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#767214 - 05/01/14 07:19 PM Re: 4th Marriage [Re: c_jane]
Otis1352 Offline

journeyman

Registered: 07/20/13
Posts: 74
Loc: Kingwood, Texas
My attorney seems to think we can at least get custody modified. Hope for 50/50 custody or at least expanded visitation. It all depends on what my ex decides to do. If she get married and plans to move to Dallas, she will screw herself. The judge is not going to allow her to leave with our DD. If he comes her, well all I can do is try. At least our judge is father friendly. I have to try and do what I think is best for my DD.
It is a very screwed up system. I see way too many parents that do not deserve to have custody of kids. From my side, I see too many good father that get screwed.

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#767215 - 05/05/14 03:27 PM Re: 4th Marriage [Re: Otis1352]
RedskinFan Offline
enthusiast

Registered: 01/23/06
Posts: 276
I was going to suggest you get the papers modified to reflect your actual custody situation. While you are doing that, you can see if you can add the move away clause in your papers as well. I would not wait until after they are married to get the ball rolling, do it now. It will take some time, and you will want this settled by the time school starts again.

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#767216 - 05/06/14 04:14 PM Re: 4th Marriage [Re: RedskinFan]
Otis1352 Offline

journeyman

Registered: 07/20/13
Posts: 74
Loc: Kingwood, Texas
We already have a geographic restriction clause in our divorce decree. She cannot move to Dallas without filing to modify. I have spoke to my attorney and he said the same thing. File now and try to get our court documents to reflect my actual visitation. Which is basically 50/50. We will request a family study be ordered if they are planning on getting married. I have been thru this before. They should be more afraid of this then going in front of the judge. This is where the "small stuff" matters (the affairs, not meeting his son, and all the other issues). My ex and I had to go thru one when we got married. Now the plan is to wait till June to file. We want to establish as much 50/50 co-parenting time as possible. My attorney feels this would look better to the judge and strengthen my case.

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#767217 - 05/09/14 10:10 PM Re: 4th Marriage [Re: Otis1352]
Curmudgeon Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 2030
Loc: MO Ozarks
Have you been keeping a calendar or other record of the times you've had your daughter at your home? If not, I'd certainly start one.

I have to ask, is any of this simply get-back aimed at your ex? You sound very angry.

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#767218 - 05/09/14 10:23 PM Re: 4th Marriage [Re: Curmudgeon]
BeachBabeRN Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/17/06
Posts: 3236
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
You're making me dizzy!!!!! You've used both your handles in three days!!!!!

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#767219 - 05/10/14 03:51 AM Re: 4th Marriage [Re: BeachBabeRN]
Curmudgeon Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 2030
Loc: MO Ozarks
Me too. I think I'll stick with this one.

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#767220 - 05/14/14 04:58 PM Re: 4th Marriage [Re: Curmudgeon]
Otis1352 Offline

journeyman

Registered: 07/20/13
Posts: 74
Loc: Kingwood, Texas
Yes, I have a calendar and I keep a journal of everything that goes on. This way I will remember exact times and dates. It is not pay back towards my ex. Yes, I am very angry. I have watched my ex go thru 3 engagement in the last 5 years. I have listen to my DD tell me how neglected she feel by her mom. I have watched my DD live in poverty and do without all while my ex is going on cruises and trips out of town. Here is a good example. This past Mother's day weekend my DD should have been with her mother all weekend. Instead my DD was with me until 7pm Sunday night. The ex was out of town with her man. She had promised to be home at 1pm on Sunday to take my DD to get a mani/ pedi because she had a presentation to do at school the following Monday. At 3pm, she finally called only to tell my DD she would not be home until 7pm. I watched my DD melt down because she was let down by her mother once again. She tried to claim she did not know she was supposed to have her DD for Mother's day weekend. Really?? She has 2 other kids from her second marriage and has been doing this for 15 years. She knew she was supposed to have her, but it was more important to be out of town with him. There is a lot more to this then I have told, but it has 100% to do with what is best for my child and nothing to do with getting back at my ex.

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#767221 - 05/17/14 04:29 PM Re: 4th Marriage [Re: Otis1352]
Curmudgeon Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 06/03/05
Posts: 2030
Loc: MO Ozarks
Sounds reasonable to me!

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#767222 - 05/20/14 12:50 AM Re: 4th Marriage [Re: Otis1352]
finz Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 06/17/08
Posts: 6756
Quote:
She has 2 other kids from her second marriage and has been doing this for 15 years.


************************************

And KNOWING that, you chose to make a baby with her.

Much of the background info you have given here regarding your ex can make your judgement sound questionable. You'll want to avoid that in front of the judge.

The stories that I have read from people who were successful in their custody fights usually focus on the positive things that they are doing to parent their children, not the negative things their exes are doing unless there are clear cases of abuse or neglect, in which case CPS should be involved.

No one here is disagreeing with you that your ex sounds like a loser. Be careful about focusing too much on that; it can make you look bad.

Focus on your close relationship with your daughter, how involved you are with her schooling, extracurriculars, doctor appts, etc Keep track of how much extra time you get with her when your ex gives up her time. Look for specifics like excessive tardiness or absenteeism from school on ex's time with perfect attendance on your time, etc

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#767223 - 05/21/14 07:55 PM Re: 4th Marriage [Re: finz]
Otis1352 Offline

journeyman

Registered: 07/20/13
Posts: 74
Loc: Kingwood, Texas
The comment about having 2 other kids was pertaining to knowing she should have had our DD for Mother's day weekend. She tried to claim she did not know. She has been divorced from her other husband for 15 years. She should know that she has her children. She had her other 2 kids that weekend. I agree with what you are saying. I am sure my attorney will focus on the positive things. Like I said, I have my DD everyday after school. I am the one who helps with homework daily. I have all the extra time documented. I have all the dates of when ex gave up her time. I have school records that show the dates of when my DD has missed school. Unfortunately, I have been thru this for a long time. I have become pretty good at the documentation part of it.

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