrabble online. And I never have to hear his Dad's or his SM's voice!!
_________________________
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.

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