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#772935 - 01/19/17 06:04 PM California Primary Custody
Dusty88 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 01/19/17
Posts: 1
Good morning, my wife and I are going through the motions to get divorced with two kids. She says she has been advised and assured by the courts that they will give her primary custody because I am active duty military , and she has no job so she wouldn't be able to live here. I am more than willing to pay child support, and the daycare along with extended student services programs for both kids. I am in a non-deployable status, and will be discharged within two years, never deploying. Do you think the CA court system will favor the mother just because she has been at home with them, when I am more than willing and capable of providing for both of them? I only seek joint 50/50 physical and legal custody. i would never want to take the kids away from their mother.

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#772937 - 01/20/17 11:05 PM Re: California Primary Custody [Re: Dusty88]
MinnesotaMom Online   content

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 787
Never take advice from a soon to be ex. What does your attorney say, as you most certainly need one?

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#772971 - 02/03/17 07:09 PM Re: California Primary Custody [Re: Dusty88]
dfresh Offline
recently joined

Registered: 02/03/17
Posts: 1
I do not want to be the advocate for the other side of trying for 50/50, but my wife are going through as similar situation. I have two little girls. I travel a lot for my job, sometimes two - three weeks in a row and knowing that, my wife is going for 100% as well. That an a high priced attorney and it seems anything is possible on her end.

In any event, our agreement is 100% physical with set visitation and 50/50 legal custody. This way I still have set times to see my girls and I know that they will have a single safe place to live always. And any major decisions with the girls have to be made by both of us. Like you say have no problem paying anything for my girls.

This may be an option if you two are still amicable about the children. Again that is just my two cents on the matter. Not trying to convince.

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#772981 - 02/04/17 05:11 PM Re: California Primary Custody [Re: Dusty88]
MinnesotaMom Online   content

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 787
Your post is offensive. Who wants to just "visit" your kids? It's called parenting time. A convicted felon would get more time than letting an agreement be 100% in the others favor. Written that way, your ex can deny you everytime you want to see the kids and be within the law. Pure foolishness.

As for a "single safe place to live" Studies show 2 willing parents are best. The kids have no problem with this, it's really only inconvenient to the parents.....and it's clear you didn't want to be inconvenienced.

Sounds like the only significant thing you have to offer to your kids is money, which in the grand scheme of things, is nearly total failure as a parent.

I would not recommend to anyone to follow the route you have.

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#772990 - 02/05/17 06:28 PM Re: California Primary Custody [Re: MinnesotaMom]
Goodmom Offline
Pooh-Bah

Registered: 06/17/07
Posts: 2202
While I agree that visitation is not the correct word, I disagree that 50/50 physical custody is only inconvenient to the parents.

It's not the parents who have to go back and forth. It's the kids. And not all kids can handle 50/50 physical. I happen to have had one who couldn't and one who may have been able to.

They are now 15 and 17 and doing well.

And the poster you were responding to stated that his parenting time is in the court order. Which means that he has legal recourse should she deny him his parenting time.

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#772992 - 02/06/17 10:09 PM Re: California Primary Custody [Re: Dusty88]
MinnesotaMom Online   content

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 787
Your child is the exception to the rule. The OP says his ex has 100% physical custody. Almost all decrees written this way have open ended parenting plan granting "liberal time," which is unenforceble if he is denied.

But, it doesn't matter. The OP doesn't appear to really want the time anyway. Between the lines, it's pretty clear.

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