Wasting your time or worth fighting? Thats the million dollar question. If you knew the answer to that it would be so easy.
The X of my LTM told me he didn't love me anymore, needed to find himself. As most of us do, I hung on and tried desparately to save the marriage, counseling, changing it up, everything...and at the end of the day it was a waste of time. He had already checked out and was on his way to the OW.
I truly believe in saving a marriage but on the flip side if the other partner does not want to then its a waste of time. In my case it was a waste of time as he was not honest. He wanted the OW and he wanted out.
Looking back it would have been so much better if he had just told the truth instead of the lame excuses that they say that are not happy, not sure what to do, blah, blah, blah...
I have been divorced for 12 yrs now. It was hard and it was sad. While it was hard on me it was worst for the kids. Our children were in their teens. We lived going through the motions before he left.
I dont know any sure fire way of knowing what to do because each situation is different. Divorce is really hard and very very hurtful. But it doesnt' have to be.
My best advice is be honest with him and find out what he really wants to do. Looking back I see no benefit in staying together for the children if one partner has checked out. You deserve more than that.
I have not quite figured out how to save a marriage and fight for it when the other partner wants to leave if anyone knows the answer to that it would solve all the problems of broken marriages.
I hope your marriage can be saved but if not I would focus very hard at making the split amicable and non bitter which is so hard.
As I look back I berate myself for hanging on to this man who no longer wanted me. It was so incredibly stupid on my part but thats human nature I guess. Its normal to want to save the marriage for the kids, ourselves, etc. But the dynamics are hard to work with when the other person isn't into it.
Everyone deserves to be happy and sometimes after divorce, we all can be happy or reach different goals and find a place to be content with.
Again I hope you can save your marriage, plan for that but also have a back up plan for the alternative.
And if thats the alternative, focus on one that presents the most positive options for the kids as they will be totally hurt and sometimes very angry, at that point it becomes all about them and how to make it less painful for them.