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#772189 - 07/24/16 01:34 PM Dealing with my ex wifes new relationship
Rockstardad777 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 07/24/16
Posts: 1
I'm 41 and divorced for 7.5 years. I have and 8 year old boy and an 11 year old boy whom I have equal custody. Neither me or my ex is remarried. Recently I discovered she's been bringing her boyfriend of 3 months around my kids including sleepovers nearly every night while my kids are there. She says it's gonna be a long term relationship. She also told me she'll be bringing him to my sons baseball games as well. Am I wrong to think this is completely morally a bad decision??? We've argued about it and she doesn't see it that way and says she will continue to do it because she wants her boys to see her happy. In my opinion it's selfish and reckless after only knowing someone 3 months. On another note, we spend nearly 5-6 evenings and afternoons together all spring summer and fall for baseball and get along decently..in fact in some dark place in my mind I thought maybe there was a chance at rekindling our relationship until I was blindsided by this. So now I dread facing this new guy who barely knows my kids at every game. And I also am having some trouble realizing that there never was a chance at rekindling our relationship. We had many problems having kids and ended up paying several thousand dollars to artificially inseminate through a donor for both my boys only to find out that she started am affair with her boss shortly after giving birth to my youngest...so why I would even want her back I don't understand either. Any advise would be great.

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#772190 - 07/24/16 03:40 PM Re: Dealing with my ex wifes new relationship [Re: Rockstardad777]
MinnesotaMom Online   content

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 770
From a legal standing, your ex has done nothing illegal and you are powerless how she handles her relationships.

I would recommend some kind of counseling for yourself. I fully understand where you are coming from, but what your ex is doing is considered fully acceptable in today's culture.

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#772191 - 09/17/16 11:40 AM Re: Dealing with my ex wifes new relationship [Re: MinnesotaMom]
janetschweitzer Offline

recently joined

Registered: 09/14/16
Posts: 3
Love is everything we all are striving for, that can fill our lives with happiness. You are still attached to your wife its normal, but you need to accept the fact that she had moved on. It's better for you to move on, leaving all the things behind and closing the old chapter of your life as you cannot open a new chapter till when you don't close the last one. Browse over conciergeintroductions.com for more help and to begin a new chapter of life.


Edited by janetschweitzer (09/17/16 11:43 AM)

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#772192 - 09/22/16 10:24 AM Re: Dealing with my ex wifes new relationship [Re: janetschweitzer]
Azarali Offline

recently joined

Registered: 09/22/16
Posts: 1
in this situation you can talk to your children about your mental status, dont think that they will not understand it. Ask about their feelings on this, and how they wanna deal with this. Spend more quality time with your children you will feel better. In case your ex wife wanna make your children to meet with her bf you cant do anything about it unless your children dont want it. you should have a dinner with your ex wife, her bf, your children and talk about your worries.

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#772193 - 09/23/16 07:41 AM Re: Dealing with my ex wifes new relationship [Re: Azarali]
shaybib Offline

recently joined

Registered: 09/11/16
Posts: 5
if the bf treat them ok and doesn't harm them you can't prevent it. the most important thing in this is your children. if you are confused about the current situation imagine what they are going trough. you must talk to them and clear things out.

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#772911 - 01/12/17 04:46 PM Re: Dealing with my ex wifes new relationship [Re: Rockstardad777]
khsmiley Offline

newbie

Registered: 05/24/16
Posts: 26
What's reckless is that you've been divorced for 7.5y and seem to think you have a say in your ex's dating life because you held out hope that you would get back together. You weren't "blindsided". She is single and it shouldn't have been a surprise that she would start dating someone else. There's nothing wrong with bringing someone new around the kids. If she had been seeing this person for 6 months, would you be perfectly fine with her bringing him around the kids? How long would you date someone before you let your kids meet them?

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#773167 - 04/01/17 10:20 PM Re: Dealing with my ex wifes new relationship [Re: Rockstardad777]
FrancoStacy Offline
newbie

Registered: 03/28/17
Posts: 26
Hey you are human and maybe a romantic that hoped for the best for your marriage and family. Its reasonable for you to think like that since its been that long and you could do things together, but she has taken it to another stage.

I have been there too. My wife walked out on my and my four kids and none of us saw it coming. We didnt fight. We were best friends. Our kids had it great. We had respected each other nad had sex 4 or 5 times a week. She walked out along with a bunch of lies, but I still welcomed her back. Even after her first boyfriend her and I was still having sex. We still did things with the kids together. Even after her second boyfriend, we still had sex, we still did things together. In fact, the frequency of sex increased and are kids got use to us being together just not staying in our home. Her and I even went on vacation together and our kids knew she had a boyfriend. We had a wonderful time and I would go in the other room when her boyfriend called because he didnt know I was there with my WIFE, we were still married. How messed up is that?

I even offered to stay married to her and she keep her double life and we would tell the kids she is on travel for work. I did this out of commitment and strength for our marriage and God and our behalf of our children. I mean we still did things. Our kids were vocal that they wanted us back together and our sex life was good and I was giving her all the freedom she wanted because I thought eventually I would win all of her heart back.

It didnt happen. She married her third boyfriend. It messed me up. It messed our kids up too. Not sure i will ever be over it.
Its like a nightmare to be honest. I loved her very much. I loved my family and my kids. I could not in a million years have done that to her or my kids.

We been divorced for two years but its been 6 years since she walked out...never came back in all those years. I gave it my best shot is all I can say.



Take a look at this world we live in. Watch the news. Check out the divorce rate. Dont expect our system or anything related to our government to give a hoot about any morals or the right thing. Your wife could sleep with a different man or woman every night and the only thing the courts cares is are the kids in danger of physical harm, do they have the things that the courts think they should have, but if you go in there saying its not morally right or thats not how we raised our kids or it sends a immoral message to my kids, they will laugh at you and mop up the floor with your tears. When it comes to morals we are bankrupt.

You want her back...Im guessing because you love her and loved the idea of you and her. Not a damn thing wrong with that. But who am I to tell you whats wrong or tell you to give up on a dream.

Facing the new guy will be horrible for you.


Edited by FrancoStacy (04/01/17 10:31 PM)

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