My current husband job is relocating out of state. After much deliberation, we feel moving is the best for our family. When we heard about the relocation, my oldest's father initially told me there was no way he would allow her to move.
After seeing a lawyer, it turned out there was no shared parenting plan. The divorce papers listed me as the residential parent and he gets reasonable visitation. We filed our notice to relocate in October/November. He has not filed any motions to adjust visitation. We don't plan to move u til June when school is over.
We tried again to be compromising and never even brought up to him that there is no shared parenting plan. He asked for a meeting to discuss terms of our move. We met with him and they presented a very one sided agreement that put all financial responsibilities on us saying that we were the ones deciding to move and should take on all the fees. They also tried to sneak things into the paper to create a shared parenting plan. Some requests were a bit much like how I had to pay for a cell phone, that child support would never be revisited (it's been 7 years and I never had it reevaluated); we would pay for all her braces when they were the ones who asked her to get them now.
We present them back with the standard court agreement that splits things equally.
My main concern is that now he is suddenly requesting her more days. My lawyer says to allow this as it shows I am accommodating when he requests time with her. However I feel he has some alternative motive. I don't understand why he is suddenly asking for this when he didn't care before. He also is trying to suddenly attend doctor visits and school meetings when he has never done so before. At times when his wife has come to meetings or appointments, she takes over the sessions with what she thinks and is verY controlling.
I understand that our daughter moving is difficult for him and all of us. He also doesn't support her and instead tells her how cold it is there, etc. I have tried to consider if I'm just being defensive or ridiculous, but something in my gut tells me his sudden increase in involvement is to make himself look better if he files in court.
It's very difficult to talk to him. He takes everything offensively when I'm merely trying to include him as he requested. For example my lawyer sent a nice note with the papers saying he hope we could all work together to come up with an agreement and my ex took that gesture as a threat.
We are under a lot of stress and o try to just not engage and only talk to her dad when necessary. Should I be concerned about his sudden desire to be involved or just relax and be glad he is spending time with her before we move?