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The Courage to Accept Your Marriage is Over by Susan Herrera, MSW, CPC, ELI-MP
The courage to accept that your marriage is over is the first step towards building your new life and creating new dreams. Does it hurt? Heck yeah. Are you in pain? Absolutely.
The Children’s Therapist in Divorce by By Irving H. Zaroff, JD LMFT and Dana Schutz Keane, MA LMFT
Whether children experience expected emotional and/or psychological problems or are more adversely affected, the help of a trained child therapist may be important. The need for outside help may be dictated by observation of how the children’s behaviors and moods change, the level of conflict between the parents, and the capacity of parents to provide the support children may need.
When you are in the middle of your divorce, keeping your focus on the positive can be one of the greatest challenges that you may face. But it is in adversity where you can really challenge your beliefs and hone your personal skills, and deepen your personal spirituality.
Divorce, Dreams and Nightmares by By Irving H. Zaroff, JD LMFT and Dana Schutz Keane, MA LMFT
Dreams! Most of us chase them: to live in them, to emulate them, to be a part of them. Who doesn’t want to experience the American dream, be part of a dream team, or live happily ever after?
The Four Phase Theory of Divorce - Phase Four - Post Divorce by By Irving H. Zaroff, JD LMFT and Dana Schutz Keane, MA LMFT
Previously we discussed the phases of divorce encompassing the decision to divorce, the process of divorcing, and arriving at the transition stage which describes the shift from interdependency and joint decision making toward independent choices based on a single life. From a world with divided roles, each former spouse must develop the capabilities that had been the responsibility of their mate.
The Four Phase Theory of Divorce - Phases Two and Three - Transition & Litigation by By Irving H. Zaroff, JD LMFT and Dana Schutz Keane, MA LMFT
Once the decision to divorce surfaces (the “deliberation” phase) couples enter the “transition” phase. Transitioning is an emotional roller coaster of adjustment to physical and financial separation.
The Four Phase Theory of Divorce - Phase One - Deliberation by By Irving H. Zaroff, JD LMFT and Dana Schutz Keane, MA LMFT
There are many theories about the emotional journey when a marriage comes to an end. In this article and others to follow, we take a look at one theory that compresses the many stages of divorce to four general phases: Deliberation; Litigation; Transition: and Post Divorce (or Redirection) (John Haynes, Ph.D.).
The Marriage Contract by Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT
When you said I do!, did you have any idea you were entering into a contract under California law? To many the vows are spiritual, emotional, or merely ritualistic. But marriage creates legal rights and obligations. What is the contract you are creating when you tie the knot in California?
Divorce Advice - Tell Me What To Do by Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT
There is a distinction between advice intended to provide knowledge and advice intended to recommend action. In either case, the product of advice is an opinion.
In Divorce, It’s Better to Pace than to Race by Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT
Developing a divorce agreement is a process that has significant impact and a lingering effect. Decisions you will have to live with for a long time may make more sense if you exercise a little patience and a lot of common sense.
Divorce - The Final Solution by Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT
More than half the numbers of marriages in California end in divorce. The rate of divorce in second and third marriages is even higher.
Moviní On by Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT
Divorce is among the most traumatic experiences people face in their lives. But, divorce is not merely an end, it is also a beginning. To welcome new chapters in your life you have to leave the past behind and learn to move on. Although many resources can help, the process is generally easier said than done.
Halloween, Divorce and The Art of Negotiation by Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT
Isnít divorce a bit like Halloween? Each party puts on a mask - to frighten or hide. Sometimes the mask changes from intimidating to intimidated.
Independence? Or Just A Bunch of Firecrackers? by Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT
When most attorneys are managing the divorce, they will have fees for guiding outside experts (who also charge fees) through the process. Now double that for each spouseís representation.
Restructuring the Post-Divorce Relationship by Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT
At the precipice of divorce one can look back and probably follow a trail that led from courtship to marriage and parenthood, fueled by the desire to connect through warmth, understanding and shared intimacy. This positive intimacy engenders love, compassion and trust.
Broken Valentine by Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT
In movie portrayals of the organized crime syndicates, the hitmen intend to soften their violent acts with the phrase, Its business, not personal.
Dissolution - Resolution? by Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT
Each year most of us use the "New Year" as an opportunity to start over. We reflect on the past yearís unfulfilled dreams, regrets, failures, bad habits, etc. The New Year gives us a chance to wipe the slate clean - a chance to "do it right," achieve our dreams, get rid of our bad habits, and make our lives better. But what is really different?
Man, Woman, Divorce, Recovery by Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT
In this era of political correctness and gender blindness, it is sometimes easy to lose sight of real world experience. The trauma of divorce and rate of recovery should be the same for men and women. But, the hard facts reveal that it is not.
Attitude - Good or Bad - Does it matter in divorce? by Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT
A successful divorce has been argued to contain the following elements: recovery from the emotional pain of separation, becoming grounded as a separate individual, providing the necessary nurturance and social growth of children, and developing a healthy attitude toward self, ex-spouse and past marriage.
Post Divorce - Getting Unstuck by Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT
The divorce is final. The judge’s ruling or settlement agreement has resolved all the issues between the couple. The care and custody of the children are carefully laid out in the parenting plan. You are free, at last! But, how come I work so hard to teach my children responsible behavior and their dad let’s them stay up late, leave homework undone, and get them to school just as the bell rings? Why does their mom keep information about their school and health from me? Why does every question lead to a war?
The ABCs of Divorce Communication by Dana Schutz, MA, LMFT and Irving Zaroff, JD, LMFT
While attitude is the key factor in all relationships breakdown in communication is the part that is visible. Take a divorcing or divorced couple, add intense emotion, a pinch of sensitive issues and you may have the proverbial pot boiling over.
Some people have to go home to their parents in tough economic times but can you imagine sharing a house with your ex-spouse?
Cheating with Oscar Meyer? Loving up to Sara Lee? Read why one couple decided on divorce - for a seemingly unconventional reason!
Patience and persistence are two of the most effective weapons in your negotiation arsenal. Winning negotiators know that by staying calm, determined, and focused they gain advantage that translates into favorable deals.
10 Tips For Dealing with Arguments by Diana Mercer, Attorney-Mediator
Try to understand your spouse’s viewpoint. Once you understand what he or she wants, you can begin to see how you might be able to help resolve the situation.
10 Tips for Breaking Impasse in Negotiations by Diana Mercer, Attorney-Mediator
Determine how the pecking order in the relationship is maintained regardless of who technically has more or less power in the hierarchy of the relationship.
No muss, no fuss, no misunderstandings, right? In todayís world of single parenting, few topics seem to stir up a cauldron of controversy than the subject of Single Mothers Raising Sons.
A Day In The Life Of The Not Quite Wife by Kristina Diener, Psy.D.
Can you guess what happens when a divorced dadís single spree culminates into a full blown Significant Other? Spending quality time may be enjoyable, but what happens when Allís Fair In Love becomes All Out War?
Everything I do is wrong, laments an dejected Annette. The 17 year old Las Vegas senior is referring to her fractious relationship with her stepmother, Nancy. Annette has every right to complain. Whenever I try to do anything, and I mean anything - Nancy immediately has to invoke her right to decide. She has to correct, admonish, cajole, provoke, and generally reconstruct me in ways that resemble her, not my mom.
Overcoming Divorce Trauma by Kristina Diener, Psy.D.
Overcoming Divorce Trauma, Foolproof Strategies for Maintaining Your Childs Equilibrium, As is typical in practically every divorce, your children are usually the last know. Even when a marriage is fraught with discord, children generally hold onto the wish that their parents will somehow manage to stay together, or, like The Parent Trap, they can engineer a modicum of a truce.
Divorce - What Went Wrong? by Alternatives Divorce Mediation
The "D-Word" strikes at the heart of all married couples. Prenuptial agreements - agreements made even before marriage - all have provisions for what happens in the event of a divorce.
Ways to Rekindle Romance by Dr. Lois V. Nightingale
Ways to Rekindle Romance (Ideas for Valentineís Day)
Two Career Families - Contracting for Intimacy by Alternatives Divorce Mediation
The days of single model for marriage are over. Now there are multiple models. No longer is it the rule for the man to bear the sole responsibility for bringing home the proverbial bacon while the woman is responsible for caring for the home and children.
Making Your Marriage Work by Alternatives Divorce Mediation
Half of all the couples marrying today will end in divorce. In previous generations it was not surprising to hear that a couple was celebrating their twenty-fifth, thirtieth, or even fiftieth wedding anniversary. Will any of the current generation celebrate these milestones?
Someone Right for You? by Alternatives Divorce Mediation
I am constantly hearing the lament: "Where have all the good men (women) gone?" The way people talk, you would think that mates were an extinct species. In this article I will be discussing the issue of mate selection in human beings and ways in which you can increase the odds of finding a ícompatible mate.í
Keeping the Humanity in a Divorce by Alternatives Divorce Mediation
Weíve all heard the tragic story from a family member, co-worker or friend - they got a divorce and in the process, spent an unseemly amount of money for a lot of stress, aggravation and a settlement with which they were not really happy.

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In a summary dissolution, a hearing with the judge is typically not needed. A marriage of five years or less may be ended by summary dissolution, which is a simplified procedure to terminate a marriage in the state of California. With a summary dissolution, a joint petition is filed when 1) either spouse meets the standard residency requirement, 2) the marriage is irretrievably broken down due to irreconcilable differences, 3) the marriage is childless, 4) the wife is not pregnant, 5) neither spouse owns real estate, 6) there are no unpaid debts greater than $4,000, 7) the total value of community property is less than $25,000, 8) neither spouse has separate property (excluding cars and loans) of greater than $25,000, 9) the spouses have reached an agreement regarding the division and distributions of assets and liabilities, 10) both waive their rights to maintenance and appeal; 11) both have read a brochure about summary dissolution and 12) both desire to end the marriage.

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