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#760579 - 03/20/13 09:51 PM internet affairs-addiction cause for divorce?
walneddo Offline

recently joined

Registered: 03/20/13
Posts: 1
A while back my marriage hit the wall. My wife discovered that I had been going to internet "adult" sites which I had thought was quite normal. However I discovered that not only did she not consider it normal but that she considered it infidelity and that she was furious. Not only angry but wounded- felt ugly and rejected. Bottom line was-quit the online smut or quit the marriage...so I agrreed to quit going to the sites.

OK! Except much to my amazement it wasn't so easy to lay it down. In fact it appeared that I had developed an addiction to online smut and couldn't seem to say away from it. So I found myself staying at work late or getting up early and getting online- feeling really cruddy about it but did it anyway. I mean what was more important duhhhh but...

So she busted me again, ultimatum time. It was a no brainer to me, I love her and the kids and the online sex is stupid but it had a grip on me. I later discovered that internet sexual images is incredibly addictive to men, it stimulates the same centers in the brain as crack cocaine and we know how hard it is to kick crack.

So I finally disocvered a solution. An internet filter. I put a software wall between me and the sites and for a while it really worked well. But then I discovered that if I would only keep trying I could sooner or later break through the filter to a [censored] site and back to the mess. What now?

I the discovered that the filter also had an option called accountability reporting. This is an alert system that you can set up to send a text or email to an accountability partner such as a friend-or my wife which would alert them that I was trying to get to the [censored] sites. It would bust me. It worked. After I was busted the first time by my best friend and received an embarrasing call I decided that I would just stay clean. Weak willed? No doubt...but still married? Yes. There are a number of these filters around, I use one called [url=[censored]://[censored].wisechoice.net]Wisechoice Filter[/url] and it has been a marriage saver for me. Does anyone have any similar stories?

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#760580 - 05/25/16 06:50 PM Re: internet affairs-addiction cause for divorce? [Re: walneddo]
khsmiley Offline

newbie

Registered: 05/24/16
Posts: 26
I don't have a similar story, but do have some comments.

It's not just addictive to men, but women, too. But it's good that you discovered the addictive nature of pornography. There are many studies that show that [censored] addiction can be treated with behavioral modification. Have you sought professional counseling to see if it could be helpful?

My fiancee uses [censored] quite often and I find that it causes me to have a negative view of myself when I find out that he's been looking at it, even though I look at [censored] probably more often than him. Still, it's unsettling to see the type of "smut" that people look at when they think they aren't being watched. Ultimately, your desire to look at [censored] isn't a knock on her....it actually has nothing to do with her. But that's hard to us ladies to understand.

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