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#750644 - 06/11/12 05:30 PM He's in a rebound
MommaK Offline

recently joined

Registered: 06/11/12
Posts: 6
I know when your ex moves straight to a new relationship, its a rebound. We separated March 1, he met her April 16 at a bar, and filed April 27. How often do these 'undying love' things work? He's already told our kids about her, and they are constantly together. By the way, she's well known in our town for going through men fast.

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#750645 - 06/11/12 07:07 PM Re: He's in a rebound [Re: MommaK]
MommaK Offline

recently joined

Registered: 06/11/12
Posts: 6
I just re read that, and what I'm asking is, how long does a rebound usually last?

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#750646 - 06/11/12 10:46 PM Re: He's in a rebound [Re: MommaK]
finz Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/17/08
Posts: 6756
I think that's like asking how long a marriage usually lasts.

Do you really want to know the "average" ? That isn't going to tell you when, or if, his new relationship will end.

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#750647 - 06/12/12 04:11 PM Re: He's in a rebound [Re: MommaK]
ssmom79 Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/27/07
Posts: 7988
Some 'rebounds' last forever. Depends on the people involved, what they have invested, what they're willing to do in a relationship, how willing they are to compromise...etc. Too many variables to assume the answer.

If she is well known for going through men fast, then seems like you have a short wait but she will move on soon enough.

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#750648 - 06/12/12 10:48 PM Re: He's in a rebound [Re: ssmom79]
finz Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/17/08
Posts: 6756
I think it's more important to focus on YOU now MK.....not waiting for him and his relationship to end.

I believe everyone should do what is reasonably possible to do to save a marriage. Waiting for your spouse to finish up his new relationship so that you can try to salvage your marriage is NOT reasonable, in my book.

I think it's possible to get over a past infidelity, or if he left you and started fooling around and came running back BEGGING for forgiveness.....but I can't see being happy to get him back, not because he "saw the light" and realized his mistake, but because his new trollup finished with him and he has nothing new lined up.

Don't lower yourself to settle for that.

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#750649 - 06/13/12 06:59 PM Re: He's in a rebound [Re: finz]
MommaK Offline

recently joined

Registered: 06/11/12
Posts: 6
No, I'm not waiting. It just gripes me that my kids have to deal with it. She's welcome to him, she's been with so many men I wouldn't want him back now. I just want to point and laugh when they crash and 'the greatest love ever' (after 2 months) is in shreds.

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#750650 - 06/14/12 03:59 AM Re: He's in a rebound [Re: MommaK]
finz Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/17/08
Posts: 6756
I don't doubt you'll get your satisfaction over that soon.

I'm relieved to hear that you aren't waiting on him to get him back.

I think a parade of relationships is hard on kids. I think the sudden change of "I was with your mommy, but now I am sooooo in love with this new chick" is hard on kids.....especially if you have been teaching them that sex or living together outside of marriage is not okay.

I think moving on after a seperation while heading towards divorce is okay, but I wouldn't introduce a new love this early (personally, I wouldn't until the divorce is final).

Unfortunately, stbx spouses are allowed to have a different moral compass than you do, or what they claimed to believe in when you were together.

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#750651 - 06/14/12 12:44 PM Re: He's in a rebound [Re: finz]
MommaK Offline

recently joined

Registered: 06/11/12
Posts: 6
So true. When our oldest told him what he was doing is wrong, he replied, "But I'm single..". Oops, sorry, but no you're not, not yet anyway.. But at least when this is over I can honestly say that I conducted myself with dignity through it all.

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#750652 - 06/15/12 02:42 AM Re: He's in a rebound [Re: MommaK]
finz Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/17/08
Posts: 6756
Yup !

Try (tempting though it may be) not to make snarky remarks about stbx's new love/living situation with the kids. They'll take note on their own.

Focus on trying to help them be happy

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