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#773115 - 03/19/17 10:43 PM Filing for sole custody instead of joint?
mattyo1118 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 03/19/17
Posts: 1
I filed for divorce against my wife a few months ago. I filed for joint custody at the time I filed the initial paperwork. We had a temporary hearing where the family court commissioner ordered joint custody with primary placement with me. My wife agreed to this at the time of the temporary hearing. Our last hearing was a status hearing and a GAL was appointed to represent our kids because my wife is now trying to get primary placement. Our final hearing is on May 4th. I would now like to try to get sole custody and I need to know if I have to file new paperwork to do so. I'm not sure if I can just ask for sole custody at the final hearing or if I would have to file new paperwork stating that I'm seeking sole custody. Does anyone have any idea how this works or what steps I need to take to ask for sole custody? Neither of us have lawyers and I'm representing myself. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

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#773116 - 03/20/17 01:20 AM Re: Filing for sole custody instead of joint? [Re: mattyo1118]
MinnesotaMom Online   content

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 770
What are your reason(s) for sole custody? You should read up on "the best interest of the child" doctrine. You also desperately need an attorney. In cases like this, whoever hires one almost always wins.

Do you realize what a GAL costs and exactly their function in family court hearings?

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#773173 - 04/02/17 01:53 PM Re: Filing for sole custody instead of joint? [Re: mattyo1118]
FrancoStacy Offline
newbie

Registered: 03/28/17
Posts: 26
Sounds complicated. I would talk to a lawyer at least and suggest you hire one. Its another set of eyes who has seen a lot of legal situations and seen the decisions handed down by judges. If its important enough to believe this is best for the children, then its important enough to hire a professional who can focus on the legal side of it all.

What are your reasons? Hopefully its not a revenge thing or a counter attack of an attack made by your wife?

Once you enter into the world of divorce you are at the mercy of the courts that want to CLAIM they have the best interest of the children. They dont, they just feel better about themselves if they control you and dictate to you and they boast this is for the kids and watching out for them. My x and I agreed on things and we had four kids, but our courts refused for us to represent ourselves because we had children. I asked a lawyer about denying that and he told me that the constitution guaranteed our right to represent ourselves and this judge continually refuses that right and he claims its for the children. The lawyer said us lawyers know he is wrong and breaking the law, but we dont dare go against him on this becuse we ALL have to have cases brought before him sooner or later....so these legal pawns remain silent. The lawyer suggested we get a lawyer or fight it by taking up the chain of command to the state, but he said you wont find a local lawyer that will fight this violation of your constitutional rights...but just like that lawyer then, our divorce case would still go before him. Such a scam.

In the end my x and I got a lawyer together and it worked out well but that lawyer's paperwork looked nearly like ours and it had the same wording. We just had to bow down to the king and pay the money. We had to give Caesar what was Caesars.

So you are at the mercy of the judges who want to portray themselves righteous. They will first claim its all about the children first, but its not. Then also they dont want to come across they are slanted toward the male. The judge's careers are at stake because society on this subject is more tolerable about a judge leaning toward women than toward the male. It doesnt have to be true, just appear like the judge is favoring males is all that is required. So you showing up in court wanting sole custody without good reasons and attacking your wife will lead to a judicial burning at the stake is you dont have good reason and unfortunately, a lawyer can be a level head to tell you just how justified are your reasons. If you go this route and have nothing to stand on, then you are labeled as the evil man who is attacking the victim and those poor children.

What is best for the children is truly the big question. I tend to say parents know best, but in divorces too often children become the battle ground fueled by hurt ego's and broken hearts. Kids are fought for based on those injuries and its not clear what is best for children when parents do divorce. In real life, rarely do children spend equal time with their parents and no one really notices or has issue with it. Kids dont spend equal time with each parent, they love them the same, but love is not measured in those simple metrics....but after a divorce, equal time means equal love. (who cares about the individual children) But the so called mental experts believe this is best....the ones with PHDs after thier names. All of sudden they have theories they bring forth that came from the biases of their professor or the text book they learned from who learned it from another book, its just a regurgitation of what programmed them, its not individual thoughts or latest research. But what else could they say because us humans learn, we socialize and we love in different ways. We heal our wounds in different ways, we fester our wounds in different ways. Different things make us laugh and make us cry. Thats because we are beautiful humans that are complex, we are not ponies or dogs or dolphins in a sea world show. We are complex and each one of us is different, but the PHDs think they can tell you how to BOIL down your children so they come out cookie cutter healthy. But when you turn to divorce, you will be at their mercy and you and your wife may know your children the best, but for the first time in your lives, your knowledge of those children will have very little consideration to it all. The courts will follow a flow like they are stamping out license plates, the kids are all made the same way, just a different number is applied, but the judges go home smug that they have done their job well.

**But to defend those lawyers, those judges and those therapists and psychiatrists with the letters attached to their names, to DEFEND their actions, they are given a pile of crap called divorce! They are asked and paid to polish it for the betterment for society. What else can they do?

So in the best interest of your children....lay down your anger, lay down your ego, stick your pride in the trunk of your car and forget the battles and wounds of the past. You think and think hard out those innocent children. Ask them what they want and you consider it with every drop of your soul. Listen to what they say and look them in the eye. And before you attack their mom and leave her...you make damn sure, and I mean you explore every atom of your heart....can the marriage not be saved...

Because if it cant.....you know have lost control like you never dreamed and your kids will see both you and your wife in a different light. Your fate and their fate is now in someone's else hand as they decide the path for you all. Your kids birthdays, sleepovers, their graduations, their marriages, the birth of their children and relationship with grandparents, their baptisms, Christmases, Easters, mothers and fathers days will forever be changed. Even funurals will forever be changed....and what have you taught your children? What message have you sent them?

So think this through, a lot is riding on it.




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#773674 - 06/16/17 06:15 AM Re: Filing for sole custody instead of joint? [Re: mattyo1118]
JamesMBall Offline
recently joined

Registered: 05/24/17
Posts: 2
Yeah I agree.

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