Be careful. He can file an emergency custody order if he wants to have you remain in Va. Otherwise, either parent can take the children if they are biologically both of yours. This can be tricky. I moved aay from MI with the kiddos, but i told my stbx about my intent (that will help to cover yourself legally, esp. if you write a letter) the day before I left town. It is VERY expensive to get a temporary/emergency custody hearing, but if your stbx is wanting custody. If your husband is telling you to leave, then DO SO. I left to go back home too where I had support. The stbx eventually followed. Same situation. He had everything in MI, a dream job, everything he ever wanted. There was nothing there for me. I wanted to be back home. Now we are playing "the waiting game" as my home state has the waiting period of 180 days to re-establish residency (unless you had a mailing address back in CA, or some other proof that you maintained residency in that state, you might not have to wait as long). It is difficult with minor children. Make sure you are willing to do whatever it takes and have the support necessary back in CA to move. Save your money, divide your acocunts. You will need to be wise with three (I also have three, my eldest just turned 6). Good luck and God Speed. P.S. it is fair to move the children if you are the sole custodian and mother & are looking out to provide for them on your own and you are serious about divorcing your husband. You have to act as a single parent. You haveing the financial means to support your three children IS fair. He can decide what he would like to do. "fair" is an extremely SUBJECTIVE term. Not a legal one.