Research suggests that conflict and turmoil between divorced and divorcing parents are normal for two to three years, and according to one source, “[f]or about one tenth of all divorcing couples, the unremitting animosity will shadow the entire growing up years of the children.”
So often a divorce ends the war but not the fighting. Endless battles with a former husband or wife over custody, child support and visitation can make divorced parenting an endless trek in no man’s land.
Divorced parenting becomes very demanding, not only because the two parents lack each other’s presence to reinforce joint decisions, but also because the partners themselves are often in the midst of strife and conflict.
At all costs, however, former partners want to keep the children out of the crossfire. The former spouses should never speak negatively to the children about the other parent, nor should the parents argue or fight in front of them. Both former partners should remember that the parent who harms his or her former spouse also hurts the child.