Hello internet world.
I've never been a forum guy. I've never been a religious person. Some quick background: (1) I'm newly divorced, (2) I have custody of my son (3) I've been focusing a lot on my son's emotional well being and mine (4) I've been going to the gym a lot!
I have gone on several dates and nothing has clicked, which I'm ok with. I went to the gym to lose weight and to get noticed a little bit. I've made a lot of progress, but have recently found that I've hit my wall. I'm sticking to working out and eating healthy. I have about 15 more pounds to lose before I hit my toned weight and can start building my abs!
What really sucked today was I went up to a person I had met a while ago. I knew that she had a divorce a couple years ago and I just thought I'd say hi and make small talk. I was probably a foot away from her and I said Hello! How's it going? She had her headset in, and just like that completely ignored me. No head nod, no smile, no nothing. I know that people are not obligated to say hello back...it's a personal choice, but I was really embarrassed to be right in the middle of the gym and get shut down like that.
I felt really frustrated (not sure if we can curse on these forums). I went in and weighed myself and although I've been working out - I still didn't move the scale at all for the second week! I've hit a wall. I'm trying everything. Ugh! Does NO ONE see my efforts? I'm trying so hard to be the good guy! I'm the classroom parent at my son's school. I work full time. I make time for my son. I cook, clean, keep myself looking nice. I do my best to listen and empathize to other people and I actually DO care how people's days are going. I'm trying so hard to be the guy that every woman seems to want and I can't even get an acknowledgement of existence! In that moment I had really had it with karma, lady luck, and even a bit of Gods grace. I didn't feel loved by anyone.
I walked out to my car in a funk. I was having a text conversation with a friend and I read in the write reply box (not yet sent), "You are a beautiful person". I know I didn't write that. I had only turned my phone on after I got out of the gym. I wasn't typing anything at the time so it didn't auto-correct. I'm agnostic, so I believe in God, but am wary of organized religion. However, I can tell you that it is the closest thing I've ever had a religious experience. Then, although statistically likely, I turned on the radio (no changing of the radio station) and heard "When we were young" by Adele.
Everybody loves the things you do
From the way you talk to the way you move
Everybody here is watching you
'Cause you feel like home
You're like a dream come true
So this is pretty mushy stuff, but it gave me my motivation and self-worth back. It gave me the kick in the pants to remember that God is there for me and that it's my responsibility to recognize my own self worth and to use it in the best way possible. I felt compelled to share this with people on this site in hopes of reminding all of you that you have something special to offer. Those people who don't choose us are not worth our time. The best people to focus your attention on are yourself and your kids (if you have them).
I wish you all a good day. You are worthy.