So my wife and I decided to open our marriage about 14 months ago. We met when we were young, so we figured we found an "awesome" loophole of being able to stay married while still enjoying the excitement of dating. That all fell apart when I met a girl who I developed feelings for. My wife was against this of course, but I told her that love is a beautiful thing, and I can love two people at the same time (I genuinely believed that at the time).
My wife has had boyfriends of her own, and most recently has been dating a guy... for about 8 months who is crazy over heels for her. The issue is that she never felt the same kind of love for him, and grew increasingly jealous of the girl I was dating. I kept pushing it, and trying to make it work and keep the marriage. The love I had for my girlfriend was really strong, it overcame me, and I felt paralyzed. I couldn't leave her. I felt like she was the "right" person for me and I started to see all of the flaws in my wife... as a wife. However - the issue is that my wife and I work GREAT as friends. It came down to the point where I just wanted to be domestic partners.
I should also mention that we have a 3 year old daughter.
Fast forward to today - I found an apartment and am about to move out. I'm a complete mess. I keep second guessing myself. This is a classic stupid move - leaving your wife for a new girlfriend. However, my wife and I have had problems, and have spoken about divorce in the past. I feel like we wouldn't have opened up our marriage if everything was perfect (it was a mutual choice). The relationship with my girlfriend is not brand new per say, we've been together for about 13 months.
What makes this hard is that my wife and I get along so well. But our love life has completed died. We are domestic partners. She's treating my girlfriend as a betrayal. Even though in this case, this was an open marriage, and I did not hide anything. She gave me a rule of "no love" and I broke it. I couldn't help it. It just overtook me.
What I want is for things to be civil eventually. I want my wife to know that I will continue to be there for her... in any way that I can under these circumstances. I also need to be an active part in my daughters life.
I'm sorry for the incomplete sentences, but this is exactly what is in my brain right now. I have no idea if I'm making the right move. I love my girlfriend, and I want to stay with her. I love my wife, but I can't be lovers with her. Yes, we went to therapy, and I've been stuck in this flux of indecisiveness, and now it's finally falling into one of the directions. I just don't know if it's the right one. I won't know until it actually happens and a few years pass. By which point it will be too late to undo what I did.
Edited by Dave8067 (02/07/17 02:25 AM)