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#770206 - 07/06/15 02:59 PM How Do I Know He's Divorced?
Fleur Offline

recently joined

Registered: 07/06/15
Posts: 3
Hello All:

My BF was married and until recently lived in Maryland. He told me he was divorced. Then he told me he was "getting" a divorce. We live 1500 miles from MD so I feel like I have no way to confirm this. I checked the website for Maryland Court Records, and couldn't find his name or his (ex?)wife's name listed for a divorce. He's never lived anywhere but Maryland so I don't think it would be filed in any other state.

The fact that something doesn't seem right and his description keeps changing, has caused me a great deal of concern. I know I need to know the answer (even if I really don't want to know) because I can't be with a liar (and a married liar to boot!)


So, have I fallen for a lying sack of poo or is it possible he's telling the truth? Would a filed (but not final) divorce appear in public record? Or would only a final divorce appear in public record? How can I be sure what his status is?

Really hate being in this situation! Any assistance will be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for your help!

:confused:

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#770207 - 07/07/15 05:00 PM Re: How Do I Know He's Divorced? [Re: Fleur]
oldsmom Offline

member

Registered: 06/08/15
Posts: 100
A filed divorce is a public record in my state. Not sure about all states. Trying looking up a public record for someone you know is already divorced, and see in the records listed paperwork for all the documents from filing to judgment, then you can compare that to what you find for your BF.

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#770208 - 07/07/15 10:11 PM Re: How Do I Know He's Divorced? [Re: oldsmom]
Fleur Offline

recently joined

Registered: 07/06/15
Posts: 3
Thanks, Oldsmom. My cousin lives in Maryland and she's divorced and I found her record on the Maryland Court Records website. But that showed a final divorce. What I'm trying to figure out is if he's not actually divorced yet is he at least in the process of GETTING divorced.

I know that in the state of Maryland, you have to live apart (not under the same roof) for one year before a divorce can be granted. What I can't figure out is when do you file the paperwork. Is it after the one year? (if so he would be in the process of getting that one year requirement completed now) or are you supposed to file the papers and that "starts the clock" on the one year.

What I'm not sure about is, if paperwork is needed to "start the clock" would the filed papers show up in the Maryland Court Records or is it only the final decree that shows up. If it's only the final decree than there's no way I can absolutely confirm he's really intending on getting a divorce because there's no paperwork that could be filed.

I hate not being trusting. But the story keeps changing. If he's separated and intending to divorce I'm ok with that. Not knowing his status and his intent is really worrisome.

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#770209 - 07/07/15 10:34 PM Re: How Do I Know He's Divorced? [Re: Fleur]
oldsmom Offline

member

Registered: 06/08/15
Posts: 100
If there are red flags, then it might be best that you just lay it out ont he table and ask to see the paperwork. Tell him your concerns, and tell him you feel badly for being difficult. But that's it's really affecting the relationship, so it's best to just clear the air.

If he's on the up and up he should have plenty of paperwork for you to see. If he's not, he will get defensive.

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#770210 - 07/16/15 06:56 PM Re: How Do I Know He's Divorced? [Re: oldsmom]
Fleur Offline

recently joined

Registered: 07/06/15
Posts: 3
Yup, you're right. Just gotta pull the trigger and ask for the details. Better to know now than later when it gets harder.

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