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#770190 - 06/29/15 03:43 PM I want divorce; husband does not.
Traceface Offline

recently joined

Registered: 06/29/15
Posts: 8
Hi, friends. My husband is a raging alcoholic and I want out of this nightmare as soon as possible. My mental and physical well-being are at an all time low. He is very difficult to live with in our 950 sq ft condo. He drinks 24/7 and I cannot sleep. I work full time on no sleep at all sometimes. It's effecting my health. I've told him several times that I want a divorce but he does not want one and will not leave. I would like to stay in the condo we share and for him to move and do all his drinking elsewhere. He will always be an alcoholic and I do not wish to stay with him if he tries to get help (again - never works). He is mentally unstable and I'm scared. Lately, because I will not share affection wit him, he has started groping me. Makes me very uncomfortable. Anyway, the condo is in my name. I bought the condo 6 months before we met then he moved in. Against my better judgment, I married him in 2009. In hindsight, he manipulated and me into marriage. His drinking got worse after we married. Thankfully, we do not have children together. I feel like he should be man, cut our losses and get his own place but he won't. He is going to stalk and haunt me the rest of my life. If and when he goes away, and I pray that he does - he will not go away nicely or quietly. I have 4 cats that I adore. I can't move in with friends or family because most are allergic to cats or have animals of their own. I can't move into an apartment because the mortgage and 1 car payment are in my name. I do not think I would qualify for an apartment lease. He drives a car that was mine - it is paid for and in my name. I'm afraid he'll get a DWI or worse that he'll hurt people when he drives drunk to the store to buy more beer. I do not want anyone to die, I do not want to get sued, I do not want my family to get sued becaue I'm married to this unresponsible man. He has a really good job. Makes almost $100k a year. Somehow manages to keep his job as an alcoholic. I do not want anything from him - monetarily or possessions. He can have all the furniture, tv's whatever. I don't want any of his 401k. We already have separate bank accounts. I just want my condo, my cats and my name back. I try to speak to him rationally, calmly, intelligently, lovingly...he just won't get it. I need help.

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#770191 - 06/29/15 09:05 PM Re: I want divorce; husband does not. [Re: Traceface]
oldsmom Offline

member

Registered: 06/08/15
Posts: 100
Get an attorney to help you submit a restraining order. The attorney can also coach you on the local laws. Since the condo is only in your name, you should be able to change the locks, and leave his stuff on the front porch.

Here's what *I* would do: Have the attorney draw up the papers. Try to include a restraining order.

Once those are ready, solicit a half dozen male friends, family, or colleagues to come hang out at your house when the hubby goes out. If you don't have any, call the police and ask if they can come over for a domestic stand-by. Once you have the witnesses in place, change the locks. It's not hard. You can buy the locks at a hardware store. When hubby shows back up he will see the locks are in place and raise a fuss. Open the door, and hand him the divorce papers and restraining order.

It's clean, efficient, and as safe as you are going to get while still living at that condo.

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#770192 - 06/30/15 08:59 PM Re: I want divorce; husband does not. [Re: oldsmom]
Traceface Offline

recently joined

Registered: 06/29/15
Posts: 8
Hi, I thought I sent a reply to oldsmom but I guess I forgot to hit submit. Thanks for your advice! I like it. Getting an attorney today. Things should get interesting but that's fine...just want it to be over to find peace and serenity again. This has been a rough road.

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