The end of a marriage is never easy, and whatever the reason for it, the breakup of a marriage can turn the whole world upside down and trigger painful and unsettling emotions. The death of a marriage must be grieved, and here are tips for grieving after a divorce:
- The pain is very real. A rollercoaster of emotions – ups and downs, including anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion – are very normal, and these emotions can be very painful. Trying to suppress or ignore emotions only prolongs the grieving process.
- Emotions should be voiced. Even if it is difficult to talk about feelings, it is very important to find a way to do so when grieving. Knowing that others are aware of feelings reduces the isolation that pain brings and helps healing. A journal is a good outlet for emotions.
- The goal is moving on. Expressing emotions brings a measure of freedom, but it is important not to dwell on the negative feelings or to over-analyze the situation. Getting stuck in hurtful feelings like blame, anger, and resentment robs a person of valuable energy and prevents healing.
- Tomorrow is the future. It’s hard to let these dreams go that a person brings to marriage. Grieving for a future that never happened is easier when a person envisions a time when new hopes and dreams replace lost ones.
- Know the difference between a normal reaction to a breakup and depression. Grief can be paralyzing after a breakup, but after a while, the sadness begins to lift. Day by day, and little by little, most people start moving on. Depression may warrant professional help.