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The courage to accept that your marriage is over is the first step towards building your new life and creating new dreams. Does it hurt? Heck yeah. Are you in pain? Absolutely.
Whether children experience expected emotional and/or psychological problems or are more adversely affected, the help of a trained child therapist may be important. The need for outside help may be dictated by observation of how the children’s behaviors and moods change, the level of conflict between the parents, and the capacity of parents to provide the support children may need.
When you are in the middle of your divorce, keeping your focus on the positive can be one of the greatest challenges that you may face. But it is in adversity where you can really challenge your beliefs and hone your personal skills, and deepen your personal spirituality.
Dreams! Most of us chase them: to live in them, to emulate them, to be a part of them. Who doesn’t want to experience the American dream, be part of a dream team, or live happily ever after?
Previously we discussed the phases of divorce encompassing the decision to divorce, the process of divorcing, and arriving at the transition stage which describes the shift from interdependency and joint decision making toward independent choices based on a single life. From a world with divided roles, each former spouse must develop the capabilities that had been the responsibility of their mate.
Once the decision to divorce surfaces (the “deliberation” phase) couples enter the “transition” phase. Transitioning is an emotional roller coaster of adjustment to physical and financial separation.
There are many theories about the emotional journey when a marriage comes to an end. In this article and others to follow, we take a look at one theory that compresses the many stages of divorce to four general phases: Deliberation; Litigation; Transition: and Post Divorce (or Redirection) (John Haynes, Ph.D.).
When you said I do!, did you have any idea you were entering into a contract under California law? To many the vows are spiritual, emotional, or merely ritualistic. But marriage creates legal rights and obligations. What is the contract you are creating when you tie the knot in California?
There is a distinction between advice intended to provide knowledge and advice intended to recommend action. In either case, the product of advice is an opinion.
Developing a divorce agreement is a process that has significant impact and a lingering effect. Decisions you will have to live with for a long time may make more sense if you exercise a little patience and a lot of common sense.
More than half the numbers of marriages in California end in divorce. The rate of divorce in second and third marriages is even higher.
Divorce is among the most traumatic experiences people face in their lives. But, divorce is not merely an end, it is also a beginning. To welcome new chapters in your life you have to leave the past behind and learn to move on. Although many resources can help, the process is generally easier said than done.
Isn’t divorce a bit like Halloween? Each party puts on a mask - to frighten or hide. Sometimes the mask changes from intimidating to intimidated.
When most attorneys are managing the divorce, they will have fees for guiding outside experts (who also charge fees) through the process. Now double that for each spouse’s representation.
At the precipice of divorce one can look back and probably follow a trail that led from courtship to marriage and parenthood, fueled by the desire to connect through warmth, understanding and shared intimacy. This positive intimacy engenders love, compassion and trust.
In movie portrayals of the organized crime syndicates, the hitmen intend to soften their violent acts with the phrase, Its business, not personal.
Each year most of us use the "New Year" as an opportunity to start over. We reflect on the past year’s unfulfilled dreams, regrets, failures, bad habits, etc. The New Year gives us a chance to wipe the slate clean - a chance to "do it right," achieve our dreams, get rid of our bad habits, and make our lives better. But what is really different?
In this era of political correctness and gender blindness, it is sometimes easy to lose sight of real world experience. The trauma of divorce and rate of recovery should be the same for men and women. But, the hard facts reveal that it is not.
A successful divorce has been argued to contain the following elements: recovery from the emotional pain of separation, becoming grounded as a separate individual, providing the necessary nurturance and social growth of children, and developing a healthy attitude toward self, ex-spouse and past marriage.
The divorce is final. The judge’s ruling or settlement agreement has resolved all the issues between the couple. The care and custody of the children are carefully laid out in the parenting plan. You are free, at last! But, how come I work so hard to teach my children responsible behavior and their dad let’s them stay up late, leave homework undone, and get them to school just as the bell rings? Why does their mom keep information about their school and health from me? Why does every question lead to a war?
While attitude is the key factor in all relationships breakdown in communication is the part that is visible. Take a divorcing or divorced couple, add intense emotion, a pinch of sensitive issues and you may have the proverbial pot boiling over.
Some people have to go home to their parents in tough economic times but can you imagine sharing a house with your ex-spouse?
Cheating with Oscar Meyer? Loving up to Sara Lee? Read why one couple decided on divorce - for a seemingly unconventional reason!
Patience and persistence are two of the most effective weapons in your negotiation arsenal. Winning negotiators know that by staying calm, determined, and focused they gain advantage that translates into favorable deals.
Try to understand your spouse’s viewpoint. Once you understand what he or she wants, you can begin to see how you might be able to help resolve the situation.
Determine how the pecking order in the relationship is maintained regardless of who technically has more or less power in the hierarchy of the relationship.
No muss, no fuss, no misunderstandings, right? In today’s world of single parenting, few topics seem to stir up a cauldron of controversy than the subject of Single Mothers Raising Sons.
Can you guess what happens when a divorced dad’s single spree culminates into a full blown Significant Other? Spending quality time may be enjoyable, but what happens when All’s Fair In Love becomes All Out War?
Everything I do is wrong, laments an dejected Annette. The 17 year old Las Vegas senior is referring to her fractious relationship with her stepmother, Nancy. Annette has every right to complain. Whenever I try to do anything, and I mean anything - Nancy immediately has to invoke her right to decide. She has to correct, admonish, cajole, provoke, and generally reconstruct me in ways that resemble her, not my mom.
Overcoming Divorce Trauma, Foolproof Strategies for Maintaining Your Childs Equilibrium, As is typical in practically every divorce, your children are usually the last know. Even when a marriage is fraught with discord, children generally hold onto the wish that their parents will somehow manage to stay together, or, like The Parent Trap, they can engineer a modicum of a truce.
The "D-Word" strikes at the heart of all married couples. Prenuptial agreements - agreements made even before marriage - all have provisions for what happens in the event of a divorce.
Ways to Rekindle Romance (Ideas for Valentine’s Day)
The days of single model for marriage are over. Now there are multiple models. No longer is it the rule for the man to bear the sole responsibility for bringing home the proverbial bacon while the woman is responsible for caring for the home and children.
Half of all the couples marrying today will end in divorce. In previous generations it was not surprising to hear that a couple was celebrating their twenty-fifth, thirtieth, or even fiftieth wedding anniversary. Will any of the current generation celebrate these milestones?
I am constantly hearing the lament: "Where have all the good men (women) gone?" The way people talk, you would think that mates were an extinct species. In this article I will be discussing the issue of mate selection in human beings and ways in which you can increase the odds of finding a ’compatible mate.’
We’ve all heard the tragic story from a family member, co-worker or friend - they got a divorce and in the process, spent an unseemly amount of money for a lot of stress, aggravation and a settlement with which they were not really happy.

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To file for divorce, one spouse must have lived in California for the last six months, and the county where the action is filed for the last three months. Spouses who have lived in California for at least six months, but in different counties for at least three months can file in either county. These California residency requirements must be met in order for the court to have jurisdiction of the case.

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