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#771576 - 03/18/16 02:54 PM Please Help Me
Georged123 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 03/18/16
Posts: 3
Hello,
My name is George and I just found this forum.
Last week I found out that my wife is having an affair. The guy does not want a relationship with her but her heart is not with me.
We havent had the perfect marriage. We fight a lot. We have two children.
I love her so much and want to save us. She says she wants to find herself.
I am DYING inside. I havent slept t in days. I cant eat. (I just want to sleep.) Im in so much pain.
I dont know how to make myself feel better.
Right now I am showing her the love I should have showed her all along. I can see it getting through but she still resists. I feel like a yo/yo.
I cant stop blaming myself.
I just want to cry but I CANT.!
Please help me. What do I do

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#771577 - 05/25/16 06:30 PM Re: Please Help Me [Re: Georged123]
khsmiley Offline

newbie

Registered: 05/24/16
Posts: 26
I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You're not alone, and her decision to pursue a relationship outside of the marriage is not your fault, George.

Have you talked with your wife about what SHE wants, moving forward? Does she feel that the relationship is salvageable?

How do you feel about her infidelity? Has she apologized (because you deserve at least that)?

You're in my thoughts and I hope you are able to start taking care of yourself and your health again.

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#773149 - 03/28/17 11:49 PM Re: Please Help Me [Re: Georged123]
FrancoStacy Offline
newbie

Registered: 03/28/17
Posts: 26
[quote=Georged123]Hello,
My name is George and I just found this forum.
Last week I found out that my wife is having an affair.>>>>> Ouch, it hurts and it hurts a man a little different than it does a woman.

The guy does not want a relationship with her but her heart is not with me.>>>>>> Lot of pigs in the male gender

We haven�t had the perfect marriage. We fight a lot. We have two children.>>>>>>>> You got kids, so you have to man up. Your kids need you to be careful and think this through and work your ass off.

I love her so much and want to save us. She says she wants to find herself.>>>>>> Yeah, well she isnt going to find herself on her back. Then swallow your pride, roll up your sleeves and fight for her out of love for her and your kids.

I am DYING inside. I haven�t slept t in days. I can�t eat. (I just want to sleep.)>>>>> Thats depression. Im there myself

I�m in so much pain.>>>>>>>>>> Yes it hurts, it hurts a lot

I don�t know how to make myself feel better.>>>>>>>>> Its like a birth, it has to finish. God and my Catholic faith saved me. Having my kids kept me going. Exercise, a good sweat cleared my mind for a little bit. Dont make dumb and drastic decisions, dont sleep around, get drunk or high and stay away from anything that may make you violent. Be level headed as much as you can.


Right now I am showing her the love I should have showed her all along. I can see it getting through but she still resists. I feel like a yo/yo.>>>>>>>> ITs good you recognize your faults. That gives you a chance because if you loved her and didnt show her, you were a yo/yo. But thats the past, dont beat yourself up, just do your best to change it, but change it to something you can and are willing to sustain for life. THese changes can not be temporary.

I can�t stop blaming myself.>>>>>>> Accepting some blame is healthy, but you got to allow yourself to get better too. So you messed up, fix it and move on.

I just want to cry but I CAN�T.!>>>>>> Why cant you? You arent physically or emotionally capable? I cried often and still do and I dont look like the type that would.

Please help me. What do I do� [/quote]>>>>>> Admit your mistakes. Seek counseling together. If she wont go then go yourself. Give it everything you have for your kids, because they are innocent. ITs time to man up. you have kids, you have no choice


Edited by FrancoStacy (03/28/17 11:54 PM)

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