Sometimes in a divorce a spouse becomes stuck, unable to move past the anger.
Terri Orbuch, a psychologist and research professor at the University of Michigan’s Institute for Social Research and author of Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship, says, “divorced individuals who blamed ex-spouses, or even themselves, had more anxiety, depression and sleep disorders than individuals who blamed the way that they and their partners interacted.
“Those who held on to anger were less likely to move on, build a strong new relationship and address future problems in a positive, proactive manner.”
Couples who divorce often get caught up in “the blame game,” in which the marital failure has to be someone’s fault when in the majority of cases, divorce is a failure relationship skills.
Relationship skills – the way each spouse related to and reacted to each other and the problems in the marriage during the marriage – is something that causes most marital failures. Without relationship skills a couple will not have a healthy marriage nor will they be able to get over a failed marriage.