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#771463 - 02/15/16 11:37 PM Stay or Go...Every piece of me says go
jodee257 Offline

recently joined

Registered: 02/15/16
Posts: 1
I've been married for 14 yrs. Everything started off great. He was romantic and loving. We had two beautiful boys in 2005 and 2007. My pregnancy in 2007 had complications and it was very stressful for him and for me. I have had complications on and off since. I have anxiety and some depression. My depression is worsened by the way he talks down to me now. The romantic, loving person I married is now cold and cruel. If the laundry builds up because I'm not feeling well, then I'm lazy. I get to it but not on his timeline. As he has gotten older (he's ten years older than me) he has really because overly type A. Can't leave light on, a door to a bedroom open, kids can't leave toy on the floor or book out. I help with the kids homework, do the dishes, I do do the laundry just not as quickly as he may like. We're not talking mounds of it, maybe 3 or four loads. He also has a problem with my weight. I am on several different medications and some of them cause weight gain. I don't eat poorly but also cannot exercise with my physical limitations. So he likes to tell me that I am obese and he says he has the right as my husband to tell me that is how he feels. He can also tell me I'm lazy because he is my husband and he has the right to tell me how he fells. He also tells me he is not physically attracted to me and that's why we have not had sex for four years. Other people find me attractive. Yes I could loose 20 lbs and be in better shape I would like that. Last spring I lost 35 lbs and he told me I was still fat. Great motivation. So as he beats me down more and more over the last four years the less I want to do. I don't mop every week. I mop every other which drives him crazy sometimes he just does it. I may wait an extra day or two to do the laundry. I may do nothing on a Saturday that I'm off. I'm just tired of having a "roommate" and a mean one at that. The because of my kidney issues he has lost most of his empathy for my pain and anything that causes me pain. The last straw was I thought I was having a stroke. I had the facial droop and the right arm weakness. He didn't call an ambulance he said let me change my clothes and I'll take you in. (the hospital is 5 miles away). He took a SHOWER and then took me to the door of the emergency room and said my wife is has a facial droop and right arm weakness and ask they wisked me in they said you can park and then come sit over here. He comment "I'm going to take the kids and get something to eat we'll be back in a bit". REALLY. As I laid in the hospital for 4 days and he came in once to see me... I did a lot of thinking and I want out of this marriage am I wrong. When I got discharged I got home and he made a comment that he better do the dishes cause Mom's sick again... I said "you know what we either need to see a marriage counselor or a divorce attorney because this time it was a migraine event next time your going to give me a true stroke, I can't take this anymore!" Needless to say thing have been tense in the house. I am mentally exhausted from him be-rating me. I don't want to do this to the kids but I don't think I can take it anymore. He's even starting on the kids now. 30 min lectures over nothing (leaving something out or leaving the computer on when they go for a snack, leaving the light on in a room). Ugh, I just want to scream. Am I over reacting is leaving not the answer. I told him I would go to a counselor because he doesn't want a divorce but it would be up to him to set it up...that was a month ago and he hasn't done it yet. I have an appt with a lawyer this Thursday.

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#771464 - 02/16/16 02:19 PM Re: Stay or Go...Every piece of me says go [Re: jodee257]
MinnesotaMom Online   content

old hand

Registered: 01/05/11
Posts: 770
"I have an appt with a lawyer this Thursday."

That's the only good part of your post. I'm all for giving it all you have to make a marriage work, but the abuse of your husband is far beyond making your marriage salvageable.

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#773848 - 07/30/17 05:04 PM Re: Stay or Go...Every piece of me says go [Re: jodee257]
Vss719 Offline
recently joined

Registered: 07/30/17
Posts: 2
After reading this is i realized you and I have alot of similarities in life with the men that are involved in our lives. I hope you've found peace. I appreciate your post because it gives me inspiration to find peace in my life and make some decisions that needed to be made for a long time. I wish you well

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