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#772165 - 07/22/16 12:08 AM Abandonment and other
flapdoodle Offline

recently joined

Registered: 07/20/16
Posts: 6
Divorce seems imminent. Wife has asked me to move out to Mom's house. Grown daughter lives home. I had heard it said "you dont want to leave the house". It will be abandonment. She also wants to stay in the house for 2 years. I am rent free at Mom's so she sees me sending over the check as if I were home.

thoughts?

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#772166 - 07/23/16 12:42 PM Re: Abandonment and other [Re: flapdoodle]
Annie7676 Offline
old hand

Registered: 06/05/05
Posts: 933
Loc: NY
Why would you want to do that? Why has your wife asked you to move out? Abandonment may differ from state to state, and there is a time period on it, believe it is over a year. If you both own the home and wife wants you out, why doesn't she leave?

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#772167 - 07/25/16 04:56 PM Re: Abandonment and other [Re: Annie7676]
flapdoodle Offline

recently joined

Registered: 07/20/16
Posts: 6
I have a no rent room available at my mother's. She doesn't want to disrupt our daughter (25) who'd just now getting established in the work place. I understand her request. I did find out from a website that abandonment is over a year in NJ. I'm confirming this and a lot of other things tomorrow at an attorney consultation. thanks

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#772168 - 07/25/16 07:09 PM Re: Abandonment and other [Re: flapdoodle]
TJMH Offline

enthusiast

Registered: 07/17/15
Posts: 347
I think the 12 month abandonment (desertion) thing refers to "grounds" for the divorce, but since New Jersey recognizes "no-fault" divorce I don't think moving out makes any difference in whether or when either of you can file for divorce.

The advice to not move out typically has more to do with child custody (the person remaining in the marital home with minor children has more leverage for getting custody and child support) and with maintaining property rights (so it remains clear that you're still half-owner of the house and entitled to half it's value in the property settlement).

If neither of these are issues for you then moving to your mom's is probably a good solution. Continuing to live with a soon-to-be ex is financially easy but can be wearing emotionally (don't ask me how I know). Her moving out might also be a solution, but not as practical if she doesn't have a rent-free alternative and you do.

You and your wife will be jointly responsible for the mortgage as long as you remain married and possibly afterward if you're both on the deed and/or the mortgage. If you agree to pay the entire mortgage you should get some credit for that when property is divided.

As for her keeping the house for two years, that's probably something that would be up for negotiation. You might agree to pay the mortgage in exchange for a reduction in spousal support and/or an increased share of the equity when the house is eventually sold. Or you might insist that if she wants to keep the house she needs to refinance it (to get you off the deed and mortgage) and needs to compensate you for your share of the equity. If you can't reach agreement it's likely (especially with no minor children) that the court would order the property sold and the proceeds divided.

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#772169 - 07/25/16 08:35 PM Re: Abandonment and other [Re: TJMH]
flapdoodle Offline

recently joined

Registered: 07/20/16
Posts: 6
THANKS A LOT. ITS A STICKY SITUATION. SHE WORKS FOR MY SISTER AND HAS HATED IT FOR A LONGGGG TIME. FRICKIN BERMUDA TRIANGLE HER/SIS/ME. IF FAIR AND FEASIBLE, I'D HAVE NO PROBLEM TRYING TO HAVE HER STAY IN THE HOUSE. SHE'S SAID A COUPLE TIMES THAT SHE WOULDN'T GO AFTER MY PENSION, WHICH I BELIEVE, BUT IF SHE GETS PISSED DOWN THE ROAD, WHO KNOWS. I AGREE ABOUT THE ABANDONMENT. SEEING AN ATTORNEY TOMORROW TO GET A BUNCH OF ANSWERS. THANKS FOR YOUR COMMENT. IT HELPS

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