Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online

Topic Options
#769268 - 01/14/15 04:54 PM New here and need some parenting advice.
Ultraviolet Offline

recently joined

Registered: 01/14/15
Posts: 1
Hello all.

I am new here as well as new to being a single mom (divorced in August after 16 years of marriage)of three children (ages 14,12,8).

I am faced with a parenting dilemma that I hope you can help me with.

Let me start by saying I was married to a wealthy man and my children have grown up very privileged (beautiful home, travel, etc.). I see my work as a parent now, while the kids are with me, to not let them to grow up to be entitled people but to be recognize that 99.9% of the world has less than they do and to live lives that are kind, compassionate and not $ focused.

Here is my problem (and this 'problem' is not a problem at all - this I recognize). I talked to a friend this past week and mentioned that I was really looking forward to the football play offs, how I had never been to a game and asked if he had any leads on tickets. He responded instantly that he had 2 and that they were mine! Of course, I got so excited for myself and instantly thought of taking my 12 year old son who is a rabid Pats fan (I would have to ask his dad to have him for the day). My BF, of 1 year, instantly grew angry with me and said that how self centered it was to ask my rich friends for tickets and then to consider taking my son to the game. What would this be teaching him except that these types of experiences are 'normal' that if you have $ and connections that you can have whatever you want? Wasn't that what I was trying to avoid? On top of that, I would be asking his father to take him away on his time for something incredibly extravagant and frivolous.

At the same time, my son's father and grandfather (my father) think that this is an incredible opportunity to spend time with him and have an experience that may never happen again in his lifetime. My BF thinks that I don't need to take him to this game to have a special time and that if I want to do something so big with him - that the two of us should plan for it, he should work for it and have it be something to look forward to.

I am completely torn about what to do. I will go to the game no matter what. I would love to have my little guy sitting next to me (he still has no idea about any of this) more than anything, but I also want to do what is right. I feel that the relationship that I have with my boyfriend is very strong and I want to support him but I am wondering if his point of view is extreme?

Thank you for any thoughts you could share. I know this is a frivolous issue and I appreciate you taking the time.

Top
#769269 - 01/14/15 05:24 PM Re: New here and need some parenting advice. [Re: Ultraviolet]
BeachBabeRN Offline
Carpal \'Tunnel

Registered: 01/17/06
Posts: 3236
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
Take the kid, lose the guy......quick.

Top
#769270 - 01/14/15 06:58 PM Re: New here and need some parenting advice. [Re: BeachBabeRN]
c_jane Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 04/07/07
Posts: 1951
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
Quote:
Take the kid, lose the guy......quick.


Agree. Sounds like BF is angry that you didn't think to invite HIM instead of your son. He's selfish. You do NOT need a man to help you raise your kids. You do what you think is best.

If you insist on keeping the guy (which I would have already booted him to the door) tell him smilingly "Thanks for your input but Kiddo's dad thinks it's a great idea & has no problem giving up a day so we're going."

FYI: I am the cheapest, thriftiest person you will meet and I can make Abe Lincoln scream by the way I rub my pennies together, but I've taken my son on cruises, halfway across the country on an Amtrak trip, to foreign countries, etc. Being frugal or recognizing the meaning of money and "doing without" does NOT mean living life with NO priveleges.
_________________________
John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.

Top
#769271 - 02/02/16 12:17 PM Re: New here and need some parenting advice. [Re: c_jane]
HollyJohnson Offline

recently joined

Registered: 02/02/16
Posts: 1
I think firstly you must secure the future of your kids. If they will stay in this environment, it will not be good for them. The best choice for you is to enroll them to the best long island preschool, so that they can have a disciplined environment with all the essential education which will give them bright future and after that you can sort out your issues. You can get more advices and information at callingallkidsagain.com online.


Edited by HollyJohnson (02/02/16 12:20 PM)

Top



Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: