Successful divorce negotiations demand that the spouses treat each other with respect. Negotiating spouses must assert themselves without fighting. They must give and take in the back-and-forth of good faith bargaining.
Hard as it may be to refrain from rehashing the failure of the marriage, divorce negotiations are not the place to autopsy the marriage. This can be very difficult, particularly since the partners once envisioned a lifetime marriage.
When divorcing spouses can be civil to one another, they can reach an accord about the terms and condition of their divorce without undue reliance on lawyers, who cost money (and sometimes create problems). This means allowing each other to speak without interruption, being patient, and listening attentively.
In divorce negotiations, neither spouse gets everything he or she wants, so both must be willing to compromise. A fair settlement is one where neither spouse is completely happy, but both spouses can abide the outcome.