My STBX was very difficult throughout our 4 year marriage. We have a 4 and a half year old son. I left her 2015-12-04, 6 weeks after I got my green card. She has no money or income and I am not employed but I have significant savings and shortly before we separated my mother passed away and left me a six figure inheritance. I kept it separate but I had borrowed against it to buy my house which we never lived in jointly (she did have some mail delivered here). March 2016 I got her to sign a CR2A financial settlement after I stopped paying rent on our prior apartment. She now lives in a heavily mortgaged house owned by our son's trust which I control. We are sharing custody 50/50 but she is only ok with that if she can control both households. She has agreed to mediation in principle and we are not very far apart but she is hanging on to the idea that I owe her a living and she wants me to make sure our son inherits 100% of my house on my death regardless if I marry in future (which she would like to prohibit). She is 18 years younger than me.
The problem is that trying to cooperate for our son's care where we mostly agree is a herculean task. There is no way I will be able to get her to finalize the divorce with any compromise in writing by face to face negotiations. I need someone with some basic legal understanding and empathy for her situation who can facilitate communication between us. I cannot hire a mediator because the cost is prohibitive and anyway since I would be the only one paying, that would be another incentive for her to drag out the process and refuse to compromise. If anyone near Seattle (or through Skype) would like to help me, I could offer reciprocal services.